


Epic Randomness

by Kyarorain



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-01
Updated: 2008-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-11 15:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 58,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyarorain/pseuds/Kyarorain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ash, Dawn, Brock, Misty and May find themselves getting into all kinds of crazy situations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

As the credits began to scroll up the TV screen, signalling that the movie  
had come to its end, Misty reached for the remote control lying next to her and  
held it out. With a push of the power button, the TV flickered off and the room  
became silent. The redhead leaned back against the cushions and let out a long  
sigh, raising her turquoise eyes toward a clock on the wall. It was already late  
and she was all alone at home because her sisters had gone out to some dinner  
party. Of course they hadn't thought to bring her along with them and Misty  
hadn't really cared. If it meant she could stay up late watching TV and eating  
popcorn without anybody disturbing her, then that was just fine. She needed the  
chance to relax anyway after a long day battling trainers in the gym.

Misty opened her mouth in a yawn and put her hand over her mouth, blinking  
sleepily. She was actually starting to feel quite tired so it was probably about  
time she went to bed and got a good night's sleep. Tomorrow could be another  
busy day for all she knew. Sometimes trainers would be crowding the gym,  
desperate to get Cascade Badges, or there would be so few of them. It was never  
certain.

The young girl left the room, turning off the light behind her and walked  
through the hallway toward the stairs. Her footsteps sounded ominously loud in  
the silence and she mentally chided herself, trying to shake off the disturbed  
feeling. It was silly to feel nervous just because she was all alone at home. It  
wasn't like there was anybody else in the building. It was just her, all on her  
own. Misty hurried up the stairs toward her bedroom, wondering why she was  
feeling like this. It certainly was not the first time that her sisters had left  
her alone at night so she had no idea why she would be scared. Still, there was  
the feeling that something wasn't right. A quiet little voice at the back of her  
head was telling her that she was in grave danger and she needed to get out of  
there. Of course, she ignored the quiet little voice as she opened her door and  
closed it behind her, flicking on the light.

Misty rubbed her eyes and walked over to her dressing table, looking into the  
wide mirror before her as she reached up to undo her side ponytail. Just then,  
she noticed a strange shadow behind her. Wait, that wasn't a shadow after all.  
It looked more like the silhouette of a human, cloaked in black, and he was  
standing right there in her room. Misty lowered her hands and slowly blinked,  
hoping that this was just some strange illusion. Maybe she had stayed up too  
late and she was seeing things. Then the shape suddenly started moving toward  
her.

Most girls would have immediately performed the clich餠action of screaming  
in terror at the sight of a stranger in their bedroom. However, Misty was not  
that type of girl. Yes, she was afraid, but she was definitely no helpless  
damsel. Misty leaped up from her chair and leaped at the stranger, aiming her  
foot in what she hoped would be a powerful kick. She didn't even have her own  
Pokémon with her as they were all downstairs so the only option was to fight him  
off and then run downstairs to get them.

The stranger saw it coming and caught her foot, yanking it and sending her  
crashing to the floor. Misty leaped up again, producing her hammer out of that  
strange place known as hammerspace and swung it toward his skull. This  
unexpected action caught the stranger off guard and they staggered, momentarily  
stunned by the blow. However, they weren't yet down and quickly reached into the  
pocket of their cloak, pulling out a chloroform soaked rag and pressing it  
across Misty's face. With the other arm, they seized her and held her tightly.

Misty furiously struggled, inhaling the sickeningly sweet smell that forced  
its way into her nose and mouth. She tried to speak but all she made was a  
muffled sound. Now she was starting to feel light headed and so very sleepy. All  
she really wanted to do was fall asleep and thus she did, closing her eyes and  
sagging against the chest of the person who was kidnapping her. She didn't even  
stir as she was pulled out of her room and escorted away from home. Daisy,  
Violet and Lily continued to party hard through the night, content in the  
knowledge that Social Services did not even exist and nobody would be asking  
them why they had left their ten year old sister all alone at night for someone  
to come and kidnap her.

* * *

The very next day, a Pokémon contest was happening in Olivine City, Johto.  
Sukizo and Contesta had yet again hopped to another region to participate in yet  
another contest with no explanation of how they were able to judge in every  
contest in every city in every region. There were rumours that they actually had  
genetic clones, like their fellow judges, the Nurse Joys, and the Officer  
Jennies, but so far these rumours had not been confirmed and this strange matter  
was not the most important thing happening right now anyway.

What was really important was the fact that they were currently in the final  
round of the contest and the timer was steadily ticking away, the seconds  
dropping as the battle raged on. The judges, the unknown emcee who probably  
looked just like Vivian, Lillian and Marian, and the audience watched on in  
rapture, eager to see which one of the two co-ordinators would be the one to  
take home the Olivine City ribbon. Would it be the boy with the bright green  
hair who had a profound love of flipping it or would it be the girl facing  
against him with a determined look on her face?

The young brunette, easily recognisable by the green bandanna atop her head,  
slowly clenched her fists and her sapphire eyes narrowed as she started to think  
of her next move. There was no time to waste with the timer getting so low and  
she quickly had to act. Her Glaceon was waiting for its next order, eyes locked  
firmly on its opponent, the Roserade belonging to Drew, who just so happened to  
be one of her long time rivals.

A screen hung suspended over the booth where the three judges sat, displaying  
May and Drew's pictures with two bars beneath that told everybody the score so  
far. The clock between the bars also told everybody how little time was  
remaining before the battle would automatically end. At the moment, the yellow  
bar beneath May's picture was noticeably shorter than the one below Drew's and  
that obviously meant that Drew had more points than May at this time. However,  
May was not about to let that get her down. In a second, she would be turning  
this battle on its head and winning that ribbon no matter what. All she had to  
do was win this then she would have five ribbons and qualify for the Grand  
Festival. Drew just so happened to have the same number of ribbons as her and  
was just as determined to win this.

May frowned slightly and gritted her teeth together, looking just a little  
nervous as she waited for Drew to call out a command to Roserade. She had been  
on a losing streak until the contest in Cianwood City, where she finally got her  
fourth ribbon. It had been a nice consolation after losing in the Wallace Cup  
all the way over in the Sinnoh region and May had no desire to lose again.  
Instinctively, she reached into her pocket and wrapped her hand around the half  
ribbon lying there. She took a deep breath as she felt the hard metal pressing  
into her skin. It was one half of the Terracotta Ribbon that she had won along  
with Ash so long ago.

When she thought of Ash's smiling face and remembered his words that had given  
her so much confidence in the past, May felt her nerves being calmed and she let  
out a relaxed sigh, feeling just a bit better. The ribbon helped her to remember  
the encouragement Ash had always used to give her and it had saved her on  
previous occasions. It was her own good luck charm. May nodded her head  
slightly, her mouth spreading in a smile. Of course she couldn't lose now, she  
had to win this contest and finally get enough ribbons to be able to enter the  
Grand Festival.

Drew had been standing still for a second, smiling in an almost smug manner with  
his eyes closed. The only movement he had made was to reach up and flip his hair  
sideways like he always did. He seemed confident enough in the belief that he  
would be winning this contest and showed no fear of losing whatsoever. Drew  
suddenly opened his eyes, looking at Roserade with a fierce expression. "Okay,  
Roserade, use your Petal Dance attack now!"

On his command, the tall and lithe Bouquet Pokémon did a sharp twirl and called  
out its name. As it spun rapidly, a flurry of pink petals flew out and hurtled  
through the air toward Glaceon.

"Glaceon, use your Ice Beam!" May commanded, pointing at the petals. "Freeze  
those petals!"

Glaceon opened its mouth up wide, a round sphere of ice forming within. It shot  
out in a long beam that covered all the petals, freezing them in their track.  
Drew watched on, raising an eyebrow in curiosity as if wondering what May could  
possibly be planning to do next.

"Now repeatedly break it up with Iron Tail!" May called out and pointed, her  
eyes narrowing in determination. With some luck, she would end up knocking some  
points off Drew and hopefully end up with more points than him. She needed to  
win this contest then the struggle would be over. The Grand Festival would be  
all that remained and she could relax a little until then.

Glaceon ran forward as fast as it could and leaped into the air, spinning  
rapidly with its tail glowing white. It cut into the frozen beam and sent ice  
particles scattering into the air, the petals still embedded within. Glaceon  
then hit them with one final swipe of its tail and the frozen petals rained  
down, accompanied by sparkling shards of ice. The Fresh Snow Pokémon landed on  
the floor and stood still, surrounded by the falling fragments.

May and Drew both glanced up at the screen to see Drew's yellow bar move down a  
notch. Now they were just about equal in terms of points. The green-haired boy  
let out a chuckle. "Using my moves against me isn't going to be enough to win,"  
he said softly, looking at May with a serene expression. "It's time to finish  
this. Roserade, use Solarbeam now!"

May calmly waited as Roserade began to charge up its Solarbeam. "This is the  
first time you've battled my Glaceon and it's learned a few tricks since it  
evolved from an Eevee," she said. Drew looked slightly put out, wondering what  
she could possibly be waiting for. When it looked like Roserade was about to  
release its attack, she called out again. "Glaceon, Mirror Coat!"

Roserade released a shining beam of pure energy that surged toward Glaceon. At  
the same time, Glaceon's entire body gleamed with a substance that looked like  
glowing ice. The Solarbeam hit it straight on, but it held its ground and  
struggled to withstand the attack. The judges and the audience watched on in  
surprise as the Solarbeam was repelled and went flying back toward Roserade.

"Roserade!" Drew exclaimed in shock as he watched his Pokémon be engulfed by its  
own attack. However, Roserade was barely harmed by the attack and struggled back  
to its feet, hardly seeming bothered after its own attack had rebounded on it.  
His bar on the points screen moved down again only slightly. The co-ordinator  
was ready to give Roserade another command when the timer suddenly reached zero.

"And with a thrilling conclusion, the contest has come to an end!" the emcee  
declared, smiling jovially as she looked toward the camera. "Who is the winner  
of the contest?" The camera moved up toward the screen displaying the  
co-ordinators' individual score bars. The picture of May then took up half the  
screen and the word 'Winner' appeared beneath. "The victory goes to May from  
Petalburg City!"

May stared at the screen for a second, her eyes wide in shock as she slowly took  
it in. She had beaten Drew and managed to win the contest. Now she would be  
getting her fifth ribbon and she could enter the Grand Festival. "Alright!" she  
exclaimed happily, running over to hug her Pokémon. "Way to go, Glaceon, you did  
it!"

Drew calmly watched May and Glaceon, smiling slightly. He then reached up and  
brushed back his green bangs, making a faint 'hmph' sound. "Your fifth ribbon  
now, isn't it? Looks like I won't have to worry about facing you in my next  
contest. Of course, I shall definitely be facing you in the Grand Festival."  
Drew walked over to Roserade, who was gazing at the floor with a disappointed  
expression and patted it gently. "Good job, Roserade. We came close to winning  
there." He held out its Poké Ball, recalling it in a flash of red light.

May got to her feet and smiled as she looked at Drew. "You really did come  
close to beating me," she admitted. "For a moment there, I was afraid I might  
actually lose." Inside, she was almost bursting with happiness and excitement at  
her accomplishment. After the long struggle through Johto, trying to get enough  
ribbons, and the loss in Sinnoh on top of that, it was almost unbelievable to  
think that she had just won her final ribbon.

"I will see you at the Grand Festival." Drew turned away and walked off the  
stage, raising a hand over his head in farewell. May watched him leave then  
turned around to face the emcee who was now holding out a box that contained the  
ribbon of Olivine City. She excitedly took it and gazed at it reverently, her  
eyes shining with happiness.

"I got the Olivine City ribbon!" May exclaimed, doing a twirl in the air and  
posing while holding it out, winking and smiling. Glaceon leaped into the air  
happily, sharing in her triumph. The stadium was filled with the sound of the  
audience clapping and cheering for her.

Afterwards, May walked back to the Olivine City Pokémon Center. She handed  
over Glaceon to Nurse Joy so that the Pokémon could rest and recover after the  
tiring contest battle then went to her room. As she sat on her bed, she took out  
her orange badge case and opened it up. May placed her fifth ribbon in the final  
slot and looked at all her ribbons together with a smile of satisfaction. Now  
that she was ready for the Grand Festival, she could relax and do as she wished  
before the big event itself.

The Johto Grand Festival was not happening for a while. It would be taking place  
two months later in Goldenrod City, which meant she had plenty of free time. May  
fell back onto the bed and spread out her arms, gazing thoughtfully up at the  
ceiling. She already had a good idea of what it was she wanted to do in the  
meantime. May reached into her pocket and took out the Terracotta Ribbon,  
holding it up before her eyes.

"I'll go visit Sinnoh again," May said decisively, clasping her fingers tightly  
around the ribbon. The last time she had been there, her sole reason for doing  
so was to enter the Wallace Cup. She had made it all the way to the final round,  
only to be narrowly beaten by Dawn, the girl who was travelling with Ash and  
Brock through Sinnoh. Like May, Dawn was also a co-ordinator and they had become  
fast friends so soon after meeting each other.

This time, her reason for wanting to visit Sinnoh was different. She wanted to  
see Ash again. With each day that passed, May felt herself missing him even more  
and longed for the days when they travelled together. She had decided to go to  
Johto when the journey through Kanto was over, but sometimes she wondered if she  
had even made the right choice in the first place. Now that she had two months  
to do whatever she wished, it was the perfect opportunity to go to Sinnoh and  
meet up with Ash, Brock and Dawn again.

* * *

The wind gusted hard, blowing through the trees and grass, yet it did nothing  
to deter the group of young Pokémon trainers standing in the middle of the open  
field. A blue haired girl wearing a white hat and a black and pink mini dress  
and a tall male with squinted eyes were watching on as the other two, a  
dark-haired boy sporting a red baseball cap and a slightly older boy with purple  
hair and a stony gaze, prepared to participate in a battle.

It was simply one of those times again. Ash, Dawn and Brock had been walking  
along the route toward their next destination when they encountered Ash's rival  
in Sinnoh, an aloof Pokémon trainer who went by the name of Paul. Ash and Paul  
had proceeded to get into a fairly heated argument and eventually the argument  
had led to a battle between the two. The rules were simple enough, they would  
each use three Pokémon and whoever had two Pokémon knocked out would lose the  
battle.

Ash looked narrowly at Paul, thinking of which Pokémon he would be using first.  
He was determined to win this battle. Out of all their previous battles, they  
had drawn twice and Ash had lost twice. The trainer from Pallet Town was  
painfully aware of that fact, knowing he hadn't won a single battle against his  
rival yet, but he was going to change that. He would definitely win this battle.  
If he was ever going to become a Pokémon Master, then he had to start winning  
his battles more often.

"Pikachu, I choose you!" Ash looked at the yellow electric mouse Pokémon  
standing behind him. Pikachu nodded and ran forward, hunching over as he  
prepared to battle his opponent, whom Paul had yet to send out. "Alright, we're  
definitely going to win this battle," Ash added confidently, raising a fist and  
smiling.

"Don't get so cocky," Paul said coldly, throwing a Poké Ball into the air. It  
opened up and a flash of white light poured out, hitting the ground and taking  
the form of Weavile. The feline like weasel Pokémon raised its shining claws and  
smiled, displaying its teeth. Now the battle could get started.

"Pikachu, use Quick Attack!" Ash commanded. Pikachu started running toward  
Weavile as fast as it could.

Paul was fast enough to issue an order before the attack could even hit. "Dodge  
it and use Ice Shard!" On his command, Weavile jumped into the air, narrowly  
avoiding Pikachu, and formed a ball of ice in its paw which it threw toward  
Pikachu.

"Dodge it!" Ash shouted. Pikachu darted away as the ice shard hit the ground  
behind him. "Now hit Weavile with Thunderbolt!" he added. Pikachu charged up  
electricity and let out a large bolt of electricity that shot forward and struck  
Weavile head on. The weasel Pokémon dropped to the ground, twitching as sparks  
danced off its body.

"Don't let that stop you, Weavile," Paul said in a calm voice with just a hint  
of harshness below the surface. "Hurry up and hit it with Ice Beam." Weavile  
opened its mouth wide, a sphere of ice forming that shot out and aimed toward  
Pikachu in a long beam of shining ice.

"Use Volt Tackle!" Ash exclaimed.

Dawn watched on, seeming only mildly fascinated by the battle unfolding  
before her and Brock. The same scenario kind of tended to get tiring after a  
while, but Ash versus Paul was rarely ever boring. At least Brock wasn't  
providing one of his commentaries today. In fact, he was being strangely quiet,  
she realised, looking at him with a questioning gaze. Had he grown tired of  
providing commentary during a battle?

"It seems like everyone has a Pokémon with Ice Beam except Ash himself," Brock  
said suddenly, startling Dawn a little. "Not counting his Oaked ones, that is.  
Isn't that strange? Oh, that's right, I don't have a Pokémon with Ice Beam  
either, but it's not like I use them for battle very often." As a Pokémon  
Breeder, he had always been infamous for neglecting his Pokémon, who were lucky  
to ever see the light of day. However, this seemed to have changed a little with  
the start of the journey in Sinnoh. Croagunk was always happy to pop out of its  
Poké Ball once in a while, especially when his trainer was getting a little  
flirty with older women.

"I really do love to have my Buneary use Ice Beam especially in the appeal  
rounds of contests," Dawn said cheerfully, as if it was something to be proud  
of. "But it doesn't really matter anyway because I only ever seem to use my  
precious Piplup." The little penguin, otherwise known as the forced mascot or  
Pikachu wannabe, stood next to her. It looked up and said its name happily.  
Piplup was rarely ever inside its Poké Ball these days, because it desperately  
wanted to be like Pikachu, who never went into his Poké Ball, even in a life or  
death situation.

Meanwhile, the Ice Beam missed and Volt Tackle hit. Paul then ordered Weavile to  
use Blizzard, which strangely managed to hurt Pikachu a lot despite the fact he  
had once beaten a Regice after bursting out of a giant block of ice. Ash tried  
to save the situation by calling for another Thunderbolt, but a swift Ice Shard  
followed up by Ice Beam managed to put Pikachu out of commission.

"Good try, Pikachu," Ash said, handing Pikachu over to Brock to hold. It  
could have been worse anyway, Pikachu could have almost lost to a Magikarp  
again. Losing to one of Paul's Pokémon was a lot more believable. "Looks like  
you win the first round, Paul."

"Thanks for telling me, I wouldn't have realised," Paul said with biting  
sarcasm, recalling Weavile. Ash clenched his fists and gave him an angry look.  
He was still feeling a little irate toward his rather irksome rival. "Send out  
your next Pokémon."

"You don't have to tell me!" Ash snapped, throwing a Poké Ball. "Alright, I  
choose you, Buizel!" A large, orange weasel Pokémon appeared before him. This  
Pokémon was a favourite of his to use in gyms, it had already been in three of  
them so far. The thought of using a recently evolved, somewhat neglected giant  
scorpion bat in a gym battle had not yet occurred to him.

"The same pathetic Pokémon that lost in the Wallace Cup?" Paul sniffed in a  
dismissive manner. He knew this because he had seen it happen on television and  
had totally not been stalking Ash, not at all. "This should be easy. Attack,  
Magmar." He sent out the fire-type Pokémon and it gazed at Buizel, eager to do  
battle.

"Huh?" Dawn raised an eyebrow, looking confused. "Brock, Magmar is a fire  
type Pokémon, right?" She was pretty sure it was, but maybe her brain was  
playing tricks on her and she could ask Brock for reassurance. After all, Brock  
somehow knew everything.

"Correct," Brock replied. "It's strange that he would send out Magmar against  
Buizel, Buizel being a water type. Water is super effective against fire. I  
suppose he's not worried about the type advantage."

"What is this?" Ash shouted, perplexed by the fact Paul had sent out a fire type  
against his water type. "Why would you deliberately go and use a Pokémon with a  
type disadvantage?" He paused. "Could it be that you aren't taking Buizel  
seriously?"

"Maybe." Paul had his arms folded and eyes closed, looking perfectly calm. "This  
should be an easy battle. Magmar, use Flamethrower."

"What... I'll show you!" Ash yelled. "Buizel, use Aqua Jet!"

The fierce battle raged on for the next two minutes, Magmar hitting Buizel  
with numerous fire type attacks as well as a few punches. Buizel got slightly  
burned as a result of the powerful fire attacks, but eventually its water  
attacks were too much for Magmar and it fell over in a faint.

"Wow, a water type beat a fire type," Dawn said dryly. "I'm so shocked. I didn't  
see that coming at all."

"It may seem crazy, but it actually can be possible for a Pokémon with a type  
disadvantage to overpower its opponent," Brock said. "There are other factors  
that play into a Pokémon's strength after all." He paused, thinking about  
something. "Do people ever find it annoying when I talk like this during a  
battle?"

"Yes," Dawn replied, looking at him wearily. Why she or anyone else hadn't yet  
lost their temper at Brock and yelled at him to shut up during a battle, she  
really had no idea. She was too nice to yell at Brock to shut up anyway.

"Hah, I won!" Ash exclaimed, grinning triumphantly. "Way to go, Buizel!"

"Don't get so excited about it," Paul said sharply. "Winning because of a type  
advantage is nothing to be proud of. Maybe I went easy on you because I wanted  
to see this battle play out a little longer."

"What...?" Ash's face fell in disappointment. "But that's not fair!"

"It's really simple. If you lost, there would be no point in continuing the  
battle because you would have clearly lost the whole battle," Paul continued  
speaking. "However, I am not going to go easy on you again. Don't think I'll  
make a habit of this." He recalled Magmar.

"That's fine! I don't want you to go easy on me!" Ash recalled Buizel into its  
Poké Ball, then threw a different one into the air. "I choose you, Chimchar!"

Chimchar appeared in front of Ash. It looked up at its previous trainer, who was  
staring at it with cold eyes, then horrifying memories of abuse and torture  
flooded through its mind. The fire monkey squeaked in fear and ran to hug Ash's  
leg for comfort. Clearly, it still had some issues concerning the person who had  
cruelly abandoned it after trying so hard to unlock the innate power within it.

"Now who's going easy on whom?" Paul asked derisively, making Ash even more  
pissed off. "Figures that a useless trainer would choose a useless Pokémon." He  
threw a Poké Ball out. "Go, Honchkrow!"

Another battle round raged on between Honchkrow and Chimchar. However, it seemed  
Honchkrow was too fast for Chimchar and its fire attacks couldn't take down the  
large bird. The few Flame Wheels it could get in during Sky Attack didn't seem  
to do a lot. Eventually, Chimchar was kneeling on the ground, looking heavily  
bruised and battered.

"Honchkrow, use Dark Pulse!" Paul ordered. "Finish this!"

"It's not over yet!" Ash exclaimed. "Chimchar, Flamethrower attack now!"

The two attacks exploded in mid-air. Chimchar was sent flying and crashed into  
the ground, while Honchkrow was simply knocked back a bit. Chimchar lay on the  
ground, shaking violently.

"It looks like it's over to me," Paul said with the faintest hint of a smirk. "Chimchar  
doesn't seem capable of fighting anymore."

"Chimchar, come on!" Ash exclaimed desperately. "You can do it!"

Suddenly, Chimchar's eyes started glowing red and it let out a very angry  
sounding roar, its expression appearing positively psychotic. It leaped into the  
air, fire blazing around its body as it proceeded to go completely insane and  
activate its Blaze ability.

"Oh, crap." Ash looked up at Chimchar in dismay. It was true that Chimchar  
was insanely powerful like this, though it was also a bit too violent, but he  
didn't want to rely on that in battle for some strange reason. "Chimchar! Hey,  
stop it now!" he yelled as Chimchar began screaming in rage and ran around like  
a crazy demon out for blood. Stuff burst into flames all around them.

"You are so pathetic, relying on something you said you wouldn't," Paul sniffed  
derisively, recalling Honchkrow. "I have no desire to get set on fire. I am so  
out of here." He walked away. Nobody felt like stopping him when they were too  
busy panicking and trying to put out the flames. Dawn had Piplup use Whirlpool  
and Ash sent out Buizel to help douse the flames.

"Hey, Ash, you might want to try recalling Chimchar?" Brock suggested  
tentatively as Chimchar picked up a tree with its sheer strength, caused it to  
burst into flames then threw it aside and set even more vegetation on fire in  
the process. "It's just going to keep setting things on fire."

Instead of simply recalling Chimchar, Ash did something completely reckless,  
which wasn't too different to what he had done last time Chimchar went crazy. He  
ran up and gave it a hug. Chimchar did not appreciate getting a hug in the least  
and chomped down on Ash's arm to make its feelings known.

"Ahh!" Ash screamed, running around and yelling in pain, waving his arms  
while Chimchar hung on with its teeth. "There's a crazy monkey on my arm! Get  
off, get off, get off!" he screamed. Eventually, he managed to shake Chimchar  
off and it ran off to burn down even more things. "Darn, that's the second time  
it's bitten me," Ash said grumpily, looking at the bloody bite marks on his arm.

"You could have simply not hugged it and recalled it into its Poké Ball like I  
suggested," Brock said in a very unsympathetic manner, walking over with a can  
of antiseptic and spraying it over the injury. "Why do you think that hugging a  
crazy, rabid creature out for blood is a good idea?"

"I dunno," Ash mumbled sheepishly as Brock bandaged the wound. "It worked last  
time."

Meanwhile, Dawn was chasing Chimchar with a fire extinguisher for some reason.  
That plan failed horribly when even the fire extinguisher burst into flames. The  
blue haired co-ordinator threw aside the burning fire extinguisher in dismay.  
"Is there no safe way to calm down a raging pyromaniac Pokémon?" she asked in  
frustration.

"Chimchar, return!" Ash held out the Poké Ball. Surprisingly, Chimchar was  
pulled back into the Poké Ball. He sighed in relief and put the Poké Ball away.  
"I sure hope it's calmed down by the time I let it out again. Now I need to  
figure out how to prevent it from going crazy."

The fires were all put out and things were calm once again. Ash, Dawn and  
Brock could continue their journey... that is, after one more interruption.  
Rarely did they ever have a peaceful day with the constant interruptions of  
dastardly Pokémon thieves. However, this interruption had to be the lamest of  
them all. All Team Rocket did was come down in their balloon right in front of  
the twerps and jump out of the basket. They loved to make useless appearances  
after all.

"Team Rocket!" Ash exclaimed, looking defensive. Obviously, Team Rocket was  
up to no good as usual.

"Is that a twerpish voice I hear?" a woman with long red hair asked.

"It's shrieking to me loud and clear," said a man with short, lavender hair. Or  
maybe it was blue. It was hard to tell exactly what colour his hair was supposed  
to be at times.

"On the wind."

"Past the stars."

"In your ear!" The Meowth standing between the two chimed in.

"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."

"Dashing hope, bringing fear in its place."

"A rose by any other name smells just as sweet."

"When everything's worse, our work is complete."

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"And Meowth, now dat's a name!"

"Putting the do-gooders in their place,"

"Team Rocket..."

"We're in your face!"

Jessie, James and Meowth looked expectantly at the twerps, then face faulted as  
they saw them sitting on a blanket and eating food from a picnic basket.

"Wow, you packed a great picnic, Brock," Ash said happily, biting in a  
sandwich and chewing vigorously with a satisfied expression on his face. He  
quickly swallowed before speaking again. "It was a good idea to prepare one at  
the Pokémon Center before we left."

"Yes, what a nice way to spend our lunchtime after such an exciting battle,"  
Dawn added, chomping on a rice ball. "It was a little scary at the end though.  
Ash, you really need to control that Chimchar better."

"Believe me, I want to," Ash said, ruefully looking at the bandage on his arm.  
"I don't understand though, why does Blaze make it go completely batshit insane?  
May's Blaziken didn't go crazy and try to destroy everything in sight when it  
used Blaze."

"I guess some Pokémon react differently to being in desperate situations," Brock  
guessed. "If there's a Pokémon shrink somewhere, you could take Chimchar to them  
and see if that helps."

"Hey!" Jessie yelled angrily, veins pulsing on her forehead as she glared at the  
twerps. "We are right here. Stop ignoring us!"

Ash, Dawn and Brock continued to eat and chatter among themselves. They were  
used to Team Rocket's tiring antics and felt they could ignore them without  
worry. It was the same old thing every day anyway, they would try to steal  
Pokémon, fail and end up being blasted off.

"Those twerps sure gotta lot of nerve, ignoring us and eating while we're trying  
to cause trouble," Meowth snapped, not looking impressed in the least. "We  
should try to get their attention and make them stop stuffing their faces."

"Hey, James, remember when you used to dress like a woman sometimes?" Jessie  
looked over at her team mate. "You ever considered doing it again?"

"I don't know, Jessie, it's been forever since I've last done it," James said  
despairingly. "I've forgotten how to be stunningly flamboyant and feminine.  
There's no point in putting on a dress when I can't even act flamingly  
homosexual in the process."

"Oh, what use are you?" Jessie yelled, angrily beating James to within an inch  
of his life even though he hadn't even done anything wrong. James curled up and  
cried, wondering why she was being so psychotically violent. Though, she tended  
to be psychotic and violent on a daily basis these days and probably needed to  
go and see a shrink as well.

"You two are so hopeless." Meowth sighed and crossed his arms, closing his  
eyes as he started thinking. "Fine, guess I'll just have to go and have a boss  
fantasy involving Shroomish and Barboach. Imagine Giovanni is working undercover  
and the role requires him to look like a woman, so what does he do? He will  
cross-dress of course, but he could also use two Shroomish and stuff them up his  
dress so that they would look like breasts."

A horrifying image of Giovanni clad in nothing but a pink dress with a blonde  
wig atop his head and two very suspicious looking bulges on his chest floated  
through Team Rocket's minds. It wasn't so horrifying to Meowth who was the one  
having the actual fantasy, but it sure was disturbing to Jessie and James.

"Or, if the boss gets a Barboach instead of Shroomish, then supposing that  
Giovanni is lonely and looking to attract women," Meowth continued. "Perhaps he  
would like them to think he is well-endowed, so he-"

"WE GET IT!" Jessie and James screamed, slamming their fists into Meowth's head  
and shutting the feline Pokémon up.

As for Brock, Dawn and Ash, their attention was no longer on the picnic.  
Brock's mouth was hanging open and he looked positively aghast at the cat's  
imagination. Ash and Dawn however just looked extremely confused, since they  
were so young and innocent after all.

"I don't understand," Ash said, looking completely nonplussed. "Why would  
someone need to put Shroomish up their dress? Do the Shroomish get cold or  
something?" Jessie, James, Meowth, Brock and Dawn looked at him in disbelief.  
They all understood the reason for Shroomish. However, Ash could be amazingly  
clueless at times.

"Forget about that!" Jessie said after an awkward silence. "We didn't come  
here to talk about ridiculous uses for Pokémon, we came to steal them!"

"Yeah." James nodded frantically. "So... uh... hand over your Pokémon or we'll  
do bad stuff."

"You wouldn't like us to do bad stuff, would you?" Meowth asked with a sly grin.

"That's it?" Dawn exclaimed. "You don't even have a plan, do you? You're just  
bored and trying to waste our time as usual, right?"

Jessie, James and Meowth meekly nodded, feeling a little ashamed now that their  
ruse had been discovered.

"This is ridiculous," Ash said in exasperation. "Pikachu, use Thunderbolt on  
them!"

Pikachu jumped into the air and released ten thousand volts of electricity that  
struck Team Rocket. They screamed, something exploded and then they went  
shooting off into the sky.

"Team Rocket's blasting off again!" they screamed, before disappearing with a  
twinkle of light.

Now that Team Rocket had been dealt with, Ash, Brock and Dawn continued on their  
journey to the next town, luckily without having any further interruptions along  
the way.


	2. Chapter 2

When May arrived at the Snowpoint City Pok魯n Center two days later, having  
taken the ship over from the port at Olivine City, she was quite surprised to  
see a familiar face upon walking into the building and it wasn't Nurse Joy.  
Needless to say, she got the shock of her life when she saw the young red haired  
girl sitting on a couch and staring despondently into space with her chin in her  
hands.

"Misty?" May walked over and sat on the sofa next to her, staring in  
confusion. Wasn't Misty supposed to be running her gym in Cerulean City, all the  
way over in Kanto? Just why was she even in Sinnoh in the first place and what  
was she doing just sitting around in the Pokémon Center looking depressed? So  
many questions whirled around in May's head that she found them hard to keep  
track of. Maybe Misty had some twin sister she was unaware of. No, that couldn't  
be it. That was such a ridiculous idea.

"Huh?" Misty sat up, looking startled as she recognised May. "Oh, hi, May. I  
didn't expect to actually see you here. I thought that you had gone to do the  
contests in Johto?" She was sure she had heard it from Tracey who had heard it  
from Professor Oak who had heard it from Ash. Ash never called her and she never  
called him for some reason. Then again, she had a good excuse. It was hard to  
contact someone who was always on the road and travelling from city to city.

"Well, yeah, but I've got all five ribbons now and the Grand Festival is a  
while away," May responded. "You know, I think you are an amazing person, Misty.  
You must be the only major female character on this show who hasn't been  
suckered in doing contests. Even that girl from that one special who was  
supposed to be a Pokémon Idol ended up turning into a co-ordinator."

"If the writers ever make me a co-ordinator, I will kill them all," Misty  
said in a soft voice, her mouth stretching into a sinister smile. May sat back  
and shivered, feeling rather creeped out by that smile. "I would rather stay a  
gym leader, thanks. Oh yeah, speaking of my gym, I sure hope that my sisters are  
managing to run it without me. Oh, who am I kidding?" She groaned and held her  
head in her hands. "I don't even know what I am doing in this region in the  
first place. What was it called again, Sinnoh? I should be doing my duties and  
running the gym, which is far more important than travelling, no thanks to those  
completely clueless sisters of mine!"

"Okay then." May smiled awkwardly. "But if you don't even want to be here in  
the first place, then what are you even doing here anyway?"

"Oh, I was kidnapped or something. I don't know. I think I've been drugged on  
occasion," Misty murmured, gazing into the distance with a faraway look. "I'm  
feeling pretty mellow right now, you know? Isn't that weird? I've been kidnapped  
and I'm just chilling out on this couch, not even trying to escape or ask anyone  
to help me. Asking people to help me would be really pathetic because the last  
thing I am is a damsel in distress!"

May flinched as she heard Misty's voice raise. She slowly blinked and turned  
her head away, wondering if now would be a good time to go and get some coffee.  
Maybe she should go and get an extra mug for Misty, who seemed to be needing it  
right now. "You're saying that you were kidnapped and brought here?" she asked,  
trying to get her head around this strange situation. What Misty was saying  
didn't even make much sense.

"Oh yeah, I had this really weird dream last night." Misty suddenly giggled  
and shook her head. "It was just crazy and I remember that you were mentioned in  
it, May." May looked at her with a surprised expression. "See, I was actually  
kidnapped in the dream by some weird group who was calling themselves AAML. I  
don't really know what AAML means though, do you?"

"So you were kidnapped in a dream and?" May prompted, not really caring about  
what the acronym meant. Then she wondered why she even cared what Misty had  
dreamed about in the first place. Weren't there more important things to be  
thinking about right now like the fact that Misty had apparently been kidnapped  
or how to find Ash and the others? "Do you think the dream has something to do  
with how you got here?"

"I don't think so," Misty said with a slightly peevish expression on her  
face. "I just dreamed some crazy group called AAML were the ones who kidnapped  
me but it probably wasn't even a group who brought me here anyway. I think it  
was just one person, whoever they were. I'm not sure where they are right now."

"Well, that's pretty strange." May raised an eyebrow. Now she was starting to  
wonder if Misty even had been kidnapped in the first place. Maybe that thing  
about being drugged on occasion wasn't a lie, but why would Misty be taking  
drugs in the first place? It sure didn't seem like something that she would do.  
"What if this AAML group really does exist? Who do you think they might be?"

"I really don't know." Misty massaged her temple and frowned. "Well, I do  
remember that they kept saying all this weird and crazy stuff, for instance how  
disappointed they were that Ash hadn't given me his hat when we separated after  
our Johto travels. Why would I even want to have his hat in the first place  
anyway? That's just silly. They also wanted me to go and confess true love to  
him and travel with him again or some such bullcrap. Seriously, just what the  
hell is up with that?"

"Huh, confess your love to Ash?" May squeaked in astonishment, her eyes  
widening from the shock. Half of her was now screaming that it couldn't possibly  
be true and the other half wanted Misty to get back to Cerulean City as soon as  
possible before anything could happen. "What, are you saying that you actually  
like..." She silently prayed that Misty's response wouldn't be affirmative.

"What? No!" Misty exclaimed, giving May a weird look as if she had just  
suggested that they take off their clothes and streak around the Pokémon Center.  
"Ash is just a very good friend and that is all he will ever be. Heck, there was  
that song I apparently sang about my feelings for Ash, but the truth is that it  
was really a load of bunk. It never even existed in Japan so it wasn't canon at  
all and a bunch of supposed clues about our feelings for each other didn't exist  
in Japan either. Darn those dub writers, putting in their own shipping hints."

"Eh?" May raised an eyebrow. Now it was her turn to give Misty a weird look.  
"What are you talking about?"

"And they are rice balls!" Misty exclaimed, slipping into rant mode. "Not  
donuts, éclairs, sandwiches or hamburgers. Rice balls!" Misty broke off when she  
saw the almost terrified expression on May's face and realised that she was  
scaring her. "Um, you know what? Never mind. Anyway, no, I don't like Ash in  
that way. If you think about it, I'm probably more likely to go with Tracey at  
this point. We spend a lot of time together and he gave me an egg as well."

"I see." May lay back against the cushions, feeling relieved. "You said that  
I was mentioned in the dream, didn't you?"

"Uh huh, that's right." Misty nodded, recalling it. "I believe that the AAML  
group said that you were an evil bitch and they wanted you dead. Crazy, huh?" A  
few seconds later, she heard the sound of a slamming door far in the distance  
and turned to look at the empty space on the sofa next to her. "Uh, May?" Misty  
groaned and slapped a palm against her face. "Man, I shouldn't have said that."  
It appeared May had been terrified at the thought of a crazy group wanting her  
dead and run for it. Who even knew if this AAML group actually existed anyway?  
Misty wasn't even sure that they did in the first place.

A mysterious robed figure suddenly came up from behind and loomed over her  
from the back of the sofa. Misty sensed the strange and threatening presence and  
looked up to see a large hood, though she couldn't see the face beneath, but she  
knew that this was her kidnapper. Before she could even scream or try to fight  
back, the mysterious kidnapper had whipped out his chloroform soaked rag and  
pressed it into her face until she passed out. For some odd reason, nobody in  
the Pokémon Center even noticed this or they didn't really care enough to try  
helping Misty.

* * *

It was quite a nice morning. The sky was almost clear with barely a trace of  
clouds and everything was quiet, save for the occasional sound of Pokémon nearby  
doing random stuff. In fact, it was the ideal opportunity for Team Rocket to be  
having a nice, quiet time doing nothing but sit in the middle of a flowery  
meadow. Flowers swayed gently in the breeze, the leaves on the nearby trees  
quietly rustled and the few wisps of clouds that could be seen moving across the  
sky at a leisurely pace. However, Team Rocket wasn't really here to waste their  
time doing nothing but sit in a meadow, they were actually trying to do  
something which basically involved attempting to plot some diabolical evil  
scheme that would involve stealing Pokémon. In actuality, Team Rocket's purpose  
was mostly to serve as filler and to waste time, which was exactly what they  
were doing now, which was why they were plotting evil in some random meadow full  
of flowers.

Meowth lay down on the grass, stretching his body and purring in satisfaction  
as he wriggled on the soft grass. It felt so nice to roll in but now wasn't  
really the time for that. "Hey, I think I might actually have a plan," the  
feline Pokémon suddenly spoke. "What if we went and bought dangerous weapons  
then used them to threaten the twerps into handing over their Pokémon? It's kind  
of crazy that we've never even thought about doing that until now, huh?"

Jessie and James were silent, comprehending what Meowth had just said as they  
stared at each other. Was the cat actually being serious? They then turned their  
stares on Meowth, now looking quite disturbed.

"No offence, Meowth, but are you on something?" James asked in disbelief.  
"There's no way we could do something so crazy. Seems more like something that  
the boss would do. Maybe there are plenty of other people in Team Rocket who  
would, but us?"

"Like we would be able to even get a hold of such things in the first place,"  
Jessie said derisively. "I sure wouldn't mind having a bazooka though." James  
and Meowth both suddenly looked nervous at the thought of Jessie wielding a  
bazooka.

"Scratch what I said, there's no way I'd want to see you hoisting a gun."  
Meowth sat up and crossed his front legs, looking thoughtful. "So, weapons are  
definitely out, I guess, even though we've used stuff like actual rockets and  
bombs in the past. Now explosives are pretty fun actually. We should make some  
more next time we got money."

"I'd rather use the money to buy food," James moaned, rubbing his tummy and  
looking despondent. "I haven't eaten anything since those cookies we shared with  
each other last night."

"We have got to figure out something to do otherwise our appearance is going  
to be completely pointless." Meowth frowned intently. "Oh, hey, I know. Why  
don't we just stalk the twerps over to the next town and then think of something  
to do over there?"

"That's all you can think of?" Jessie made a disgusted noise. "For a moment  
there, I thought you might actually be about to come up with a good idea.  
Sometimes I wonder why we even listen to you." She stood up, along with James  
and Meowth. "Fine, let's go find them then."

"We are going to have to set up a new balloon as well," James reminded them  
as they started walking out of the meadow. "Since Pikachu fried the last one.  
Otherwise we'll have a hard time stalking the twerps in the first place anyway."

"Sometimes I wonder why we're living like this," Meowth muttered tiredly.  
Jessie and James murmured in agreement.

Team Rocket left the meadow far behind them and were soon hard at work  
building a brand new balloon so that they could follow the twerps yet again and  
make another useless appearance that contributed absolutely nothing to the  
story. The twerps themselves had just arrived at their next destination, a small  
and uninteresting little town that went by the name of Filler Town.

"Eh?" Dawn stared at the sign in disbelief, frowning slightly. "I wonder what  
kind of a name Filler Town is supposed to be. That's just plain weird, isn't it,  
Piplup?"

"Piplup, pip," said the penguin on her head. As usual, it had no reason to be  
out of its Poké Ball, but that was just fine with Dawn who didn't even find  
carrying a 5.2 kg penguin on her head troublesome. Then again, Ash had been  
known to easily carry around a 49.5kg hippo on his shoulders, so Piplup probably  
felt as light as a feather to her anyway.

"Help me!" A generic looking boy who looked a lot like some frequently occurring  
background character ran up to them, tears pooling up in his eyes. A Luxio was  
scampering behind him. He came to a stop and sniffled, wiping his runny nose  
with a fist. "Please, you have to help me! A dingo ran off with my Luxio's  
baby!"

"Huh, a dingo?" Ash repeated, raising an eyebrow in confusion. He wasn't sure  
he had ever heard that word before. "Is that a new Pokémon?"

"Oops, did I say a dingo?" The boy let out a small, awkward laugh and looked  
around nervously, a bead of sweat appearing on his forehead. "Actually, I meant,  
um... it was a Manectric. Please, you have to help save Shinx!"

"Aw, man, I wanted to go off and flirt with pretty girls while we were here,"  
Brock sighed, not even bothering to try and conceal his obvious disappointment.  
"I guess it looks like we're going to be assisting some Character of the Day  
today and we won't be parting ways until we're waving goodbye to them at  
sunset."

"I know." Dawn hung her head, also feeling disappointed. "I was hoping to do  
some shopping too."

"Come on, guys, we can't just ignore the Character of the Day!" Ash exclaimed,  
looking at them with a stern expression. "We have to put our lives on hold and  
help out people we have never even met before when the occasion calls for it. No  
exceptions."

Since assisting the Character of the Day was more important than doing anything  
else, Ash, Dawn and Brock went off with the Character of the Day, who would  
conveniently remain known as the Character of the Day, and searched the town for  
Shinx. Eventually, they found a squad of police along with an Officer Jenny  
standing over something and taking pictures of it. Whatever it was, they  
couldn't quite tell.

"Officer Jenny!" Brock's eyes turned into hearts and he clasped his hands  
happily, drooling at the sight of the blue haired female police officer.

"Excuse me, Officer Jenny, what's going on here?" Ash asked curiously, unable to  
resist poking his nose into this strange mystery before him.

"Well, what we have here looks like the mutilated remains of a Shinx," Officer  
Jenny replied, turning to face him with a deadly serious expression. "Obviously,  
a terrible crime has been perpetrated here and we mean to find the one  
responsible for this."

"Shinx? Did you say Shinx?" The Character of the Day stepped forward, looking  
horrified.

"Oh, do you know anything about a Shinx?" Officer Jenny turned and gave him a  
very suspicious look.

"Shinx is my Luxio's baby!" The Character of the Day looked close to tears  
again. "It was dragged off by an Electrike!"

"I thought he said Manectric?" Brock muttered under his breath.

"I see." Officer Jenny frowned and looked at her men. "Well, it looks like we've  
found the criminals responsible for the killing of this poor Shinx. Arrest the  
Character of the Day and his Luxio at once!"

Despite how strange it seemed to actually put a Pokémon in jail, the police  
immediately clapped chains on the Character of the Day and his Luxio and dragged  
them away, despite the Character of the Day's vehement protests that it had been  
an Electrode (obviously, he was very confused) and he and Luxio had committed no  
such crime. A few people stayed behind to bag the remains then left.

"What a terrible crime," Officer Jenny said, looking grim. "I can't understand  
why someone would go so far as to harm a Pokémon, let alone do this."

"I don't understand either!" Ash exclaimed. "Why did you arrest him?"

"Oh, come on." Officer Jenny folded her arms. "You don't seriously believe that  
story about it being dragged off and eaten by a wild Pokémon, do you?"

"Let it go, Ash," Dawn said with a sigh. "She wouldn't be Officer Jenny if she  
wasn't incompetent and clueless."

"Officer Jenny is most definitely not incompetent and clueless!" Brock argued,  
grabbing Officer Jenny's hands and giving her an adoring look. "She is beautiful  
and intelligent, and I can honestly say that she is one of the most beautiful  
Officer Jennys I have ever seen- AUGH!"

Croagunk had popped out of its Poké Ball and slammed a glowing purple hand into  
Brock's back, effectively delivering a harsh Poison Jab to its unfortunate  
trainer. Brock collapsed with a moan and Croagunk chuckled before dragging him  
away. Ash and Dawn silently watched the whole thing, not at all surprised by the  
way things had turned out. It happened on a regular basis after all.

Since there was nothing else to do in this town, Ash, Dawn and Brock went  
shopping, then went to the Pokémon Center and sat on their asses, doing  
absolutely nothing. Then they went to bed. Team Rocket, meanwhile, was staking  
out the town and plotting diabolical stuff as they usually did.

Lately, the people of Filler Town had been suffering from strange and  
disturbing nightmares. What they did not know was that these nightmares were the  
cause of a random Darkrai, which was there simply because it was and did not  
think its status as a Legendary Pokémon a good reason not to be. It decided to  
have some fun with a certain trio of Pokémon trainers who just happened to be  
spending the night at the Pokémon Center.

Ash walked along the thin platform suspended over a large abyss, looking over  
the edge nervously. He sure didn't want to end up falling down and getting hurt.  
Pikachu was sitting on his shoulder and Brock and Dawn were nowhere around.

"Where am I anyway?" Ash frowned. "I don't recognise this place at all." He  
heard footsteps coming toward him and saw a shadowy figure come out of the  
darkness. The strange figure was that of a tall man wearing a plastic helmet on  
his head and an orange suit. "Who are you?"

"My name is Giovanni and I am the leader of Team Rocket," replied the man with a  
grin.

Ash regarded him with confusion. He had no idea why the leader of Team Rocket  
would be in a place like this. How could he even be dreaming about someone he  
didn't think he had met? After all, the one time they had come close to meeting,  
there hadn't been time for introductions. He was too busy running off with  
Mewtwo for that.

"Your mother never told you what happened to your father, did she?" Giovanni  
enquired, watching him carefully.

"She told me enough!" Ash exclaimed, suddenly seized by fury. "She told me that  
you killed him!" Ash then stopped and shook his head, surprised by his sudden  
outburst. Why had he gone and suddenly said something like that? It had been a  
very random thing to say and probably not even true for that matter. Ash was  
pretty sure his mother had never told him his father was killed. Wasn't his  
father alive? Who was his father anyway?

"No," Giovanni said in a deep, breathy voice. "I am your father."

"No..." Ash took a step back, his face turning pale with shock. "That's not  
true... that's impossible!"

"Search your feelings." Giovanni's smirk widened and his eyes glinted. "You know  
it to be true."

"Nooooooooooooo!" Ash screamed in a horrified voice, clutching his head and  
falling to his knees. His eyes filled up with horrified tears. "Noooooooooooo!"  
he screamed again, as Giovanni threw back his head and burst into maniacal  
laughter.

"Pikapi?" Pikachu jumped down and nudged him in concern, not quite understanding  
why Ash was so freaked out all of a sudden. "Pikachu pi?"

"Now we must engage in a duel," Giovanni declared. "For absolutely no reason at  
all." He then pulled a lightsaber out of hammerspace and activated it. A  
shimmering orange blade appeared.

"Eh, a duel?" Ash snapped out of his shock and back to reality, spurred on by  
the thought of having a Pokémon battle. He quickly jumped to his feet, looking  
determined. So what if some random evil guy in charge of an evil syndicate he  
loathed with a weird plastic helmet on his head and an orange suit was his  
father? Ash Ketchum refused to let something so trivial affect him now! Pokémon  
battles were far more important than dealing with shocking, life changing  
revelations!

Ash was just reaching for a Poké Ball when Giovanni gave him an odd stare. "Er,  
just what do you think you are doing?"

"Choosing a Pokémon," Ash replied, giving him a blank look. "I thought you said  
you wanted to have a Pokémon battle?"

"I said a duel, not a Pokémon battle!" Giovanni exclaimed in exasperation,  
waving his lightsaber around. "With lightsabers! Are you telling me you don't  
have one?"

"Eh, what's a lightsaber?" Ash arched an eyebrow and pointed at the lightsaber.  
"Is that what that is?"

Giovanni let out a long, deep sigh and shook his head slowly with a weary  
expression. How could his son possibly be so incompetent? He reached into a  
pocket, pulling out a deactivated lightsaber and tossed it to Ash who held it,  
staring at it in utter confusion.

"Um... I think this might be broken," Ash said uncertainly, shaking it. Why  
didn't it have a pretty shiny blade?

"Just turn it on!" Giovanni screamed in frustration. This was even worse than  
being in one of Meowth's stupid fantasies. Then again, this wasn't as  
embarrassing and humiliating.

"Oh, right... well, how do I do that anyway?" Ash muttered, turning the top of  
the hilt toward his face carelessly as he stared into the small hole where one  
end of the blade would be. As his hand fumbled with the hilt, his finger found  
the on switch. Unfortunately, the top of the hilt was still facing him. Giovanni  
stared in shock as the blade appeared, penetrating his forehead. Ash fell over  
onto his back with a stunned expression on his face, unable to do much else when  
a lightsaber had just pierced his brain.

"Pikapi!" Pikachu cried out in shock and frantically shook Ash's shoulder. His  
eyes became wet with tears as he tried to rouse his trainer.

"Oh, damn it!" Giovanni yelled. He threw a Poké Ball. "Come out, Deus Ex! That's  
short for Deus Ex Machina by the way, it's my name for my shiny Celebi."

A shiny Celebi was indeed now hovering in the air. Pikachu stared at it in  
disbelief, wondering how someone like Giovanni had managed to get a Celebi,  
especially a shiny one for that matter.

"Hey, you." Giovanni looked at Pikachu sharply. "Get that thing out of his head  
for me. He can't be revived with a sword sticking into his brain."

"Pi..." Pikachu managed to pull the blade out with some effort, grimacing in  
disgust. "Kachu."

"Deus Ex, revive him!" Giovanni commanded.

The shiny Celebi floated over Ash and did some random stuff. Ash's body glowed  
for a few seconds as his fatal wound healed itself. His chest moved as he took  
in a breath and he blinked, while exhaling deeply.

"What the..." Ash moaned as he sat up. "Did I just die?"

"Pikapi!" Pikachu grinned and hugged him, looking positively gleeful. Ash smiled  
and patted him.

"You know what?" Giovanni stared at Ash with narrowed eyes. "You are a flaming  
idiot. Now I want to get a paternity test to prove that you are not my son."

"Huh? Are you saying I might not be?" Ash asked, sounding confused. Giovanni had  
sounded pretty sure about it a moment ago. His attention was distracted by the  
shiny Celebi. "Hey, cool. A Celebi!"

"Maybe, maybe not," Giovanni replied with a shrug, recalling Deus Ex into its  
Poké Ball. "I had a thing with your mom once, but that's about it. Really, I  
just wanted to screw with your mind."

"That's not a very nice thing to do!" Ash exclaimed, standing up and holding  
Pikachu. "You're mean!"

"Anyway, I need your DNA," Giovanni said, suddenly brandishing some very sharp  
and scary looking scissors. "Can I have some of your hair?"

"No!" Ash burst out. Giovanni didn't seem to hear, as he started running at him.  
Ash screamed and jumped over the side of the platform, freaked out by a man in  
an orange suit with a plastic helmet running at him with sharp scissors.  
Unfortunately, he had forgotten about the long drop below.

"Oops," was all Ash said as he fell to his doom. Or rather, not quite. He  
screamed anyway. Then he landed safely on the ground.

Ash stood up, taking a look around in confusion. Everywhere, he could see  
mirrors suspended in the air and forming some kind of bizarre mirror fortress.  
He was not alone in the fortress, much to his surprise. Paul was standing next  
to him, gazing straight ahead. For some reason, Paul's eyes were bright red and  
looked like they were swimming with tadpoles.

Ash then followed Paul's line of sight with his gaze and found himself looking  
straight at the Pokémon Hunter, J who was standing in front of them. A shiver  
ran up his spine as he saw that she was aiming a pistol squarely at his  
forehead.

"I told you never to interfere again," J said in a menacing voice. "It's time to  
put an end to your constant meddling." She smiled coldly and squeezed the  
trigger. A loud bang ricocheted through the mirror fortress.

Ash instinctively screamed and ducked to the ground at the sound of the gunshot,  
shielding himself with his arms. A long silence followed, in which he eventually  
felt brave enough to look up and did so. He gasped as he saw that Paul was  
standing in front of him.

"Geez..." Paul muttered in an annoyed sounding voice. "All you ever do is get in  
the way."

"Paul! You...!" Ash exclaimed in a horrified voice, his eyes widening as he  
stared right at the growing crimson spot in the middle of Paul's back, right  
between the shoulder blades.

"What's with that face?" Paul asked, looking over his shoulder. "You moron..."

"Why?" Ash asked in disbelief, sitting up. 'You saved me...' he thought.

'How should I know...' Paul wondered, blood starting to drip from his mouth. "Pft..."  
he gasped out. "I hated you."

"But... but... why? Why me?" Ash spluttered in frustration, struggling to make  
sense of this bizarre situation. Had Paul seriously just risked his life to save  
him? The very thought of it was mind boggling. "I never asked for your help!" he  
shouted.

"I don't know. My body just moved on its own, idiot," Paul replied weakly,  
feeling himself grow faint. He toppled backwards, landing in Ash's arms. Ash  
took a sharp intake of breath and held him tightly, staring in shock at his pale  
face. "That man..." Paul murmured shakily. "My brother Reggie, I told myself I  
wouldn't die until I killed him. Don't die also." His last word was barely a  
whisper. With that, he became quiet and his eyes slid shut. Eventually, his  
breathing ceased.

J was hunched over, holding her shoulder and looking pained. "He landed a blow  
on me and without flinching, died to protect you. To protect a precious person,  
knowing it was a trap, he was able to still jump in. He is a trainer that  
deserves respect."

Ash resisted the urge to laugh incredulously at the thought of Paul deserving  
respect. Paul was an inconsiderate trainer who practically abused his Pokémon.  
Instead, he was supposed to go and get pissed off over the death of someone he  
had found himself wanting to just punch in the face so many times.

"Is this your first death of a friend?" J asked, staring intently at Ash. "This  
is the way of... well, okay, this isn't the way of any Pokémon profession to be  
honest," she admitted. "It wouldn't work if I said ninja anyway."

"Shut up," Ash hissed angrily, lowering his head so that the brim of his cap was  
covering his eyes. He gritted his teeth, his body shaking with fury. 'I hated  
you too,' he thought, pushing Paul's body aside in disgust. Ash then directed  
his thoughts at J, his fury increasing tenfold. 'I won't forgive you!'

Suddenly, a swirl of black demonic energy appeared around Ash's body. J blinked,  
looking at the demonic energy with a stupefied expression.

'I'll kill you!' Ash looked up at J with a ferocious expression. His irises were  
completely black and his gritted teeth looked rather sharp. In fact, he looked  
just like he did when he was possessed by the King of Pokélantis back in the  
Battle Frontier.

"This demonic energy... what is this?" J asked in bewilderment.

Meanwhile, it was rather hectic outside the mirror fortress as well. J's men  
were there by their vehicles, trying to beat the crap out of some old man who  
had tried to cheat J by luring her into a trap where the police would catch her.  
Somehow, they had figured it out and sworn to kill him. However, Dawn and Brock  
were there, protecting the wimpy old man and fighting the henchmen's many Crobat  
with their own Pokémon.

"Piplup, Whirlpool attack! Buneary, use Ice Beam!" Dawn did not think Ice Beam  
was an overused attack at all. "Swinub, since ice type attacks are obviously so  
awesome, use your Ice Shard. Ambipom, use your Double Hit. Pachirisu,  
Discharge!" All her Pokémon obeyed her orders, bringing down a few more useless  
Crobat.

"Croagunk, Brick Break!" Brock exclaimed. "Sudowoodo, Headbutt!" He wasn't using  
Happiny. With Pokémon like Crobat, Happiny's fearsome rock throwing skills were  
a little useless. Croagunk and Sudowood jumped into action, beating up a couple  
more Crobat.

The battle suddenly came to a halt and everyone looked up at the sound of a  
tremendous explosion. They saw a flurry of demonic energy appear, surging  
through the top of the mirror fortress and into the sky. The mirrors cracked and  
disappeared as the energy smashed into them. The henchmen were so shocked by  
what was happening, they cried for their mommies and ran away to their vehicles  
in fright. Brock and Dawn just stared, wondering just what was happening now.

At that moment, the Pyramid King, Brandon, the final Frontier Brain of the  
Battle Frontier, walked up with a Regigigas behind him. Nobody had noticed the  
Battle Pyramid was in the vicinity and it was a surprise to see Brandon appear  
out of nowhere, for Brock anyway. Dawn had no idea who he was.

"So my suspicions were right," Brandon murmured, looking at the fading pillar of  
demonic energy. It disappeared from sight and all they could see were two  
shadowy figures moving in the fog. "This is terrible. At the time I sealed the  
King of Pokélantis when its spirit was forced out of Ash's body, I apparently  
did not seal the whole thing."

"Uh, who are you?" Dawn asked. She turned her gaze to Regigigas, her mouth  
dropping. He even had a legendary Pokémon. She wasn't aware that he had other  
Regis in his possession, hence her shock.

"I don't understand, what do you mean that you didn't seal its entire spirit?"  
Brock enquired, looking thoroughly confused.

"A small part of the King's spirit was able to remain in Ash's body," Brandon  
explained. "Ash must have been able to suppress it this whole time, but it has  
been gaining strength while lying dormant inside him. Ash must have lost himself  
in his fury so now the King's spirit has completely awoken and been able to take  
over his body again."

"So, you mean that the spirit is split into two?" Brock raised an eyebrow. It  
just didn't seem possible to him.

"But that makes absolutely no sense," Dawn protested.

"I know." Brandon frowned, looking thoughtful. "I thought I would bring my  
Regigigas I got in Snowpoint City to defeat him in battle and try to free Ash  
somehow. I have to get that spirit out of him."

At that moment, the fog cleared and everyone could see the King of Pokélantis  
slugging the crap out of J. As she collapsed to the ground, bleeding heavily, he  
decided that he had had enough. Nobody noticed Paul lying dead nearby yet.

"Well, that was a lot of fun." The King laughed maniacally. "Now it's time to  
pursue my quest for world domination!"

"Hold it right there!" Brandon said sharply, walking up. Regigigas stomped along  
behind him. "I cannot allow you to do that!"

"Eh, you again?" The King gave him an angry stare. "Let me guess, you want to  
have another Pokémon battle to try and free this boy again?" Brandon nodded.  
"Fine, but I am not going to lose this time!"

Meanwhile, Ash was wondering why he was floating in some kind of dark void, with  
strange, red shapes shifting in the darkness. "Huh... this seems pretty  
familiar." Then he saw a window through which he was able to see Brandon and  
Regigigas, with Brock and Dawn standing nearby. "Oh, crap, don't tell me that I  
got possessed again. How did that happen? Oh, I have to choose a Pokémon?" He  
had the feeling it would be best to pick one of his useless Pokémon he didn't  
use to battle much since this was probably meant to be a battle to free himself  
after all. "Okay then. I choose you, Gliscor!"

"I choose you, Gliscor!" The King threw Gliscor's Poké Ball, sending out Gliscor.  
The large scorpion bat Pokémon was so happy to be used in battle, it turned  
around and landed on him in an attempt to give him a hug. "OW! What the fuzzy  
bunnies?" he yelled, as he was flattened by the heavy Pokémon.

Brandon and Regigigas stood still, waiting for something to actually happen.

"Gliscor, get out there!" ordered the King, standing up once he was free. "Now  
use your best attack... uh..."

'Sand Attack,' Ash thought, hoping that the King would fall for it. He didn't  
like making his own Pokémon lose, but what choice did he really have right now?

"Use Sand Attack!" The King laughed maniacally as Gliscor began blowing up sand  
toward Regigigas. "Your Pokémon is going to be defeated by the might of  
Gliscor's impressive Sand Attack, Pyramid King Brandon. I will defeat you and  
then I can go and achieve world domination!"

Brock and Dawn exchanged incredulous glances. Regigigas remained standing  
completely still. Brandon was just staring at the King and not doing anything.

"Um, why aren't you telling Regigigas to do anything?" Dawn asked.

"The reason Regigigas will not move is because its ability, Slow Start, means it  
will take forever before it can actually do anything." Brock once again  
demonstrated his remarkable ability to know anything for the sake of being able  
to provide a lengthy explanation during every battle.

"Well, this is certainly easier than I expected," the King said with a chuckle.  
"Keep on using Sand Attack, Gliscor!" Gliscor looked quite bewildered, but  
continued to do as the King asked anyway.

Eventually, Regigigas actually moved and seemed to be ready for battle at last.

"Regigigas, use Lock-On," Brandon ordered. A crosshair appeared on Gliscor's  
head.

"Well, that makes all the Sand Attacks completely useless," Brock said.

"Yeah, since Sand Attack is supposed to lower accuracy, right?" Dawn asked. "I  
wonder when the King is going to realise Sand Attack isn't actually doing much?"

"Regigigas, use Giga Impact now!" Brandon ordered. Gliscor was promptly blasted  
by the might of Giga Impact and sent crashing into the ground. It collapsed,  
eyes swirling as it passed out.

"Gliscor is no longer able to battle!" Brandon's referee, Samuel, had magically  
appeared out of nowhere. "The victory goes to Pyramid King Brandon!"

"Ugh... you may think you have won for now," the King said angrily, clenching a  
fist. "But know this, I will be back!" Ash suddenly returned to normal, blinking  
and looking around in confusion.

"Uh, what just happened?" Ash asked, looking at his fainted Pokémon. "Oh, yeah.  
Sorry about that, Gliscor." He chuckled awkwardly, recalling it.

"Well, drat. The King's spirit didn't come out of his body," Brandon said. "I'm  
not sure what else I can do."

Since the drama had now come to an end, everyone walked over to where the bodies  
were. J wasn't quite dead yet, but she looked pretty close to it.

Brandon gasped as he looked at Paul's face. "This boy here is the spitting image  
of me... I wonder."

His mind flashed back to over eleven years ago, when he lived in Veilstone  
City with his wife and son, Reggie. Except he had abandoned them when he wanted  
to become an archaeologist and study ruins. Eventually, he had become a Frontier  
Brain. "Could it be... my wife was pregnant when I left?"

"Eh?" Ash looked at him in confusion

"Huh?" Brock also looked confused for a second, before it clicked. "You don't  
have a son called Reggie, do you?" Brock asked. Brandon nodded, looking faintly  
surprised. "Well, he has an older brother whose name is Reggie."

"So, does that mean Brandon is the father of Reggie and Paul?" Dawn exclaimed.

"NO WAY!" Ash yelled, looking completely shocked. Somehow, he'd never realised  
how similar looking Paul was to Brandon.

Suddenly, Paul sat up and scared the living daylights out of everyone in doing  
so. Strangely enough, all the blood was gone.

"Paul! How are you even alive?" Ash exclaimed, unable to keep the disappointment  
out of his voice.

Paul lifted his shirt, displaying a bullet proof vest. "Bullet proof vest, duh."

"But... but... what about all that blood?" Ash asked. "What happened to it  
anyway?" How strange this was, he could have sworn there was a lot of blood  
before but now he couldn't see a single drop anywhere.

"The censors must have got to it," Brock guessed. "That still doesn't explain  
why it was there in the first place though."

"Weird." Dawn folded her arms, her brow furrowing. It didn't make any sense at  
all. Nothing was making any sense today.

"So your name is Paul?" Brandon knelt before him, gazing at his face intently.

Paul stared back, realising that this man seemed strangely familiar. He was sure  
he had seen his face before. Then he remembered, he had seen this man in  
photographs Reggie had shown him when talking about his father. "Are you my  
father?"

Brandon's eyes started shining with tears of happiness. "My son!" he burst out,  
throwing his arms around Paul.

"Father!" Paul hugged him back, tears streaming down his face.

Ash, Dawn and Brock stared at the duo with extremely disturbed expressions then  
decided to start walking away as fast as they could. Suddenly, Regigigas started  
to do the hustle for no reason and loud, pounding rock music emitted from its  
body. The trio stopped walking and turned around to look at Regigigas. Suddenly,  
they were all dancing the hustle. Brandon and Paul ceased their disturbing  
reunion act and danced along with everybody else.

Officer Jenny rode up on a motorbike, wondering why everyone was dancing the  
hustle. She shrugged, picked up J's half-dead body and rode away with her.

After about ten minutes of dancing had passed, Regigigas came to a stop and so  
did everybody else much to their relief. Dancing the hustle for ten minutes had  
been extremely tiring.

"Well then, let's go," Ash said, only for Paul to suddenly run up and grab his  
hands. Ash shivered as he saw that Paul was actually smiling, which was  
extremely creepy because it was coming from Paul of all people. "Hey, what do  
you think you are doing?"

"Ash, after the near death experience I just had, I have now realised the errors  
of my ways. You were right all along and to make up for it, I am going to go and  
catch over a hundred weak and pathetic Starly," Paul said seriously. "Now can we  
be best friends? Please, please, please?" His smile grew even wider and creepier  
and he suddenly had shiny puppy dog eyes.

Ash sat up in bed, screaming at the top of his lungs. He was also drenched in  
mass amounts of sweat. Pikachu was startled awake, looking up in surprise at his  
trainer. "Huh?" Ash blinked and looked around. "Oh, right. It was all just a  
dream." Somehow, he hadn't awoken Dawn or Brock with his screaming. "Man, that  
was disturbing." Ash lay back down and tried to go to sleep.

Brock awoke screaming five minutes later from a terrifying dream where Officer  
Jenny and Nurse Joy had been undressing in front of him, only for him to see  
that they had nasty surprises between the legs. Dawn awoke as well, having had a  
bad dream involving in losing all her contests and never making it to the Grand  
Festival. Darkrai had just found her too dull to give any particularly  
interesting nightmares to.

Somewhere outside, Darkrai floated away laughing evilly. It couldn't wait for  
the next night, where it would prey on the dreams of more unsuspecting people.


	3. A week had gone by

A week had gone by, which had been a particularly uninteresting week  
involving a series of filler plots involving various Characters of the Day who  
weren't even worth mentioning and a few scraps with Team Rocket who always got  
sent blasting off anyway. Ash, Brock and Dawn had now arrived at Canalave City  
and they were in for quite a surprise when they saw just who was waiting for  
them there.

"I figured that you guys would turn up here sooner or later," May said,  
walking up to them with a happy smile. "The gym leader was pretty sure he hadn't  
battled any Pok魯n trainers from Pallet Town yet, so obviously you were going  
to come here to get a badge. It's great to see you again, Ash."

"It's good to see you as well, May, but what are you here for?" Ash asked in  
confusion. Nobody ever stalked him to different regions for nothing at all, did  
they? Misty had that lame Togepi Festival excuse in Hoenn, May had the Wallace  
Cup in Sinnoh. He bet that when he went to his next region, Dawn would turn up  
with new clothes for some fancy contest as well.

"What, do I need an excuse?" May's face fell in disappointment. Ash could at  
least have seemed a little happier at her appearance. "Well, there's a contest  
happening here and I was just thinking I would have a revenge match against the  
girl who beat me in the Wallace Cup." She turned to Dawn and put on a big, fake  
smile. "I'm going to show you what I'm really made of, you lousy rookie  
co-ordinator."

"Oh, really? I would love the excuse to overuse Piplup some more," Dawn said  
happily, hugging her penguin. "I never seem to use any of my other Pokémon  
anymore. They just rot away in their Poké Balls. Every time I let them out, they  
want to throw a party. Speaking of contests, I managed to win one more ribbon  
since the Wallace Cup. Now I have three of them!"

"That's nice." May took out her ribbon case and showed off her ribbons. "I have  
five." Dawn stared at the ribbon case with a stunned expression. "Anyway, I was  
thinking I would hang around for a bit since the Grand Festival isn't happening  
any time soon. Are we going to get into any random adventures or what?" She  
looked at Brock and Ash expectantly.

"Well, if we wait around long enough, Team Rocket might appear and try to steal  
Pikachu for the ten billionth time," Ash replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Oh,  
I know, we could go to that place called Iron Island. There isn't much to do  
there, but it sounds like a great excuse to piss around and do nothing."

"Oh yeah, just like when we spent time on Dewford Island, supposedly training  
before your rematch against Brawly." Brock nodded thoughtfully. "Good times."

"Excuse me?" said a deep, menacing, male voice from behind them that demanded  
their complete and total attention. Ash, May, Brock and Dawn turned around to  
see a hooded figure standing there. He wasn't the only person there, as he was  
also holding a certain red haired girl by the arms. Strangely enough, she was  
wearing a long white dress. "I believe that you know this girl."

"She does look familiar," Ash said, frowning as he scrutinised her face and  
tried to remember where he had seen her before. Was she some Character of the  
Day that they had helped out at one point?

"What is the matter with you?" Brock exclaimed, as May gave Ash a disbelieving  
look. "That's Misty!"

"Oh... Misty..." Ash's face lit up with recognition. "Sorry, the dress kind of  
threw me off." He chuckled in embarrassment and rubbed the back of his head as  
Misty shot a vehement glare at him.

"Wait, wait," Dawn said in a hurried voice, waving her hands about. "Misty? As  
in the Misty you travelled with? The girl you had that weird looking lure based  
off?"

"Weird looking lure?" Misty shrieked, thrashing about in the hooded man's grip.  
"That was a masterpiece! There's nothing weird looking about it!"

"Oh, sorry. I thought Ash had made it," Dawn said with an awkward laugh. "I'm  
Dawn. Nice to meet you."

"Hello?" the hooded figure yelled. "I demand that you start paying attention to  
me because I am a very scary person and you will not like it if I get angry.  
Would you like me to get angry?"

"Sorry, Mr Creepy Man with a Hood," May said cheerfully. "Are you a friend of  
Misty's?"

"Misty is to be my future wife," said the creepy hooded man. "I have decided  
this for a long time. She radiates an intense aura of beauty that draws my soul  
to her like a moth to a flame. I could no longer take it, being apart from her.  
Every time I thought of her beauteous visage, my heart was filled with longing  
and I decided to finally do something about it. Now I will take Misty and have  
her to be mine for the rest of our lives, but first the obstacles must be dealt  
with."

"Don't listen to him!" Misty exclaimed, her face reddening. "This guy is  
absolutely crackers!"

"Just who are you anyway?" Ash asked. "I didn't even know that Misty had a  
boyfriend."

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" Misty screamed angrily. "He's just a kidnapper who's  
infatuated with me! I don't even know who the heck he is because he wears the  
hood all the time and won't even tell me!"

"Eh? Is he with those AAML people?" May asked in confusion. "Or did you really  
just dream that part?"

"What AAML people?" asked the hooded figure. "I just kidnapped her, gave her  
drugs and brought her over to Sinnoh. She was muttering a lot of weird stuff on  
the way though. I guess she just had some bizarre dreams."

"Oh... so it was all in my mind then?" Misty blinked. "Wow... I have a strange  
subconscious."

"Thank goodness. I'm so relieved," May said with a sigh. "I kept expecting some  
gang to come out of nowhere and suddenly shoot me or something."

"Okay, let me get this straight." Ash pointed at the hooded figure. "You  
kidnapped Misty?" The figure nodded. "Then came here to tell us?" He nodded  
again. "Okay, so why did you kidnap her anyway?"

"I just told you!" The hooded figure groaned in exasperation. "I am love with  
her and wish to make her my wife, but there are people standing in my way. I  
must eliminate them. Now," he broke off, laughing evilly. "If you wish to save  
Misty from my clutches, you must come to the very top of the Spear Pillar and  
defeat me!" He threw down a smoke bomb on the ground. When the smoke cleared, he  
and Misty were gone.

"Misty has been kidnapped by a strange, hooded figure," Brock stated the obvious  
as he always did. He looked at Ash seriously. "Do you know what this means?"

"Uh, I dunno." Ash looked clueless. "Are we supposed to do something?"

"Geez, Ash!" May exclaimed in exasperation. "We have to save Misty from the  
creepy hooded guy!"

"Our next destination is the Spear Pillar," Dawn said, folding her arms and  
looking grave. "I guess that means we've got to go to Mt. Coronet and climb it."

"Can I have my gym battle first?" Ash enquired tentatively.

"NO!" Brock, May and Dawn yelled, dragging him out of Canalave City.

Jessie, James and Meowth peered around a building and watched them leave in  
dismay. They had just formulated a brilliant plan involving jumping out of  
nowhere, grabbing Pikachu in a sack, running for it and getting away in their  
balloon. Okay, so it wasn't really such a brilliant plan, but they were having a  
hard time thinking of anything original at the moment.

Meanwhile, the creepy hooded man had arrived at the Spear Pillar in about five  
minutes. It made no sense, but he had. He quietly laughed as he tied Misty to a  
pole and then stroked her pale face, smiling as he looked into her green eyes.  
"When I have got rid of the person who stands in our way, then we can become  
husband and wife. We will have a long future together with many children."

"Yeah, sure." Misty sighed, looking bored and wishing that she was running the  
gym in Cerulean City right now. Beating trainer after trainer all day long would  
certainly beat being a hostage. "Uh, just how old are you anyway, creepy strange  
person?"

"Let's see... I'm probably around sixteen years old," the hooded stranger said.  
"Since we don't age at all, right? Isn't that so strange, that we don't even  
age? It doesn't even make sense to me, considering how time is supposed to still  
pass."

"So, wanting to marry a ten year old girl doesn't seem odd to you?" Misty asked.  
Well, it could have been worse, she supposed. There had been that creepy old man  
at that beach resort who leered at her. How vile was that?

"Of course not!" The hooded figure laughed maniacally. "You are a vision of  
beauty, the perfect wife for me and it is you I want to wake up next to every  
morning so that I can just lie there, gazing at your peaceful, sleeping face.  
Unless you wake up before me, then, well, I dunno. But I want to be by your side  
for the rest of our lives." He clutched his heart.

"You're making me feel sick, you revolting bag of barf." Misty grimaced, then  
threw up all over her long, white dress. The creepy hooded figure swore under  
his breath.

The next day, Ash, May, Dawn and Brock arrived at Mt. Coronet and began the long  
climb to the top. They had to fight their way through masses of slobbering Zubat  
and rampaging Geodude before they finally made it out into the open and arrived  
at the Spear Pillar itself.

Suddenly, a mecha landed in front of them and they looked up in surprise to see  
Jessie, James and Meowth sitting on top of it with devious smirks. A mechanical  
hand reached out and grabbed Pikachu off Ash's shoulder.

"Pikachu!" Ash yelled.

"Is that the voice of someone with something better to do I hear?" Jessie asked.

"It's certainly speaking out to me loud and clear," James added.

"On the wind!"

"Past the stars!"

"In your ear!"

"We're wasting your time at a breakneck pace."

"Dashing hope, bringing filler in its place."

"A filler by any other name is just as sweet."

"When all time's wasted, our work is complete."

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"And Meowth, now dat's a name!"

"Putting the do-gooders in their place..."

"We're Team Rocket."

"In your face!"

"Wobbuffet!" yelled the blue blob Pokémon.

"You're just doing this on purpose!" Brock pointed at them, looking mad.  
"We've got more important things to be doing than dealing with you people, so  
how about letting us get on with it?"

"Yeah, you had better give me back Pikachu back right now!" Ash demanded  
furiously. "I had to put off a gym battle so that we could come all the way over  
here, I'm not going to let you guys stop us!"

Jessie, James and Meowth just laughed in amusement. They really did enjoy  
wasting the twerps' time when they had more important things to be doing.  
Sometimes the things they were doing weren't even that important. How many times  
had they been seen helping out some never before seen person with some trivial  
problem? Now those times were worth interrupting.

"Alright, Pikachu, give the machine a Thunderbolt!" Ash ordered.

"Pikachuuuu!" Pikachu promptly hit the machine with a Thunderbolt but nothing  
happened. The machine was completely unharmed by the electricity. "Pika?" The  
yellow mouse Pokémon blinked in confusion.

"I guess they electric proofed it yet again," Dawn said dryly as Ash looked  
shocked. "Can't we think of a better way to deal with them?"

"Let me handle this!" May threw three Poké Balls into the air. "Come out,  
Blaziken, Venusaur, Blastoise!"

"You evolved Wartortle already?" Ash's jaw dropped in astonishment as he stared  
at the three fully evolved Pokémon.

"Yes, Ash. Unlike you, I actually evolve my Pokémon," May stated.

Ash collapsed, a blue aura surrounding his body. "I am so inferior," he  
whispered to himself in dismay. He had never managed to evolve his Bulbasaur and  
Squirtle, and here was May with her Venusaur and now, Blastoise too. She was  
only a co-ordinator! Some Pokémon Master he was going to be.

"Blaziken, use Mega Kick," May ordered. "Venusaur, use Solarbeam. Blastoise, use  
Hydro Cannon!"

Within less than a minute, the machine had exploded from the onslaught of  
powerful Pokémon attacks. Jessie, James and Meowth went flying into the air,  
screaming that they were blasting off again. Ash caught Pikachu as he flew  
toward him.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Pikachu," Ash said happily. Pikachu responded  
cheerfully.

"Good job, you guys," May said, recalling her Pokémon. "Okay, let's get going  
and save Misty. This is an exciting adventure for May's Expedition Team!"

"Don't you think you should take this a little more seriously?" Brock asked,  
raising an eyebrow.

"But that would be boring." May pouted.

"This is all so crazy," Dawn commented as they walked up the steps. "We're  
dealing with some crazy kidnapper. I wonder why exactly he came to see you,  
Ash?"

"I dunno," Ash responded. "I really don't have any idea who that guy is supposed  
to be. I don't even get why someone would go so far for someone like Misty. Is  
she really worth all the trouble?"

"Ash, please don't repeat that in front of Misty," Brock cautioned him. He would  
rather that Ash stayed alive after all.

Ash, Dawn, May and Brock soon caught sight of the mysterious robed figure who  
was sitting on the floor and reading a magazine. Well, even strange hooded  
people got bored and had to do something to pass the time. Misty was still tied  
to a pole and was feeling rather irate at being tied up. At least her kidnapper  
had the courtesy to let her change back into her normal clothes. He was a little  
unhappy about the ruined dress, but had promised to buy her lots of lavish gifts  
to make her happy anyway. Misty wasn't all that impressed.

"So, you have come at last, Ash Ketchum," the hooded figure said in a serious  
voice, standing up and tossing aside the magazine. "I have been waiting for  
you."

"Well, duh," Dawn cut in. "Why else would you have been here?"

The hooded figure shot her a nasty look. "Anyway, I still remember that day I  
met the most beautiful girl I had ever seen before. I was enamoured by her  
beauty. Everything about her was simply perfect that I was immediately in love.  
I suppose you could say it was love at first sight."

"Oh yeah, I know that feeling." Brock sighed. "But I wouldn't go kidnapping  
girls. That's just stupid and immature behaviour and you really are an idiot. Do  
you really think kidnapping Misty and tying her to a pole will make her fall in  
love with you?"

The hooded figure let out an exaggerated sigh. "Excuse me, the whole point of  
this meeting was that I have a long chat with my rival in love, not his annoying  
friends. Will you all back off?"

"Do I have to back off as well?" May asked. "I haven't even said anything."

"Yes!" the strange man exclaimed.

Dawn, May and Brock all sighed and backed away quietly, letting Ash have his  
moment with the kidnapper.

"Okay, so who are you?" Ash asked, looking at the kidnapper in annoyance.

"So you still haven't realised who I am?" The strange hooded man laughed  
sinisterly. "Then I shall give you a clue. I saw Misty for the first time in the  
Orange Islands."

"Uh... and?" Ash watched him with a blank expression.

"On Trovita Island," the mysterious man continued. Misty seemed to have figured  
it out, but didn't say anything.

Ash still seemed clueless.

"I have a little sister?" The kidnapper tried again.

Ash blinked a few times.

"I'm a freaking gym leader!" the perpetrator screamed in frustration, waving his  
arms over his head.

"Hmm..." Ash rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Gym Leader... Orange Islands...  
let's see... Drake? No, wait, he wasn't a gym leader, was he... who was that  
guy? Uh, Danny?"

"For Mew's sake, Ash!" Misty yelled, finally losing her temper. "It's Rudy!  
RUDY!"

"Rudy..." Ash's eyes lit up in realisation. "Oh yeah! I remember Rudy, he was  
the gym leader in Trovita Island who had a little sister and he seemed to like  
Misty a lot."

"Yes. I am Rudy!" Rudy threw off his hood, bursting into evil laughter. "I had  
hoped that Misty would stay with me on Trovita Island and we would someday  
become husband and wife, but no, she picked you and I had to let her go! If it  
hadn't been for you, we would have been living happily together!"

"What the heck?" Ash looked at him in disbelief. "I didn't tell Misty to stay  
with me, did I? She's not even travelling with me anymore."

"That's because I have a gym to run. I am a gym leader too!" Misty struggled  
against the ropes, looking mad. "Why are you so hung up on Ash anyway? Wait...  
what did you mean when you said rival in love earlier?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Rudy asked. "You wanted to stay with him because you loved  
him, right?"

"Did you even have a reason for calling me here?" Ash asked impatiently. "I was  
supposed to go and have a gym battle and I haven't even had it yet because you  
kidnapped Misty and wanted us to come here."

"Are you insane?" Misty shrieked. "I'd have to be tripping to even think about  
having a relationship with Ash!"

"What did that mean?" Ash looked confused. He felt like he had been insulted,  
but why would Misty insult him? Wasn't she supposed to be his friend?

"Okay, now I'm really confused," said Rudy. "So I'm just going to do whatever it  
was I set out to do... oh yes, get rid of Ash and then take Misty to be mine."  
He threw a Poké Ball. "Go, Tyranitar!"

"You want a Pokémon Battle?" Ash asked, looking up at the tall Pokémon that  
roared menacingly.

"Tyranitar, Hyper Beam!" Rudy ordered.

"But I didn't even get to-" Ash was sent flying back as the Hyper Beam hit him.  
He crashed into the floor, clouds of dust and smoke rising from the ground.

"Ash!" Misty gasped in shock. "What did you do that for, you jerk?" she asked,  
looking angrily at Rudy.

Rudy threw back his head and laughed again. "This is easier than I thought it  
would be. I have dreamed of this day for so long, getting rid of my long time  
rival and being able to claim the heart of the one I love! Tyranitar, use Hyper  
Beam again!"

Tyranitar gave him an exasperated look, that clearly meant 'I have to recharge  
because I just used Hyper Beam, you total dumbass.'

"Is that all you got?" Ash crawled forward, looking pained. He struggled to his  
knees, looking at Pikachu. "Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!"

"Pikachuuuuu!" Pikachu launched a Thunderbolt, striking Tyranitar. It didn't  
seem to hurt Tyranitar much though.

"Is that really the best that you can do?" Rudy smiled evilly. "Tyranitar, use  
Crunch!"

Pikachu screamed in pain as Tyranitar's jaws clamped around it. Ash watched on  
in horror as Pikachu was shaken about then thrown aside like a rag doll.

"Pikachu!" he shouted. Pikachu struggled to his feet, wincing.

"Tyranitar, use Hyper Beam on Ash again!" Rudy ordered.

Ash didn't have any time to react. He could only stare, his mouth hanging open  
as the blast of energy fired toward him and rammed into his body, sending him  
crashing into the ground a second time and rolling over a distance. He lay on  
his back, staring up at the sky with a dazed expression. His body didn't feel so  
good after receiving two Hyper Beams.

"Ash!" May ran over to him, looking horrified. Her eyes filled with tears as  
she kneeled down and held him in her arms. "Don't let him hurt you anymore,  
please... I don't want to lose you." Tears dripped down her face and she let out  
a muffled sob.

"Ugh..." Ash pushed himself up, wincing and looking as if he was in considerable  
pain. "I'm... not going to lose this battle..." He looked at Rudy with an angry  
expression. "Now you've really made me mad!"

"Uh... kidnapping me didn't make you mad?" Misty asked in disbelief. "Geez, some  
friend you are." She sighed.

"So you can still stand?" Rudy smirked as Ash got to his feet. "Impressive. I  
guess it will take a little more time than I thought to take you down  
permanently."

"Ash," May spoke in a worried tone, standing as well. She didn't want to see  
him get hurt again.

"You won't get the chance!" Ash threw a Poké Ball, looking positively furious.  
"Go, Grotle!" The large turtle appeared before him. "Now use Energy Ball!"

Grotle released a large ball of energy that crashed into Tyranitar's chest.

"Dark Pulse!" Rudy ordered. Tyranitar sent out a wave of dark energy that struck  
Grotle.

The battle raged on with Tyranitar eventually beating Grotle, though it looked a  
little worse for wear. Ash retaliated by sending out Buizel and hitting it with  
an onslaught of water type attacks. Tyranitar staggered back and fell to the  
ground with a loud crash, eyes swirling.

"Drat." Rudy recalled Tyranitar. "Looks like you won this battle."

"What? Don't you have another Pokémon?" Ash asked.

"No, I just brought Tyranitar," Rudy replied. "I thought it would be enough."

"Okay then..." Ash recalled Grotle and Buizel. "So what you planning to do now,  
huh?"

"This." Rudy took out a switch and pressed it. "I laid explosives all over Mt.  
Coronet. This switch has just activated them. In a minute, Mt. Coronet will  
explode and since Spear Pillar is right on top of it, that wouldn't be so good.  
You will all die here!" He started laughing.

"A minute?" Dawn asked incredulously. "We can't get out in one minute!"

"What about you?" Brock asked. "You would go down with us!"

"Nope." Rudy pulled away a blanket that had been covering something suspiciously  
large and revealed a helicopter. He then untied Misty and stuffed her into the  
helicopter despite her protests. "Didn't expect me to have a helicopter, did  
you?" The gym leader of Trovita Island then laughed as he got into the cockpit  
and shut the door.

"Hey, where do you think you are going?" Ash ran after the helicopter, but it  
lifted into the air before he even reached it. "Get back here!" He watched the  
helicopter go up, his spirits sinking. "Oh great, he got away."

"Pikachupi," Pikachu said sadly, walking over to stand next to Ash. May, Dawn  
and Brock ran up, all of them looking quite worried.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Brock asked. "The mountain's going to  
explode."

"We're going to die, aren't we?" Dawn bit her lower lip fearfully.

"In a situation like this, there's only one thing we can do and that's relying  
on luck." May threw a Poké Ball. "Come on out, Munchlax!"

Munchlax appeared before them, looking expectantly at May.

"Okay, Munchlax, you have to pull a deus ex machina like never before," May told  
it. "Now use Metronome."

Munchlax started waving its fingers in the air while chanting. Ash, Pikachu,  
Brock, Dawn and May all watched it anxiously as time trickled slowly past.  
Munchlax's fingers glowed white and then they all disappeared.

They then reappeared inside the helicopter.

"What the hell?" Rudy shouted, turning his head and seeing that he suddenly had  
some guests on his helicopter. "How did you manage to get on here?"

"Munchlax, that was brilliant!" May hugged Munchlax happily. "You are amazing!"

"I would have preferred to be on the ground," Dawn said, smiling nervously. "But  
I guess I can't complain."

"Did you teleport?" Misty stared at them in disbelief.

"Munchlax used Metronome and pulled off a deus ex machina," Brock explained.  
"Which was just as well."

"Alright, Rudy, we've got you now!" Ash exclaimed. "Land this helicopter and let  
Misty go!"

"No," Rudy said in an ominous voice. He swung the helicopter around until they  
were looking through the window at Mt. Coronet. "I think I will just crash this  
helicopter into the side of Mt. Coronet and kill us all instead."

"On second thoughts, you should have teleported us somewhere safer, Munchlax,"  
May said in a dull tone, recalling her Pokémon.

"This is exactly why I would have preferred being on the ground." Dawn looked  
even more nervous.

"Argh!" Ash yelled in frustration, lunging and tackling Rudy out of the seat.  
They rolled around on the floor, furiously scrapping and trying to punch each  
other's lights out.

"For the record, I have never flown a helicopter before," Brock said, sitting in  
the seat. "But someone's got to try and turn this helicopter around. Please  
don't yell at me if it crashes anyway." He stared at the controls, trying to  
make sense of them.

May and Dawn clung to each other, shivering as they saw Mt. Coronet coming even  
closer. Dying in the wreckages of a helicopter was not particularly appealing.

Somehow, Brock managed to turn the helicopter around. Now there was just the  
small issue of actually managing to land it safely, which he really wasn't sure  
how to do. Ash punched Rudy in the face. Rudy punched him back. They continued  
to kick and punch at each other. Pikachu watched them. May and Dawn continued to  
hug each other in fear. Misty was looking extremely bored.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" Ash yelled, punching Rudy in the face once  
more with an angry expression. "Now you want to kill us all anyway even if that  
means dying and killing Misty as well? Are you completely insane?"

"I will be with my beloved Misty, even if only in death," Rudy shoved Ash over  
and sat on top of him, pinning him to the ground. "Nobody can stop me!"

"Oh, screw this. Pikachu, use Iron Tail!" Ash snapped. Pikachu leaped into  
action, slamming its glowing tail against Rudy's head and knocking him  
unconscious. "Well done, Pikachu," he said, shoving Rudy off himself and sitting  
up. "Now that he's out of the way, we just have to try and get out of this  
alive. How's it going, Brock?"

"Okay... I've figured out how to make this helicopter go up and down anyway,"  
Brock said in a nervous tone. "It might be a rough landing, but it's better than  
slamming right into the side of a mountain. We definitely wouldn't have survived  
something like that."

"This is so lame." Misty groaned and shook her head despairingly. "How did I end  
up in a stupid situation like this? I should be back in Cerulean City running  
the gym."

"I wanted to be kicking Dawn's butt in a contest," May said, looking  
disappointed. "And eating some great noodles at a fancy restaurant. Hey, when  
this is over and if we're alive, let's go and eat some noodles!"

"How can you think about noodles at a time like this?" Dawn asked in  
exasperation. "We might be about to die!"

"Your votes of confidence are really helping me out," Brock said, sarcasm lacing  
his voice. "I appreciate it."

"Hey, Brock, can I try flying the helicopter?" Ash asked.

"HELL, NO!" Brock, Misty, May and Dawn all screamed in unison.

"Chu!" Pikachu waved his arms, shaking his head to show that he clearly did not  
approve of the idea either.

"Aww..." Ash leaned against the wall, crossing his arms and pouting. "Meanies."

Somehow, Brock managed to land the helicopter, though it was a bit of a bumpy  
landing but at least everyone got out unscathed. An Officer Jenny who just  
happened to be passing by was very willing to drag Rudy's unconscious body off  
to jail. Misty left, thinking only of getting back to the gym since she was  
completely useless otherwise and contributed absolutely nothing to the plot.

Ash, May, Dawn and Brock set off back to Canalave City. Luckily, the contest  
hadn't yet happened so May and Dawn were able to enrol in the contest. The gym  
leader turned out to be absent, having left a note on the door of the gym that  
said 'Gone to beat up my kid. Back later.' They did not want to know what that  
was all about.

The next day, the Canalave City contest began. May, Dawn and Jessie, in her  
Jessalina disguise, were all entering the contest. May and Dawn got through the  
appeals round, using Skitty and Pachirisu, respectively. Jessie, on the other  
hand, had gone back to stinking at contests and didn't even make it to the  
battle round, much to her disappointment. James and Meowth weren't surprised at  
all, having seen how much her appeal stank.

When it came to the battle round, Dawn and May both blazed through the battle  
round until they were facing each other in the final round. Dawn naturally sent  
out Piplup as she had threatened and May retaliated by sending out Blaziken to  
face Piplup. Obviously, the brunette co-ordinator was serious about winning this  
contest and getting her revenge on Dawn.

"Piplup, use Peck!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Blaziken, use Sky Uppercut!" May ordered. Blaziken swept its leg beneath Piplup  
as it moved in, then kicked it up into the air, slashing at it with its claws.

"Don't let that stop you, Piplup!" Dawn said with resolve. "Use Bubble Beam!"

"Use Flamethrower," May ordered calmly. Blaziken released a jet of flame that  
engulfed the bubbles and rammed into Piplup, burning it slightly.

"Now use Whirlpool!" Dawn cried out desperately.

"Mega Kick." May's eyes narrowed.

Blaziken leaped over the whirlpool that Piplup had attempted to hit it with and  
crashed to the ground, kicking Piplup away with a powerful force that stunned  
the penguin for a moment.

Dawn and May looked up at their points for a second. May had far more points  
than Dawn at the moment. Dawn gritted her teeth, trying to think of a way out of  
the situation.

"Oh, screw this." Dawn clutched her fists. It was time to use a deus ex machina  
to worm her way out of this tight situation. "Piplup, use Bide!"

"Blaziken, use Flare Blitz now!" May called out to her Pokémon. Blaziken cloaked  
itself in fire and then charged toward Piplup. The penguin Pokémon was unable to  
do anything as it was building up energy. Blaziken slammed into it, engulfing it  
in flames and smashing it into the ground. When the Blaze Pokémon got up, Piplup  
was lying in a small crater, eyes swirling madly.

Dawn looked at her empty points bar in dismay. With her Pokémon knocked out,  
that meant she had lost all her points and as a result, lost the contest.

"The winner of the Canalave City contest is May from Petalburg City!" Marian  
announced. The audience cheered and May was presented with the Canalave Ribbon.

"Revenge is sweet, isn't it, Blaziken?" May smiled, showing the ribbon to her  
Pokémon. Blaziken cheerfully agreed.

"Good job, Piplup," Dawn commented, scooping it up in her arms. It weakly looked  
up at her with a sad expression. "You should rest now," she added, recalling it  
into its Poké Ball.

Now that the contest had come to an end, Ash, Brock, May and Dawn returned to  
the Pokémon Center, had a free lunch then went to piss about and do nothing as  
usual. Brock made advances on Nurse Joy while getting stabbed by Croagunk. Dawn  
cried in a dark corner about what a crappy co-ordinator she was while drowning  
Piplup in a sea of emo tears. Ash and May were commanded by some unseen force to  
go out into the city and spend some time alone together.

"I really did have a reason for coming here," May confessed after they had been  
walking along in silence for a while. "It wasn't really to come and kick Dawn's  
butt in a contest, though I did kind of enjoy doing that."

"Oh?" Ash looked at her with a curious expression.

"The Grand Festival in Johto isn't happening for over a month so I had plenty of  
time to kill and I didn't feel like spending it in Johto," May said. "The  
Characters of the Day there are really dull too."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Ash rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I wasted so much  
time before the supposedly quickly impending Johto League helping out a bunch of  
dull people with dull problems. I actually enjoyed it when Team Rocket was up to  
no good and annoying a shiny Gyarados and pissing off Lugia and stuff. It made a  
nice change. And by Team Rocket, I don't mean a certain trio."

"Well, anyway... I just came to see you," May confessed, turning to look at him  
with an awkward gaze, a hesitant smile gracing her features. "I've really been  
missing you a lot while travelling in Johto. It's not really the same without  
you there."

"Yeah, I missed you too, May," Ash replied, also turning to face her. "It's  
fun travelling in Sinnoh, but it definitely isn't the same as travelling with  
you and your brother. You didn't spend weeks being emo when you lost a contest  
for one thing."

"It's not just that I missed you..." May pushed her fingers together,  
deliberating on what to say. "I also... well, have feelings for you."

"Huh?" Ash blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

A drop of sweat rolled down May's head. Of course, it was hard to get the point  
across with Ash sometimes, especially where the subject of relationships was  
concerned. He could be amazingly clueless at times. Obviously, she was just  
going to have show him exactly what she meant.

"I mean this." May stepped forward, slipping her arms around Ash and pressing  
her lips against his in a soft kiss. She drew back, looking expectantly at Ash.  
Now he looked dazed and his face was red. "Now do you get it?"

"I... I think so..." Ash spluttered. That had felt pretty good. "Hey, can we do  
it again?"

The two then wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, this one lasting  
much longer.

Pikachu stared at them, head tilted and looking surprised. "Pika," it spoke in a  
wondering tone.


	4. POK

  
POKɍON: THE LIVE ACTION MOVIE

Narrator: At the age of 16, Ash Ketchum has finally accomplished his dream of  
becoming a Pokémon Master.

[Scene: Ash's Bedroom]

ASH and PIKACHU are lying in a luxurious double bed together. Ash awakes and  
sits up in bed, rubbing his eyes. Pikachu wakes up as well a few seconds later  
and stretches. Ash looks over at the empty side of the bed.

Narrator: Having the title of Pokémon Master is not the only thing that he has  
to be proud of. He also has a girlfriend.

MISTY steps out of what appears to be the bathroom, naked save for a towel that  
is wrapped around her body. The camera pans around to her back and she drops the  
towel. Ash just stares at her, as if wondering why she's standing in his bedroom  
naked. Where the heck is he anyway and why the hell is Misty of all people here?

Misty: Good morning, Ash. [runs a hand through her dripping wet hair and gives  
him a seductive smile]

Ash: Uh... morning. [is utterly confused as hell]

Narrator: Life is just perfect for him at the moment. He's attained the title  
he's dreamed of for his whole life and he's won the girl of his dreams. However,  
little does he know, a huge new threat is about to arise. We'll get back to that  
later. Instead, let's introduce you to Pikachu.

Pikachu, who is actually a walking yellow blob of CGI, jumps off the bed and  
walks out of the bedroom. He walks down to the kitchen, trying to remember just  
where the ketchup is. Unfortunately, he has not yet mastered the art of opening  
the fridge and will therefore fail in his mission.

Narrator: This is Pikachu, Ash's first ever Pokémon and his best friend.

Pikachu: Pikachu pi! Pikapi kachu pika chu pi ka chu pikachu pika chu pi pika pi  
chu pichupi kachu pika... [is shamelessly boosting word count by talking a hell  
of a lot]

Narrator: Pikachu was given to Ash by his mentor and the local Pokémon Professor  
who resides in his hometown, Pallet Town.

[Camera pans over town that is apparently supposed to be Pallet Town. It then  
zooms in on a lab and to an old man bent over a computer and typing furiously]

Narrator: Professor Samuel Oak is a world famous Pokémon Professor and he has  
studied Pokémon for many years. When he is not busy studying Pokémon, who knows  
what he is doing? Totally not getting jiggy with the redhead over here, honest.

DELIA walks up to OAK and puts her hands on his shoulders, smiling at him.

Delia: You know, Samuel, when you're not so busy, I was thinking that we could  
look at this new book that I bought. It's certainly a very interesting read.

Oak: Oh, really? What is the name of this book?

Delia: Um... what was it again? [taps chin and thinks] Karma Suture, I think.

Oak: Heh... I think I know what you're talking about and I would absolutely love  
to have a look at that wonderful book with you, Delia. Who knows, maybe it will  
give us some new ideas. But first, I should get Tracey out of the way so that he  
doesn't interrupt us. Hey, Tracey!

Narrator: Tracey Sketchit used to travel with Ash and Misty in the Orange  
Islands. A devout Oak fanboy, he now works at the lab in Pallet Town with him.

TRACEY comes running over to Oak with a fervent expression on his face, clasping  
a sketchbook in his arms.

Tracey: Professor? I just finished sketching this really rare Pokémon I saw  
hanging around the preserve. Would you like to have a look at it?

Oak: Actually, Tracey, I was hoping that you could do something for me. I need  
you to go back out into the preserve and count every different kind of Pokémon  
that you see there. Be sure to search every single corner, got it?

Tracey: Yes, Professor, I'll start right away! [drops the sketchbook and runs  
off]

Oak: Excellent. [turns to look at Delia with a grin] Now shall we take a look at  
that book?

[The telephone rings]

Oak: Drat. [goes to answer the telephone. Ash appears on the videoscreen.]

Ash: Professor Oak! I was wondering, what am I supposed to do now that I'm a  
Pokémon Master? Now that I've achieved my dream already, I can't help but feel I  
should still be doing something. I don't want to be sitting around and doing  
nothing.

Delia: Oh, hello, Ash!

Ash: Huh, Mom? What are you doing over at Professor Oak's place?

Delia: Uh, I was just bringing him a batch of my freshly made cookies. After  
all, being a Pokémon Professor's a tough job, he obviously needs my delicious  
cookies to keep him going.

Oak: And isn't that the truth? [chuckles suspiciously]

Ash: Uh, okay then. So, Professor Oak, what should I do? I know I just brought a  
new place and moved in with Misty, but I still need something to do! It's so  
frustrating. Aren't there any other regions out there for me to go and travel so  
that I can challenge a few gyms and enter a league?

Oak: Ash, just relax. You are a Pokémon Master now. There is nothing left for  
you to do. Why don't you simply concentrate on your relationship with Misty?

Ash: But... I don't even understand why I'm in a relationship with Misty!  
Whatever happened to May and Dawn? How did I even achieve my dream of becoming a  
Pokémon Master?

Oak: May and Dawn? Whatever are you talking about?

Delia: Yeah, I'm pretty sure you don't have any friends named May and Dawn.  
After all, you became a Pokémon Master after travelling through Johto, didn't  
you? You never went to any regions named Hoenn or Sinnoh either. Really.

Ash: But... I'm sure I...

Oak: [insistent tone] Ash, it was all a very strange dream you had while you  
were in a coma after you had that nasty accident. None of it ever happened,  
okay?

Ash: Really? [looks extremely confused] Well, if you say so then, but I'm still  
a bit confused.

Oak: That's okay, you're always a bit confused. Is that all you called me about?  
I got to go now. Bye. [slams down phone]

[Scene is now in wherever the heck Ash was calling Oak from]

Ash: Professor Oak! Aww, he hung up on me. [looks down at Pikachu] Hey, Pikachu,  
don't you think that things are getting just a little bit weird all of a sudden?

Pikachu: Pikachu kachupi pika chu chukapi pikapi pika pika pika pika pika kachu  
pi.

Ash stares at Pikachu. Misty comes into the room, wearing an extremely revealing  
dress. Apparently, she has shed her tomboy ways and only exists for blatant  
fanservice which would explain the rather large rack she has on her.

Misty: Is something bothering you, Ash? [wraps her arms around him from behind  
and buries her face in his neck, purring seductively]

Ash: Well, I... I'm wondering why the heck you're hugging me like that. It's  
seriously creepy. Can you please stop doing that?

Misty: But, Ash, we are boyfriend and girlfriend now, it's how we should act  
around each other. After all, I gave up my position of running the Cerulean City  
Gym and abandoned it to my incompetent older sisters so that I could be with you  
for the rest of our lives and we can get married and have children.

Ash: Um, you know what? I forgot that I promised to go and see Brock! See ya!  
[runs out of the house like hell with Pikachu on his shoulder]

Misty walks to the front door and waves him off, then puts her hands on her hips  
and pouts.

Misty: Sheesh, that Ash! I swear he never even thinks about my feelings. He is  
such a clueless moron! Sometimes I think I could just murder him! But of course  
not, because I am absolutely in love with him and stuff.

[Camera is now following Ash, who runs along a few streets before arriving at  
what looks like a crack whore den. He steps inside to find a tall Asian male  
with several screaming brats clinging onto him.]

Narrator: This is Brock who has travelled with Ash and Misty for many years and  
is one of their closest friends. He wants to become the world's best breeder but  
so far, that dream still seems to be pretty far off.

Brock: Sheesh, can you believe that my parents went and had six more kids then  
disappeared again? How am I supposed to become the world's best breeder when  
taking care of fifteen siblings?

Ash: Six? Wait, how did they do that again?

Brock: Well, as if having twins wasn't bad enough, my mom proved her ability to  
have triplets. Well, staying in Pewter City isn't too bad, I guess, I think I  
might actually have a chance with the Nurse Joy at the Pokémon Center. How is it  
going with Misty?

Ash: Oh, it's going alright. I think she wants to marry me and have children.

Brock: Seriously? That's great, Ash, but make sure you don't move too fast. You  
don't want to end up like my parents.

Ash: I'm scared, Brock. I'm not ready for marriage, let alone children! I can't  
even believe that I moved in with Misty! [looks at Pikachu] I bet it's surprised  
you too, right, Pikachu?

Pikachu: Pi pika pi pika pi pikachu pikapi kachu pi kachu pi pikapi pika chu.

Ash: Seriously, Pikachu, quit doing that!

Pikachu: Pi. [hangs head and looks guilty]

Brock: Well, obviously, there are a lot of people out there who have the crazy  
illusion you two have feelings for each other. You will just have to put up with  
it for now. Man, I wish I could get a woman as easily as you... I just don't  
understand it. A clueless idiot like you has a girlfriend while I've been  
hitting on girls for years and I'm still a virgin! [falls into a chair and  
buries face in hands, sobbing]

Ash: Are there any sane people around here? I guess I'll just have to go find  
them. Have fun babysitting your crazy siblings. [leaves gym and walks around  
with a clueless expression on his face] I wonder where I should go now. I feel  
like my purpose is to waste time so that this movie is long enough and they can  
put it in the theaters. After all, who would want a straight to DVD release?

Ash randomly walks into a café and is surprised to catch sight of a certain man  
with spiky red hair sipping from a cup of coffee.

Narrator: This is Gary Oak, Professor Oak's grandson and Ash's former rival.  
Seriously, why the heck am I still around?

GARY looks at Ash with a smirk.

Gary: Hello, Ashy-boy. Are you lost by any chance?

Ash sits at the table and looks at Gary with an annoyed stare.

Ash: Please don't call me that. So, I haven't seen you in a while, Gary. What  
have you been up to?

Gary: Oh, you know, just doing my job as a Pokémon Researcher. It's a very busy  
job but it's necessary if I ever want to become a Pokémon Professor like my  
grandfather. I'm not sure why I am sitting in this café drinking coffee, but you  
did always like to randomly bump into me anyway. What have you been doing? Oh,  
that's right, I heard that you had achieved your dream of becoming Pokémon  
Master. I must say that I was absolutely stunned when I heard the news, would  
never have expected it from someone like you, Ashy-boy.

Ash: Uh, what did I just say? [sighs and shakes his head] Never mind. Well, I  
got into a relationship with Misty and moved in with her for some reason. I'm  
not really sure what I'm supposed to do as the Pokémon Master but I'll figure  
something out. Hey, do you think I would make a good Pokémon Researcher?

Gary: [spits out coffee and bursts into laughter] I'm sorry? You, a Pokémon  
Researcher? You would have to get a brain first!

Ash: Hey! I do have a brain, thank you very much. I thought you were past being  
immature and mocking me all the time anyway.

Gary: Oh yeah, I was. Sorry about that. Anyway, my fellow researchers discovered  
the remains of a forgotten Pokémon that is said to have been the most powerful  
Pokémon in the world and probably would still be if it was alive to this day.

Ash: If it's the most powerful Pokémon in the world, then why is it dead?

Gary: Because some guy was more powerful than it and defeated it. We found a  
journal belonging to some guy half-buried right next to the fossils.

Ash: Um, okay, but how do we even know it was the most powerful Pokémon in the  
world?

Gary: Because the journal said so. Anyway, the fossil was buried inside these  
ruins of an ancient civilisation called Pokéria and this team unearthed them a  
few days ago. They think they might even be able to revive the fossil and bring  
back the world's most powerful Pokémon.

Ash: That's cool, but something still confuses me. Why did it even have to be  
defeated and how did the guy defeat it? Did he use some really strong Pokémon to  
take it down?

Gary: You really do ask a lot of questions, Ash. It's simple, the guy didn't use  
Pokémon to defeat it, he used a very different method to take it down. After  
all, it was the most powerful Pokémon in the world. Maybe a more powerful  
Pokémon exists now, I don't know. I bet that powerful Pokémon I fought in the  
Viridian City Gym is just as powerful. Anyway, it had to be defeated because it  
was evil and tried to kill people.

Ash: An evil Pokémon?

Gary: Yes, that is correct.

Ash: But it makes no sense.

Gary: I know.

Ash: So... why is your team trying to revive an evil Pokémon that tried to kill  
people?

Gary: Would you kill the people who brought you back to life?

Ash: Uh, no?

Gary: Exactly. Anyway, I had better be off. I'm very busy after all and I have a  
lot of important stuff to do, so I'll see you later. Bye. [walks off, leaving  
Ash alone in the café]

Ash: The world's most powerful Pokémon, huh? [looks deeply thoughtful]

Pikachu: Pi ka chu pi ka chu pi ka chu.

Ash: Pikachu!

[Scene switches to two people who are standing in an office. They are all  
wearing a white uniform with red Rs on their shirts. One of them is a woman with  
long red hair, the other one is a man with short blue hair. There is a CGI  
Meowth standing between them. The three are looking at the back of a chair  
behind a desk.]

Creepy voice from behind chair: Jessie, James and Meowth... the three most  
incompetent members of Team Rocket. For several years, you have apparently been  
hellbent on one single task that renders you completely incapable of doing  
anything else. Just what was it again?

Jessie: We have been stalking a boy and trying to kidnap his Pikachu, sir. He's  
really good at blasting us off though, so we haven't really been able to do  
much.

Creepy voice: I see. What is this boy's name?

James: Uh, I think his name is Ash Ketchum. Yeah, that sounds about right. His  
Pikachu is really powerful and ever since we saw it, we have wanted to give it  
to you.

The chair turns around to reveal GIOVANNI. JESSIE, JAMES and MEOWTH look at him.  
Giovanni is stroking a Persian in his lap. He smiles evilly and reaches into the  
breast pocket of his jacket, pulling out a picture and showing it to Jessie,  
James and Meowth.

Giovanni: Is this him?

Meowth: Yes, that's him!

Giovanni: I see. Somehow I know about the existence of this random brat from  
Pallet Town and that is a good enough excuse for me to be very interested in  
him. You three, I am ordering you to stay away from him and let me deal with him  
instead. I have ideas of my own. [chuckles darkly]

Jessie: So, uh, what are we supposed to do then?

Giovanni: I don't know! Just go and make yourselves useful!

James: Is this all we get to do? Talk to the boss?

Meowth: This is so lame.

Jessie, James and Meowth leave. Giovanni picks up a piece of paper. On this  
paper is the report of the fossilized Pokémon from Pokéria. He then smirks  
evilly and some creepy ominous music begins to play in the background.

[Scene change to Ash and Misty's house]

Ash has returned to the house and is eating a lot of food to try and curb his  
boredom. Pikachu is licking a bottle of ketchup and looking really happy. Misty  
is wearing a two piece bikini and draping herself over a chair in an alluring  
manner.

Misty: Do you get the feeling that I am only existing for pointless fanservice?  
Because I do.

Ash: Can't you go and do something more useful like, I don't know, fangirling  
Water type Pokémon like you always do?

Misty: I gave up my position as a Gym Leader to be with you. Can't you be  
grateful? Hey, I know, we should just have a long, romantic kiss and waste some  
time for no reason.

Ash: Do we have to?

Misty: Yes, of course we do. [grabs Ash and pulls him into a romantic kiss that  
lasts for about a whole minute. Ash is feebly struggling the whole time, but  
Misty does not notice this.]

[Scene change to outside the house, where some Team Rocket grunts are standing  
outside the door. Even more ominous music starts playing. Scene change again to  
back in the kitchen]

Ash: Well, er, now I have to go hurry to the toilet. I'll be back in a sec.  
[runs to the toilet]

The doorbell rings. Misty gets up from the chair and walks over to the door,  
opening it and leaning against the door, showing off her entire body.

Misty: Can I help you?

Team Rocket grunt: You are Misty, the girlfriend of Ash Ketchum, are you not?

Misty: That is correct.

Team Rocket grunt: Great, because we just came to kidnap you on the orders of  
our boss.

The Team Rocket grunts drag Misty away kicking and screaming. Pikachu hears the  
screaming but is totally useless and does nothing, mostly because its trainer  
isn't even there to tell it what to do. Ash soon returns to the kitchen and  
looks around in confusion.

Ash: Misty, where are you?

Pikachu: Pikachupi pika pikachu. [points toward the front door]

Ash: Huh, did she leave? [walks to the open front door and looks at the doorstep  
to see an envelope. He then opens the envelope]

Giovanni: (voice over) You may be wondering what has happened to your  
girlfriend, Ash Ketchum. All I will tell you is that she is currently in the  
possession of Team Rocket and I am their leader, Giovanni. Misty will not be  
harmed so do not worry about her. All I have to say is that you had better watch  
yourself because I am after you. Have you heard of the world's most powerful  
Pokémon? Don't worry, because you will be soon. Very soon, we shall be facing  
off each other. I await that day with much anticipation.

Ash: What the hell? I've never heard of this Giovanni before. Why is he even  
after me?

Pikachu: Pika kachu pika chu kapi. [shakes head, looking utterly clueless]

Ash: Great, Misty has been kidnapped and I'm not even sure what I am supposed to  
do. I guess I should just go and see Brock and see if he knows what to do.

[Scene changes to Ash returning to the crack whore den where Brock is feeding  
his noisy siblings some sleeping pills]

Brock: Uh... these are not sleeping pills, I swear, just... candy. Yeah, they  
are candy.

Ash: I see. Anyway, Misty has just been kidnapped by Giovanni, who is the leader  
of Team Rocket, and I don't know what I am supposed to do. Do you maybe have a  
good idea?

Brock: Well, maybe you could try to save her?

Ash: Geez, thanks for the tip, Einstein! Wait, he mentioned the world's most  
powerful Pokémon. That had to be the same one that Gary was talking about. Then  
Gary should be able to help! [runs off out of the crack whore den]

Brock: And I was just about to ask him if he wanted to help me babysit... is  
that a poo I smell? [sighs in despair]

[Scene changes to Ash running. He then comes across Gary, who is wearing a  
leather jacket and sitting on a motorbike while looking extremely sexy. He is  
about to put on a helmet.]

Ash: Hey, Gary, wait!

Gary: Oh man, you again? What do you want from me now?

Ash: It's about that Pokémon you were talking about, the fossilized one.  
Apparently the leader of Team Rocket is after it.

Gary: Well, I just got a call from my team saying they figured out how to revive  
it and are about to do the process. It should be pretty exciting. Would you like  
to come and watch?

Ash: Didn't you hear a word I just said?

Gary: Do you want to come or not?

Ash: Fine!

Gary: That's the spirit. [tosses Ash a helmet] Make sure you hold on to me  
tight. I'm not going to stop if you fall off and break every bone in your body.

Ash: Geez, why do you have to keep putting me down like that? [puts helmet on  
and sits on motorbike, putting arms around Gary]

Gary revs the motorbike up and the next five minutes are filled with Gary and  
Ash on the motorbike, speeding along the road. At some point they go through a  
desert landscape before arriving at a large building located in the middle of  
the desert. The motorbike screeches to a halt and Ash and Gary get off, removing  
their helmets.

Ash: So is this place where you revive the fossils?

Gary: That's right. I'll take you to the place where they are reviving the  
fossil of the world's most powerful Pokémon now.

Ash and Gary walk through the building until they stop at some sliding doors.  
Gary takes a card out of his pocket and slides it through a panel. The door  
slides open once he has been identified and Ash and Gary step through to see  
several people in white labcoats surrounding a giant glass tube.

Ash: Holy crap!

The glass tube contains what appears to have a few limbs with some dangerous  
looking claws at the end, plus some huge wings sprouting from its back. The  
skull is massive and the mouth contains several rows of sharp looking teeth.  
Horns protrude from the scalp. A long, tapering tail is seen from the back. The  
thing is several feet tall and even longer in terms of feet.

Gary: This is... um, what are we calling this thing?

An attractive female scientist drapes herself over Gary. Several other females  
in the room are giving her some very jealous looks. They seem to be drooling  
over Gary.

Female scientist: Well, we were thinking of Armalypse. As in Armageddon and  
Apocalypse. How about it?

Gary: Uh, well, I think that is an extremely creative name. Kudos. [looks at Ash  
with a bewildered expression] How is the revival going?

Female scientist: We've just administered the creation fluid. It should be  
coming to life any minute now.

Ash: Awesome! I'm getting to see the revival of a long dead fossil Pokémon! Hey,  
Pikachu, isn't this really exciting?

Pikachu: Chuuuu. [is clinging to Ash's leg and shivering]

Ash: Huh, what's the matter with you, Pikachu?

Suddenly, the fossil begins to glow with an eerie white light as the creation  
fluid gets to work. A minute later, the fossil is now a flesh and blood  
creature. It unoriginally has thick, scaly black skin and red eyes. It thrashes  
around in its tube, gnashing its teeth and roaring. Its long white claws slash  
around in the air and it looks around the lab, blinking its crimson eyes.

Gary: Wow, it is seriously creepy looking.

Some random scientist: Amazing! The most powerful Pokémon in the world,  
Armalypse, has come to life before our very eyes!

Ash: Whoah, this is so awesome...

The doors are suddenly blasted open by an explosion. Ash, Gary and the  
scientists run for cover as Team Rocket grunts come running through the door and  
surrounding the Pokémon. Armalypse goes insane and smashes the tube to pieces,  
but Team Rocket shoots out nets and somehow manage to trap it.

Ash: Team Rocket! They really did intend to steal it after all!

Gary: Looks like we'll have to make ourselves useful! Go, Blastoise!

Ash: I will too! Go, Charizard! ... The heck? Shouldn't it be at the Charicific  
Valley?

A crappy looking CGI Blastoise and an equally crappy looking CGI Charizard go  
up. However, the CGI monstrosity that is Armalypse fires off a million CGI Hyper  
Beams and take out Charizard and Blastoise in the process, along with most of  
the Team Rocket grunts. Giovanni enters the room.

Giovanni: I guess my grunts are useless. It looks like I'll just have to use  
this. [extracts a Master Ball from his pocket and looks at it]

Ash: You! Who are you?

Gary: Is that a Master Ball? You'd better not be thinking of using it!

Giovanni: My name is Giovanni and I am the leader of Team Rocket. Armalypse  
shall be mine. There is nothing that you can do to stop me. Master Ball, go!

The Master Ball hits Armalypse and sucks it in. It hits the ground and rocks a  
few times, then stops.

Ash: No! Armalypse!

Gary: This is terrible! What kind of lousy security have we got?

A scientist: Eh? We have security?

Gary: Oh, for the love of... we were just reviving the world's most powerful  
Pokémon and we didn't even have any security in here?

Ash: I won't let you get away, Giovanni! Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!

Giovanni walks over to pick up the Master Ball, then sends out a Golem. A crappy  
looking CGI bolt of electricity hits the Golem, but it doesn't even seem to  
notice.

Giovanni: Golem, use Rock Throw.

Golem throws CGI rocks at Pikachu and it goes flying, looking somewhat hurt by  
the attack.

Ash: Pikachu!

Giovanni: Our fight will come later, Ketchum. [recalls Golem and leaves with the  
Team Rocket grunts]

Gary: Well, wasn't that useless?

Ash: It's like someone intended for me to be useless!

Gary: I guess so. Now that Team Rocket has Armalypse, the most powerful Pokémon  
in the world, you know what that means, don't you?

Ash: They can take over the world and we're doomed?

Gary: Exactly.

[Scene randomly changes to Jessie, James and Meowth who are standing in front of  
a cell. Misty is in the cell, shivering from the cold as she is still wearing  
only a bikini]

Jessie: Well, isn't this amusing? Who would have thought Team Rocket would be  
taking an interest in the twerp's twerpy girlfriend?

James: I wonder why Giovanni was even interested in the twerp in the first  
place. Isn't it kind of strange?

Misty: Please let me out of here, I have to be with my precious Ash because I  
love him so much! [weeps like a scared little girl who doesn't have a freaking  
clue what she's supposed to do]

Meowth: Is this really the twerp's girlfriend?

Jessie: Red headed, ugly and scrawny... yeah, of course she's the twerpette. I  
would recognise her anywhere.

Misty: I am not ugly and scrawny, you vile witch!

Jessie: Who are you calling a witch?

James: Uh, Jessie, dear, I think you should calm down.

Jessie: No way! *opens cell door and marches in, gets into a catfight with  
Misty. Somehow, most of her clothes get torn off in the process*

James: I feel like I should be feeling something watching this.

Meowth: And do you?

James: No. I guess I really am gay after all.

Meowth: So... why was the twerpette kidnapped anyway? It just don't make a lick  
of sense to me. It's not like she's a great trainer or anything.

James: Yeah, well, who really knows what the boss is thinking. Jessie, aren't  
you done trying to beat the twerpette up yet?

Jessie: No!

Misty: Quit interrupting us and go do something else!

Meowth: She sure is bossy...

James: Just like Jessie...

Meowth: I can't even tell the difference anymore.

James and Meowth sadly leave. Misty and Jessie eventually get tired of fighting  
and just settle for staring at each other from opposite ends of the cell, their  
hair dishevelled from the fight. They are panting, feeling quite tired, and  
drenched in sweat.

Jessie: Why do I feel like I got pulled into this ridiculous fanservice  
nonsense?

Misty: Uh, because you did.

Jessie: Well, crap. Now I got to get myself a new uniform. [walks out of cell,  
forgetting to lock it]

Misty: Now that was a really dumb thing to do. I guess it's time to escape.  
[waits a few minutes then leaves and runs through the corridors of the building.  
Somehow the few Rocket grunts passing by don't notice a girl in a two piece  
bikini running around. The camera suspiciously zooms in on her bouncing chest a  
few times]

Misty has just escaped through the front doors of the building when suddenly a  
helicopter lands out of nowhere. Giovanni and his Team Rocket grunts step out of  
the helicopter.

Giovanni: Are you going somewhere, Miss Misty?

Misty: Aw, rats.

Giovanni: Come on now. [drapes an arm around Misty and forcefully pulls her back  
into the building] I need you for the next step of my plan as I intend to have a  
meeting with your boyfriend and you will be the guest of honour. I sure hope  
nobody takes a picture of me in bodily contact with a sixteen year old in a  
bikini and puts it in the tabloids. [looks around nervously]

[Scene change to Ash who is in Professor Oak's laboratory. Professor Oak and  
Delia are both present. Their hair is messy and they aren't wearing all their  
clothes, but he doesn't notice this.]

Ash: So they brought the most powerful Pokémon in the world to life right there  
in the laboratory, called it Armalypse and then Team Rocket came out of nowhere.  
The leader of Team Rocket, Giovanni, was there as well and he even caught it in  
a Master Ball!

Oak: The most powerful Pokémon in the world? Really?

Ash: Well, it was, about five hundred years ago anyway. It was one of a kind for  
some weird reason and was evil and wanted to kill all humans.

Delia: That sounds like an extremely dangerous Pokémon.

Ash: Yeah, well, they thought reviving it was a good idea and now it's under  
Team Rocket's control. Professor Oak, did you ever hear about this most powerful  
Pokémon?

Oak: I can't say that I have. I'm very impressed with Gary and his team, it  
sounds like they found a really rare fossil that was completely lost from  
history. He will certainly do well in becoming the next Professor Oak. I might  
even be thinking about retiring one day.

Delia: Well, if you ever retire, you know how to spend it, don't you, Samuel?

Oak: Oh, I've already got a few ideas.

Tracey: [runs in with a notepad] Professor, there are 55 Pidgey, 10 Spearow, 20  
Rattata, 3 Raticate, 18 Caterpie, 20 Metapod, 15 Butterfree, 11 Weedle, 19  
Kakuna, 100 Beedrill-

Ash: 100 Beedrill?

Tracey: Yeah. I think they must be plotting something. Probably planning to jump  
out on unsuspecting trainers, chase them down and kill them as usual.

Oak: That's enough, Tracey, I don't need you to tell me them. In fact, maybe you  
could go out and look for a shiny Pokémon. Be quick about it.

Tracey: We have a shiny Pokémon?

Oak: Maybe.

Tracey: But I'm sure I would have noticed-

Oak: TRACEY.

Tracey: Okay, okay, I'm going! [leaves]

Ash: Professor, what should we do?

Oak: Honestly, Ash, I don't have a clue. I think you should just go deal with  
Team Rocket.

Delia: That sounds pretty dangerous though.

Oak: He'll be fine. Really.

Ash: Eh... they even kidnapped Misty. Those jerks. I wonder why they even went  
to the trouble of taking her in the first place. I would have gone and fought  
them anyway. We could take them, right, Pikachu?

Pikachu: Pika pika pika pika pika pika pika pika chu.

Ash: Ugh, Pikachu, will you quit doing that already?

Pikachu: Chu! Kachu pi pikachu pi! [looks annoyed]

Ash: Eh... alright, do whatever you like. But, man, what am I supposed to do now  
anyway? It's not like I know where Team Rocket is right now or anything.

Ash's cell phone suddenly starts ringing and he answers it.

Ash: Hello?

Giovanni: Hello, Ash.

Ash: Ah! You're Giovanni!

Giovanni: That's right.

Ash: How did you manage to get my cell phone number?

Giovanni: Classified information. Anyway, I'm going to tell you where to meet me  
so that we can have our epic showdown battle. You should show up if you wish to  
see your girlfriend alive again. I get the feeling that Armalypse might be a  
little hungry after being dead for hundreds of years.

Ash: Sheesh, you don't have to threaten me. Where do you want to meet me?

Giovanni: I wish to meet you at the top of the volcano in Cinnabar Island.

Ash: The top of a freaking volcano?

Giovanni: Yes. See you there. [hangs up]

Ash: Ugh. [puts away cellphone] Did he deliberately pick a dangerous place?  
Well, I really don't know what to expect but I know that I had better be on my  
guard. Mom, Professor Oak, I'm going to go and defeat Armalypse, put an end of  
Team Rocket and save Misty.

Delia: Well, if you actually managed to become a Pokémon Master, I guess you can  
do all that.

Oak: Yeah, I honestly never expected you to become one.

Ash: Geez, thanks for trying to make me feel good about myself. Let's go,  
Pikachu.

Pikachu: Pikachu pi kachu pika!

[Scene change to the top of Cinnabar Island's volcano. Giovanni is there with  
Misty. They are completely alone.]

Misty: Seriously, are you completely insane? Why would you pick the top of a  
volcano?

Giovanni: Well, if Armalypse is somehow defeated, I could just settle for  
pushing the brat into the lava. Or I could push you in. Maybe even both of you.

Misty: Ugh... you're not going to get away with this. Ash will stop you, I know  
he will!

Giovanni: Oh? Do you really?

Misty: Uh... yeah... [doesn't seem to really believe her words] So, why exactly  
do you want to get rid of Ash?

Giovanni: [slaps Misty] It is none of your business! Now shut your mouth, you  
hussy!

Misty: What the... [sigh] None of this even makes sense. [sits down and starts  
counting rocks, looking very bored]

[Scene changes to a long, dramatic scene with Ash climbing up the volcano with  
his bare hands. Apparently he has forgotten that he has a Charizard. Then he  
reaches the very top and walks toward Giovanni and Misty.]

Ash: Giovanni!

Giovanni: So you have finally arrived. I was starting to get a little tired of  
waiting for you.

Misty: Ash!

Ash: Have you been wearing that bikini the whole time?

Misty: Uh, yeah... and what kind of a question is that? I've been kidnapped, you  
see me again for the first time since I was kidnapped and you ask me about my  
clothes?

Ash: Giovanni! Let Misty go now! I am your opponent!

Misty: And he goes and ignores me...

Giovanni: No, I will not let her go yet. In fact... I wish to see if you can  
even defeat Armalypse first. Let's see, shall we? Go, Armalypse!

Giovanni lets out Armalypse and it flies into the air, roaring thunderously.

Ash: Very well! I choose you, Totodile!

The dancing CGI crocodile spews Water Gun at Armalypse. Armalypse grabs it in  
its claws and crushes it before dropping it to the ground. Totodile is fainted.

Ash: Ugh! Totodile, return! I choose you, Cyndaquil!

Cyndaquil appears, CGI flames spewing from its back. It tries to burn Armalypse,  
dodges its claws and runs around trying to burn Armalypse some more. Eventually,  
Armalypse hits it with its tail and slams it into the rock wall. Cyndaquil is  
soon knocked out.

Ash: Return, Cyndaquil! Okay, Pikachu, I choose you!

Pikachu fires Thunderbolt at Armalypse. It doesn't seem to have much effect  
though, but nevertheless, Ash has Pikachu try again. Armalypse hits Pikachu with  
Hyper Beam. Pikachu goes rolling to the edge of the crater and falls off.

Ash: Pikachu! [runs over and narrowly saves Pikachu] Whew... got you.

Pikachu: Pikapi!

Misty: Ash, watch out!

Ash looks over his shoulder to see Armalypse flying towards him with jaws open.  
He narrowly manages to roll out of the way and gets to his feet.

Ash: That was a really dirty trick, Giovanni!

Giovanni: Maybe you should simply watch your back then.

Ash: Ugh... I'll defeat Armalypse! Just you wait! Pikachu, Thunderbolt again!

Again, Thunderbolt is useless. Armalypse flies down, tackling Pikachu. Pikachu  
is fainted.

Ash: Ugh... good job, Pikachu. [picks up Pikachu and puts him in a safe place]  
Just wait and see, I'll take Armalypse down. Now then... I choose you,  
Bulbasaur!

Giovanni: Armalypse, Flamethrower.

Bulbasaur is roasted by Armalypse and knocked out.

Ash: Rats, I didn't realise it had a fire type move. [recalls Bulbasaur] Didn't  
I leave this at Oak's anyway? I don't understand. Now then... well, this is  
suicide, but... go, Bayleef!

Giovanni: You really are an idiot. Armalypse, Flamethrower!

Ash: Bayleef, jump into the air!

Bayleef jumps and dodges the Flamethrower.

Ash: Now use Vine Whip to grab onto Armalypse!

Bayleef wraps its vines around Armalypse.

Ash: Try and swing it around with your vines!

Giovanni: This is getting really tiring. Armalypse, use Flamethrower again.

Bayleef is unable to swing Armalypse around since it's too strong and gets hit  
by Flamethrower. It staggers back, somewhat hurt by the fire.

Ash: Don't take that nonsense from it, Bayleef, use Razor Leaf!

Bayleef hits Armalypse with a bunch of leaves. Armalypse flies down and crashes  
into it, before flying back up. Bayleef is fainted.

Ash: Good job, Bayleef. [recalls it] I'm not even going to bother with Noctowl  
because I never use it for battle anyway. Or do I have Phanpy? I really don't  
know at this point. Charizard, I choose you!

A climactic battle ensues. Charizard and Armalypse circle each other over the  
crater of the volcano, firing Flamethrowers and Hyper Beams at each other.  
Charizard manages to fly right into Armalypse and grab onto it.

Ash: Alright! Charizard, use Seismic Toss at full power!

Charizard flies around a CGI planet while holding onto Armalypse who is unable  
to break free. The two plunge right into the molten lava below.

Ash: Oh yeah, something interesting Gary told me. The guy who defeated it  
actually did so by throwing it into a volcano after getting it heavily drunk.

Giovanni: What?

Ash: It was in the guy's diary. Bet you didn't know that, did you? The bones  
were preserved in the ground after the volcano became dormant and they unearthed  
them while excavating it.

Giovanni: Then... that means...

Charizard bursts out of the volcano with a happy roar. Armalypse does not  
emerge.

Misty: It seems a little anti-climactic to me... and how did the guy even get it  
drunk?

Giovanni: No! Armalypse! No! [throws back his head and screams in defeat]

Misty: And this whole thing totally reminds me of Charizard defeating Blaine's  
Magmar. How unoriginal.

Ash: It's over, Giovanni!

Giovanni: Oh no, it isn't. [grabs Misty and laughs evilly before throwing her  
into the pit of lava below]

Ash: Charizard, catch her!

Charizard catches Misty and flies with her to safety.

Giovanni: Oh, for the love of... fine, I'll take you down right here! [takes out  
a gun and points it at Ash]

Ash: Uh, crap...

Giovanni: I've been watching you for a very long time. At last, I have the  
opportunity to take you down. No, I'm not sure how I even know about you and why  
I would even be interested in you, I just am. This is it for you, Ketchum. Too  
bad you only got to spend a little while as a Pokémon Master. [freezes and falls  
over unconscious. Gary is standing behind him.]

Gary: Good thing I put that tracker on Armalypse as a fossil, huh? It led me  
here, luckily before it apparently got destroyed.

Ash: Yeah, it probably burned up in the lava along with Armalypse. Charizard  
defeated it.

Misty: Ash! [runs up to him]

Ash: Misty, are you alright?

Misty: Yeah. Anyway, the movie's almost over so we need to have our gratuitous  
romance scene now.

Ash: Aww... do we have to?

Gary: How cute. Ashy-boy's got a girlfriend.

Ash: Gah... shut up, Gary!

Ash and Misty have a pointless romantic scene where they do nothing but kiss.  
The police come and take Giovanni away to jail. He briefly wakes up, swearing  
revenge on Ash, before he is taken away in the van. Ash, Gary and Misty go to  
Pallet Town and have a party with Professor Oak, Delia, Tracey and Brock.  
Jessie, James and Meowth are seen spying on them. The credits roll.

  
 


	5. It was the first episode of a br

It was the first episode of a brand new show that promised to expose all the  
shocking scandals behind everyone's lives and now it was about to begin. The  
audience were hollering in their seats and screaming for the show to begin, the  
cameras had just started to roll and now the show's host was walking onto the  
stage, flashing a wide, toothy grin at the cameras. He was a rather generic  
looking man who had probably been a background character at some point and he  
was wearing a white t-shirt with a picture of a Kingler on it. Apparently, being  
the host of a television show did not require him to wear smart suits or ties or  
any of that fancy stuff. Nobody really cared what he was wearing anyway, they  
just wanted to hear about the scandals.

"Thank you, thank you very much," said the man as the audience finally began  
to quiet down. He gave the camera a mock bow before launching into the  
introduction speech. "I would like to welcome you all to the very first episode  
of the Jerry Kingler show. I am your host, Jerry Kingler. This show promises to  
deliver to you all the dirty truths and lies that you can possibly imagine. I am  
here to expose all the scandalous secrets that people are hiding from even their  
loved ones. Everyone has a skeleton or two hidden in their cupboards and it is  
my duty to root out those skeletons and publicly shame my guests!"

The audience began going wild again as the first guest was brought onto the  
stage, the clueless looking Ash Ketchum who really had no idea why he was even  
here in the first place. Still, he was happy to be here if it meant he got some  
attention and appeared on TV. Ash smiled and waved at the audience, Pikachu  
sitting on his shoulder and waving at them as well.

"I have a Kingler of my own," Ash said as he sat down on the couch, looking  
at the picture on Jerry's t-shirt. He wondered what this show really had to do  
with Kinglers. Was it really even the guy's name? "It was really awesome in the

never even used it as a Krabby."

"Uh, that's nice, I guess." Jerry honestly didn't even care if Ash had a  
Kingler. "I don't actually have a Kingler of my own anyway. Now then, why don't  
you tell us a little bit about yourself, Ash?"

"I am Ash Ketchum from the town of Pallet and I am going to become a Pokémon  
Master," Ash told him. "This here is my buddy, Pikachu."

"Pika!" Pikachu smiled brightly.

"I see. Now then, do you know why you are here today?" Jerry enquired.

"Uh, well, not really," Ash admitted, his brow furrowing in a confused frown.  
"I was just told to come here. What am I doing here, Mr Kingler?"

"Your mother, Delia Ketchum, is a single woman who has raised you for ten  
years," Jerry Kingler spoke. "Strangely enough, even during your long years of  
travelling, your father has only ever been brought up once in a telephone  
conversation. Doesn't that seem a little strange to you?"

Ash slowly blinked, looking as if he was trying to find the words to say. "Uh,  
well, my father went on a Pokémon journey," he said uncertainly. "That's what my  
mom told me. He is a Pokémon trainer. I've never met him but it doesn't really  
bother me."

"It doesn't bother you?" Jerry's jaw dropped in astonishment. How could he not  
be fazed by the fact that he had never met his father? It certainly made little  
sense to the guy who wore a shirt with a Kingler on it. "Do you even know who  
your father is? What is his name?"

"Eh, well, that... I'm afraid I don't really know." Ash rubbed the back of his  
head, seeming a little sheepish. "Do you want me to go and ask my mom? I'm sure  
she can tell me."

"That won't be necessary." Jerry lowered his head, letting out a sinister  
chuckle under his breath that Ash didn't hear. "Because your mother is here  
today at the studio."

"She is?" Ash looked surprised. "She didn't tell me that she was going to be  
here as well. But then again, I haven't called her in like, forever." Whenever  
he was near a phone, it always occurred to him to call Professor Oak, rather  
than his own mother.

Delia then came onto the stage, sitting next to Ash on the couch. "Hello, Ash. I  
hope that you've been remembering to brush your teeth. Now that that lame  
dubbing company isn't in charge anymore, I'm not going to be mentioning your  
you-know-whats because it's not even that funny anyway."

"Uh... thanks, I think," Ash said uncertainly. He looked at Jerry Kingler in  
confusion. "I don't get it. Why did you ask my mom to come here?"

"So that she can tell us who your father is, duh," Jerry said, as if the answer  
should have been completely obvious. "So, Delia, won't you answer the question  
that has been plaguing the fandom for all these years. Just who is the father of  
your child?"

"Ash's father... well, he's a Pokémon trainer," Delia said uncertainly, suddenly  
appearing rather confused. Her eyes darted around as if she was looking for a  
means of escape.

"And?" Jerry pressed.

"Well, it's been a really long time and I haven't spoken to him ever since he  
left." Delia smiled awkwardly. "In fact, I don't even remember his name."

The audience all let out quiet gasps of shock. Some of them were now thinking  
very unkind thoughts about the kind of woman she was. How could she honestly not  
remember the name of her child's father?

"I knew it wasn't going to be that easy." Somehow Jerry knew just how this show  
would turn out. Rumours had it that he was in cohorts with a certain psychic gym  
leader from Saffron City. "So I asked some guests on today in the hope of  
jogging your memory."

"How can you not know my father's name?" Ash looked at his mother in  
disappointment.

"Well, ten years is a long time and I had better things to do than thinking  
about someone who's never even there," Delia replied. It was a poor excuse and  
she knew that much.

"Our first guest is Professor Samuel Oak!" Jerry announced. Professor Oak came  
onto the stage and sat in a chair. "Could the local professor, also from Pallet  
Town, be the father?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," Professor Oak said simply. "I wasn't  
even in a relationship with Delia ten years ago."

"Professor Oak can't be my father!" Ash was almost freaking out now. "Because  
that would make me Gary's... uncle..." He clutched his head in his hands,  
looking positively traumatised at the thought.

"You're in a relationship now?" Jerry asked, folding his arms and giving them a  
knowing look.

"Why, of course not!" Delia said a little too quickly, waving her hands and  
chuckling in embarrassment. "Just because we're always at each other houses and  
I'm always bringing him cookies and stuff, it doesn't mean anything. The fact we  
went to the beach together once doesn't mean anything either, I swear."

"Uh huh." Oak nodded frantically, his eyes wide.

"Yeah!" Ash of course believed them, though nobody else did. "The thought of  
my mom and Professor Oak being together... that's just gross!" He made a  
disgusted face.

Delia and Oak looked at each other in disappointment. Obviously they would be  
waiting a little while longer before they told Ash the truth about their  
relationship.

"Anyway, uh, Samuel... I mean, Professor Oak is most definitely not Ash's  
father," Delia said firmly. "I was nineteen when I gave birth and he was, what,  
thirty nine? That would have just been so wrong."

"Well then, if the Professor is indeed not Ash's father, then we'll bring in our  
next candidate," Jerry Kingler announced. "Come in, Giovanni!"

A brown haired man in an orange suit walked onto the stage and sat down in a  
chair, sharply looking at everyone in the studio with a stony expression. He did  
not seem to be a man of very many words.

"So, Giovanni..." Jerry leaned over, looking at him intently. "Do you have  
anything to tell us about yourself?"

"I am most definitely not trying to take over the world and am absolutely not  
the leader of Team Rocket," Giovanni said in a serious voice. "Also, I have no  
idea who that brat with the Pikachu is."

"Here's the funny thing," Jerry Kingler spoke. "There was a musical that  
revealed that you and Delia had a relationship in your younger days, though  
people are a little fuzzy when it comes to remembering what exactly she said  
about Ash's father then."

"Hold on," Professor Oak spoke up. "Isn't it true that musical is a purely  
American made creation? As in, Japan had nothing to do with it?"

"Uh, well, that is true," Jerry admitted.

"Then it's not even canon," Professor Oak finished. "Why would you even bother  
bringing up something like that?"

Jerry started sweating heavily and decided to change the topic quickly. "So,  
Delia, you honestly do not know the man sitting over there?"

"How could he even be my father?" Ash had been staring at Giovanni for the past  
few minutes. "He doesn't even look like me at all. Though, he does seem kind of  
familiar. I might have seen that guy somewhere before."

"I have no idea where you could possibly have seen me as I have never seen you  
before," Giovanni responded. Technically, he was kind of telling the truth since  
he had no idea Mewtwo erased his memories.

"I don't even know who he is," Delia said helplessly. "The name Giovanni means  
nothing to me."

"Alright then." Jerry rubbed his forehead tiredly and let out a long sigh.  
Exposing dirty secrets was harder than he thought it would be. "Why don't we  
just bring in our third candidate and get this over with? Bring on the  
painting." They hadn't been able to get hold of the actual candidate, due to  
some difficulties, and had to make do with a painting instead.

Ash, Delia, Professor Oak and Giovanni watched on as a man came onto the  
stage with a painted picture of a rainbow coloured bird soaring over the  
rainbow.

"Hey, isn't that supposed to be Ho-Oh?" Ash leaned forward and stared at the  
painting. "But what does a painting of Ho-Oh have to do with this?"

"Does this painting jog any memories, Delia?" Jerry Springer asked. "Now, I  
know it might be difficult to admit, but supposing you just maybe slipped up  
and... well, slept with a legendary bird Pokémon?" He made a disgusted noise.  
"This is ridiculous."

"What?" Delia blinked. "You think I slept with Ho-Oh?"

"What's wrong with that? I sleep with Pikachu all the time," Ash spoke, not  
quite getting it.

"This boy is an idiot," Giovanni stated, getting to his feet. "There is no  
way he can possibly be related to me and I have better things to do than sit  
through this sorry excuse for a show. Now, if you don't mind, I will be  
leaving." He turned around and walked off the stage.

"That's crazy." Professor Oak shook his head in bewilderment. "How drunk  
would you have to be to even think about doing that with a Pokémon?"

"I can't believe you think Ho-Oh might be Ash's father!" Delia exclaimed,  
looking annoyed at Jerry. "Ash is one hundred percent human."

"Hey, now, wait a minute. I'm not the one coming up with the candidates,"  
Jerry said defensively. "Well, now, we have ascertained that Ash's father is not  
Professor Oak, Giovanni or Ho-Oh. However, we can find out who his father is!"

"Really?" Ash exclaimed in surprise.

"How can that be possible?" Delia asked in confusion. "Even I don't know and  
I'm the mother."

"Come in, Sabrina!" Jerry Kingler waved a hand. A moment later, a woman with  
piercing red eyes and long green hair strolled onto the stage.

"Sabrina's my father?" Ash shrieked in horror. He blinked and then frowned  
intently. "Hold on, that can't be right."

"Unbelievable," Professor Oak muttered, placing his head in his hands and  
sighing heavily. It was positively amazing how dense Ash could be at times.

"I don't understand. Who is she?" Delia stared at Sabrina.

"I am a psychic gym leader from Saffron City," Sabrina said calmly. She  
looked at Ash with a piercing gaze. "It is going to be a very, very long time  
before you ever become a Pokémon Master, so don't hold your breath." Ash let out  
a cry of dismay. Sabrina then looked at Professor Oak. "You are thinking about  
the wild time you had last night with that woman sitting on the couch."

"Samuel!" Delia exclaimed in shock as Professor Oak went bright red.

"Sorry, I'm getting really bored and, well, you are sitting right there after  
all." Professor Oak chuckled in embarrassment. "It's hard not to think about  
you."

"Wild time?" Ash looked at Delia questioningly. "What did you do last night,  
Mom?"

"Oh, er, we went out and looked for wild Pokémon," Delia quickly lied.

"At night?" Ash frowned.

"Yeah, to see nocturnal Pokémon." Delia smiled awkwardly.

"Oh, I see." Ash looked at Sabrina. "So, why are you here anyway?"

"To tell you who your father is," Sabrina responded, closing her eyes and  
concentrating. "Yes, it's coming to me now. It is becoming quite clear. I see  
your mother is in danger. An evil team has sent a giant cyborg Pokémon from the  
future to try and exterminate her and prevent the birth of her son, who will  
later save the world from them."

"What?" Professor Oak, Delia, Ash and Jerry all exclaimed together, as the  
audience let out a loud, collective 'Huh?'

"Silence, I am trying to concentrate," Sabrina snapped, her eyes still  
closed. "However, a man has saved her, a man who was sent from the future by Ash  
himself to save her from the deadly cyborg Pokémon and also himself."

"Mom, I swear I never sent anyone into the past," Ash whispered.

"I believe you, honey," Delia whispered back, looking fazed.

"The man that Ash sent back into the past..." Sabrina frowned intently. "He  
is close to Ash."

"He is? Where?" Ash looked around in confusion.

"Close, as in friends!" Sabrina snapped in annoyance. Ash froze, looking  
sheepish "I can see him... for some reason, he does not open his eyes."

"A friend who does not open his eyes." Professor Oak looked shocked. "Why,  
that son of a..."

"Shall I bring him on?" Sabrina asked. "That creep came backstage and tried  
to flirt with me, so I punched him in the nuts. He's probably recovered by now."

"Bring him on," Professor Oak said in a venomous voice.

"Now, calm down, Samuel," Delia said nervously. "He probably isn't even aware  
of all this yet. Ash just said he never sent anybody back into the past."

"I don't understand!" Ash yelled. "Who is my father already?"

"Here he is," Jerry said with a big grin as Brock came bouncing onto the  
stage, arms spread wide open.

"Sabrina!" Brock cried out, his eyes forming hearts. "I knew you would come  
to see it my way! We really are meant to be together!"

Sabrina sighed in disgust and brought up a knee, slamming it into Brock's  
stomach. Brock whimpered and sank to his knees.

"Brock, what are you doing here?" Ash looked around and then let out an  
awkward laugh. "Come on, guys, that's just ridiculous. There's no way that Brock  
could possibly be my father. That's insane."

"He could be if he was sent back into the past and slept with your mother  
before you were born." Sabrina crossed her arms and smiled devilishly. Maybe  
this show wasn't so bad after all.

"I don't understand." Brock whimpered. "What's all this talk about me being  
Ash's father?" Suddenly, Professor Oak loomed over him. "Uh, hello, Professor  
Oak."

"I will teach you to sleep with the woman I love," Professor Oak said in a  
menacing voice, lifting Brock up by the shirt.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" the audience chanted.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Delia stood up, looking horrified as Professor  
Oak punched Brock and dropped him to the floor. "Samuel, you are being  
completely unreasonable!"

"No way!" Ash screamed, falling to the floor and clutching his head. It was  
just completely insane. There was no way that Brock could possibly be his  
father. That meant Brock would have had to do things with his mother and the  
idea of that was just frightening.

"What are you saying?" Brock struggled to his feet. "I never slept with Mrs  
Ketchum. Nothing happened during those couple of weeks we spent together after I  
left the Orange Islands, I swear!"

"I never wondered why you stayed at her house instead of going home... until  
now." Professor Oak tried to punch him again, but Brock quickly ducked.

"You're crazy!" Brock shoved him.

"Did you just shove me?" Professor Oak asked angrily.

"I sure did!" Brock exclaimed.

Ash was now rocking back on the floor, muttering to himself with wide eyes.  
He just couldn't get his head around this. Delia was shouting at Professor Oak  
and Brock as they started fighting. The audience was cheering even louder now,  
egging them on to fight.

"Ah, look at them fight." Sabrina walked over to stand next to Jerry. "This  
show actually seems pretty fun. Speaking of fun, I spent all last night watching  
the Terminator movies and even the TV series."

Jerry turned his head and gave her a long stare. "Sabrina... was any of that  
actually true?"

Sabrina let out a long giggle. "Heh, no! But the truth was so boring that I  
thought I would make stuff up just for fun. See, now you've got the dirty  
scandal and fighting. Isn't that what you wanted?"

A hushed silence fell over the studio as everyone heard Sabrina. The audience  
stopped chanting, Brock released the hold he had on Professor Oak's shirt and  
lowered the fist he had been about to slam right into his face. Delia turned  
around with a homicidal expression appearing on her face. Ash started to look  
very confused.

"Uh, whoops." Sabrina smiled awkwardly. "You want the truth? The truth is,  
Ash's father is just some deadbeat dad who has never appeared on the show simply  
because the writers haven't felt like making him appear yet. Are you people all  
crazy or something?"

"Brock's not my father?" Ash said in a dazed voice. "Why would you say Brock  
was my father?"

"Sorry about that," Professor Oak said nervously with a light chuckle,  
stepping away from Brock. "You know, I'm just a little protective of the woman  
that I love."

"Oh, it's no problem really," Brock said, rubbing his face where he had been  
punched. "If Mrs Ketchum wasn't Ash's mom, believe me, I would hit on her." This  
was the wrong thing to say. Professor Oak couldn't resist punching him in the  
nose and he collapsed to the floor, moaning and holding his nose in pain.

"You cheeky little..." Delia stormed, marching up to Sabrina. "You think you  
can just go making up filthy lies, confusing my poor boy and making everyone  
fight? Even I started to believe it for a moment!"

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" the audience shouted.

"You are all such losers." Sabrina glared at the audience. "Whatever, I am so  
out of here." She reached back to flip her long hair then teleported out. The  
audience then gasped at her awesome psychic abilities.

"This whole show is just a pathetic waste of time. Who really needs to hang  
around and hear a pack of lies?" Professor Oak asked, looking disgusted. "We  
should just leave." Before Jerry could even protest, Professor Oak and Delia had  
walked off the stage together. Ash was still curled up in a confused,  
traumatised heap, his brain having been blown wide open by the idea of Brock  
being his father.

"Well, that was just crazy." Brock got to his feet. "Hey, Ash, let's get out  
of here before that guy with the Kingler on his shirt tries to do more crazy  
stuff. Don't you have Pokémon training to do?"

"Pokémon training?" Ash was suddenly back to normal, jumping to his feet with  
an enthusiastic look. "Okay then, let's go!"

Jerry Kingler sighed and buried his face in his hands as the audience started  
booing and throwing things. The show never got to have another episode again.

Unfortunately for Ash, the studio was still keen on doing another show and  
two people and a Meowth were very happy to try it. They needed the money after  
all and if they could get it from running shows with recycled concepts, then the  
better off they would be. They could afford food and machines to steal Pokémon  
with.

So Ash was called back to the studio. Apparently it was a dating game show where  
he could ask questions and hopefully get the girl of his dreams. He wasn't even  
interested in that, but the studio had threatened him in various ways that  
scared him. When Brock heard about it, he had broken down crying and sworn never  
to speak to Ash again. Ash had a feeling he would soon get over it though so he  
wasn't worried.

A red haired woman stood on the stage, wearing an outrageous outfit and smiling  
for the camera. A blue haired man held up the camera, pointing it at her. He was  
accompanied by a Meowth in a hat and a Wobbuffet.

"I am proud to present the very first episode of our new show," Jessie spoke.  
"Love, Pokémon Style! I am your host, Jessalina!" She posed for the camera,  
obviously enjoying getting the chance to appear on TV. "On the show, a lucky  
person will have the chance to go on a date with another person, but the catch  
is, they must pick from three people after asking a series of questions. Will  
they find their soulmate or will it be a complete bust?"

The audience clapped and cheered as Jessie performed even more poses and showed  
off for the camera. James and Meowth were starting to look a bit exasperated  
with her behaviour.

"Come on, Jessie," James groaned. "The show's not all about you, you know."

"Yeah, let's get on with it, shall we?" Meowth demanded.

Jessie walked over to the chair where Ash was sitting and staring despondently  
at the floor with Pikachu in his lap. "Our male contestant for today is the  
twerp!" Ash jerked his head up, looking at her in surprise. "Uh, I mean, Ash  
Ketchum of Pallet Town!"

"Yay," Ash muttered, hanging his head as the audience cheered again. "Somebody  
please get me out of here." He wasn't quite so keen on this whole being on TV  
thing now, especially not if it involved being in silly gameshows.

"Pika pi!" Pikachu waved his arms and smiled, enjoying the attention.

"Now then, do you know what you have to do?" Jessie asked, holding a card out  
toward him.

"Sneak out of here and hope nobody notices?" Ash asked, not even bothering to  
look up.

"No!" Jessie exclaimed, putting a hand on her hip and looking annoyed. "See this  
here card? You ask a question on the card to Number One, Two and Three. See,  
they are even numbered one, two and three to help you. Any further questions?"

"Yes. Can I leave?" Ash enquired. Jessie threw the card at him and he picked it  
up, frowning as he read it. "Guess I'm not getting out of this so easily."

Jessie turned back to the camera with a big grin, walking past the partition  
that blocked Ash's view of the contestants on the other side. "Three young  
ladies are waiting on this side of the screen, hoping to be picked. Let's talk  
to them, shall we?" She scooted over to chair number one where a red haired girl  
was sitting. "Tell us about yourself!"

"I am Misty, the most beautiful girl in the world and also the gym leader of  
Cerulean City," replied Misty. "I sure hope my sisters can handle running it  
while I'm away. I absolutely love Water Pokémon."

"That's nice," Jessie said in a dismissive tone as she moved to the next chair.  
The occupant was a brunette co-ordinator. "And you?"

"May from Petalburg City," May said, looking at the camera with a big smile. "I  
am a co-ordinator and hope to become one of the best. I also like to travel and  
noodles are my favourite food."

"Uh huh." Jessie walked to the third chair, where a blue haired girl was  
sitting. "How about you?"

"I am Dawn from Twinleaf Town, I want to become a top co-ordinator like my  
mother," said Dawn. She held up Piplup, who was sitting in her lap. "This is my  
first Pokémon, Piplup. Isn't it just so cute and adorable?"

"Piplup, pip," Piplup said in a voice that demanded everyone pay attention it.

"Jeez, everyone's a twerp," James muttered, still holding the camera. "Could we  
honestly not have been a little more original?"

"Eh, this show's a load of crap anyway," Meowth murmured. "So long as we get our  
money, that's really all that matters."

After Jessie rambled on a bit more, it was time for Ash to start asking  
questions to the girls on the other side of the stage. He had no idea who they  
were, thanks to the sophisticated voice changing system in place, and was a  
little worried but he had no choice but to do this.

"Number One," Ash said. "You have a Pokémon that performs poorly in battle.  
What do you do?"

"Ugh, are you kidding me?" Misty yelled. "I know what it's like to have a  
useless Pokémon. No matter how many times I kick it or beat it up, it just  
remains a useless piece of crap. It's only useful when it has a freaking  
headache! What am I supposed to do, get it drunk every night?" She broke off,  
realising that everyone was staring at her, and mentally cursed herself for  
losing her temper. Now everyone thought she was weird. Great.

"She beats up her Pokémon?" Ash muttered to himself, shocked at the thought. He  
did not like the thought of people abusing their Pokémon one bit. "Uh, Number  
Two, what is your favourite Pokémon type?"

"Eh... well, I'm not exactly sure," May said. "I started with a fire type, but I  
do have other types as well. I mostly seem to have normal type Pokémon."

"Number three. Do you like contests or gym battles?" Ash looked really bored and  
sounded like it as well.

"Contests!" Dawn replied. "But anything where I get to whore out Piplup all the  
time is great. I just really like to do contests though, especially since my mom  
did them too."

The next round of questions started.

"Number one, what are your pet peeves?"

"Bugs, carrots, peppers... oh yeah, and Ash Ketchum!" Misty hadn't realised it  
was Ash on the other side of the screen. "He used to be the biggest pain in the  
ass, though he's not so bad anymore, but still... geez!"

Ash stared at the screen, his mouth hanging open.

"Pika... pikapi..." Pikachu waved his paws in front of Ash's face, trying to get  
his attention. "Pika?"

"Uh... right." Ash looked at the card again. It wouldn't do well to pick a fight  
with whoever was on the other side of the screen. "Number two, talk about a  
treasured possession of yours."

"That's easy. My half of the Terracotta Ribbon that I got after a contest I  
entered in ended in a draw. The other half belongs to someone who is very close  
to me." May answered. "It helps me to feel confident when I'm in contests and  
thinking of him really helps as well."

"They are Misty, May and Dawn, aren't they?" Ash muttered to Pikachu. "What are  
the chances of that happening? I think this must be a deliberate set up.  
Anyway," he said, louder this time. "Number Three, who was your first Pokémon?"

"Piplup, of course." Dawn thrust Piplup toward the camera as if nobody could see  
it. "I love to use my precious Piplup all the time, I don't even care much about  
my other Pokémon, it's all about Piplup because Piplup is so amazing and stuff.  
Right, Piplup?"

Ash looked at the card. For the next set of questions, there weren't any  
questions. Instead, it said he could ask whatever he liked. "Okay, let's have  
some fun then. Number One, do you have a hard time being really scrawny?"

"WHAT?" Misty yelled furiously. "What kind of a stupid question is that? I'm not  
scrawny! How do you even know what I look like, you jerk? Obviously, you don't,  
because I am most definitely not scrawny, so there!" She sat back in her seat,  
looking huffy.

"Heh, got her back, didn't I?" Ash smiled to himself. "Okay, Ma... I mean,  
Number Two, would you like to go an all you can eat buffet?" He had two tickets  
to one and nobody to come with him so far. It was a very strange way to ask  
someone, but he didn't care.

"Heck, yeah!" May punched the air. "I would love to!"

"Okay, let's finish this." Ash put the card down. "Number Three, name an  
electric squirrel Pokémon."

"Uh... an electric squirrel..." Dawn blinked. "Wait, I have that Pokémon... it's  
Pachirisu." The audience, Jessie, James and Meowth stared in disbelief at her.  
"Uh, I answered that question a little too slowly, didn't I?"

"Alright!" Jessie leaped in front of the camera and showed off some more.  
"Now that the twer... Ash has asked his questions, it is time to find out who he  
will pick!" She walked over to Ash with a grin. "Well, who are you going to  
pick?"

"Uh... May, I guess," Ash replied. He didn't really care, he just wanted to get  
out of here as soon as ossible.

"Is that so? Well then, let's lower this screen here so that you can talk to the  
girls you rejected and the girl you chose!" Jessie grinned, pushing a lever. The  
screen started coming down.

"Oh crap. I'm dead." Ash looked at the screen in horror. In a moment, Misty  
would see him and kill him for calling her scrawny. As if her calling him a pain  
in the ass had been any better.

Misty was over the screen in seconds, running over and grabbing him by the front  
of his jacket, yelling in his face. "Scrawny? ME? You think that I am scrawny? I  
ought to teach you a lesson, you-"

"Hey, hey, you're wasting time," Jessie said stonily, pulling Misty off Ash.  
"Get out of here, twerpette." She flashed a big smile at the camera. James  
decided now was a good time to get a shot of Dawn and May instead as they came  
walking over.

"I'll get you later!" Misty yelled, running off the stage.

"Wow, that girl is really scary," Dawn commented. She ran in front of the camera  
and shoved Piplup in front of it. Piplup smiled happily. "Hey, check out my  
Piplup!"

"Hey, twerpette, you're blocking the view!" Meowth snapped. "Clear off, will ya?"

"I'm never doing this again," James said flatly, pushing Dawn aside.

"Check out these tickets," Ash was saying to May, showing her the tickets. "I  
got them as a prize for winning a battle. I figured that you would want to come  
along."

"Awesome!" May said happily. "Let's go right now! Can we?"

"Beats hanging around this dumb studio," Ash replied. The two of them promptly  
ran off. Dawn was still standing on the stage, looking confused.

"Well, I guess that's that," James said. "Show's over."

"Are we going to have another episode?" Jessie asked. "I really do like being  
the star of my show."

Unfortunately for her, James and Meowth were against the idea, especially  
when they got plenty of money just for the one episode. Yet another show ended  
up being canned. The studio gave up on recycling ideas for shows and promptly  
shut down and was never spoken of again.

On a completely unrelated note, Sunyshore City had seen better times. There were  
times when it was a peaceful city with nothing to worry about. It was a nice  
little resort and people loved to come there and relax on the beach. That all  
changed the day the city became awash in flames and people were running away in  
terror from the gigantic Ninetales. It was ten times the size of average  
Ninetales and ten times more ferocious. It went on a crazy rampage, smashing  
everything in its path and setting everything on fire.

In Sunyshore City's moment of peril, Volkner, the gym leader, realised that he  
had to do something. He rushed out with his electric type Pokémon and began  
bravely battling the Ninetales, struggling to drive it back to where it had came  
from. However, the Ninetales was extremely powerful and it overpowered his  
Pokémon. They lay weak and exhausted on the ground, Volkner staring up at the  
beast with a hopeless expression. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now.

At that moment, Flint, not Brock's father but the Elite Four Flint, came running  
up to Volkner, clutching a newborn baby in his arms. "Hey, Volkner, remember  
that time nine months ago we, er, got a little drunk and... experimented?"

Volkner gave him an annoyed stare. "Can't you see I'm trying to fend off some  
insane demonic Ninetales that's attempting to destroy the city? Whose baby is  
that anyway?"

"It's ours. I know, it makes no sense, but some people are really into the whole  
male pregnancy thing, you know, so why not just throw it in out of nowhere?"  
Flint held out the baby to Volkner. "This baby is our son. Seriously. That's why  
I was getting so fat and craving weird food."

"For the love of-" No, now was not the time to get mad at him. This was probably  
just some sick joke that he thought was hilariously funny. Volkner looked up at  
the snarling, drooling Ninetales and an idea occurred to him. He would just use  
this weird ability that he somehow had to defeat the Ninetales. "Give me the  
baby."

Flint did so. Volkner promptly did some weird spell that ripped out the  
Ninetales's soul and shoved it into the baby's stomach, sealing it in there.

"What did you just do to our baby?" Flint exclaimed in horror. The Ninetales  
collapsed, its eyes lifeless.

"I made sure... Sunyshore City would despise the baby... for the rest of its  
life..." Volkner fell to his knees, sweating. "Aren't I a jerk? Flint... I love  
you... goodbye." He collapsed, his eyes closing shut.

"Volkner?" Flint rapidly shook Volkner's body, realising that he was dead. "This  
can't be... he can't be dead... what am I supposed to do now you're gone?" For  
some reason, he felt tempted to quit being an Elite Four member and go start up  
a burger chain, but he ignored it. "Noooooo!"

Volkner woke up then, sitting up in bed with wide eyes. He shakily got out of  
the bed and walked into the bathroom. Someone was there, using the shower. He  
walked up and pulled open the door, revealing Flint standing there and sponging  
himself.

"Flint? I just had a weird dream," Volkner said. "You got pregnant after we had  
sex and I was fighting a demon Ninetales and put it inside our baby then I  
died."

Flint just stared at him, wondering if it was a joke or not.


	6. Jessie

Jessie, James and Meowth were incredibly bored. They were walking around some  
random filler town, stalking the twerps as usual, and had no idea what to do.  
They couldn't afford some fancy machine at the moment and didn't really feel  
like trying to steal Pok魯n after their previous failure. So, they were just  
walking around and looking very bored when they caught sight of an interesting  
looking shop.

"Hey, what's this?" Meowth looked up at the shop's sign. "Pokémon Magic Shop.  
All the spells and potions to keep you entertained." He looked at Jessie and  
James with a sly grin. "Are you two thinking what I am thinking?"

"Unless you're thinking about that hot guy over there with the nice ass, no,"  
James replied, looking over at a hot looking guy staring into a shop window on  
the opposite side of the street. Jessie slapped him in the back of the head and  
he winced, turning around with a sheepish expression. "What is it?"

"Maybe all we need is a little magic," Jessie said with a devious smile. "If a  
spell is what we need to deal with those pesky twerps and steal their Pokémon,  
then why not?"

Jessie, James and Meowth wasted no time in entering the store. A sweet, musky  
smell wafted through the air. The shelves on the side were stacked with filled  
bottles and jars, as well as packets of various odd looking things. A few books  
were stacked on a table in the center of the room. A woman wearing a veil, with  
red lacquered fingernails, sat at the counter with a crystal ball before her.

"Welcome," spoke the woman in a soft, haunting tone. "I foresaw your arrival."  
She waved her hands over the crystal ball, humming rhythmically. "Yes, I see it  
now... your names are Jessie, James and Meowth, and you three are members of a  
group known as Team Rocket, who steal Pokémon."

Jessie, James and Meowth flinched and began nervously backing toward the door,  
watching the woman with wide, fearful eyes. Suddenly, they felt as if they would  
simply be better off running away and never coming back. How could the strange  
woman even know who they were? It was downright creepy.

"Do not be afraid," the woman said, raising her gaze toward them. "Please, come  
closer and let me read your futures for you. I can see your destinies lying  
ahead of you. Wouldn't you like to know what's in store?"

The idea of having their futures read sounded tempting enough and the three Team  
Rocket members walked over to the counter, looking at the woman in wide eyed  
curiosity.

"Hmm, let me see," the woman murmured, waving her hands over the crystal ball.  
Her eyes widened. "Yes, it is becoming very clear now. The clouds are parting  
and I see the future." Her head snapped up and she pointed at Jessie. "You will  
never marry or have children. You will become a lonely old spinster with a  
houseful of cats!"

"Cats?" Jessie looked down at Meowth doubtfully. "Wait a minute!" she yelled  
angrily. "What do you mean that I will never marry? One day I will find a  
handsome man and we will marry and spend the rest of our lives together." She  
clasped her hands together and sighed dreamily, a smile on her face.

"Sure, dear, believe whatever you like," the woman said in a dismissive tone,  
again waving her hands over the crystal ball and looking at it intently. Her  
head jerked up and she pointed at James with a trembling finger. "You will have  
a sex change operation in a desperate effort to bag the man of your dreams!"

James blinked once, blinked twice, then raised an eyebrow in sheer incredulity.  
"Okay, you see, I actually like having a wang." Jessie and Meowth looked at him  
oddly. "I couldn't think of a better way to put it!" he snapped at them.  
"Anyway, who is the man of my dreams?"

"Hmm, I am trying to see, but his face is very blurry," said the woman,  
squinting at the crystal ball. "At the moment... he is a teen, I believe, and  
his eyes... I do not know why, but it seems his eyes do not open. Also, he has  
brown hair, short and spiky. That is all I can see, I am afraid. Wait a minute,  
I am seeing something else. His name, it begins with a B."

A dead silence fell over the shop as James just stared at the woman in  
disbelief. Eventually, the silence was broken by the sound of Jessie and Meowth  
bursting out laughing.

"Seriously, James, the man of your dreams is one of the twerps?" Jessie asked  
between bouts of laughter. "That's a little below yourself, isn't it?"

"Considering that twerp only ever goes ga-ga for the girls, it's no wonder you  
would have to change your gender," Meowth said with a grin.

"No way!" James yelled, grabbing his head. "This is ridiculous! I'm never  
getting a sex change operation and I sure wouldn't be going for one of the  
twerps!" Never mind the fact he had burst into tears and hugged him once during  
a competition, and even held hands with him. As far as James was concerned, he  
was definitely not gay for Brock.

"Silence," requested the woman, returning her gaze to the crystal ball. She  
hummed and waved her hands for a third time, before looking toward Meowth. "You  
will end up completely losing your mind and be committed to an asylum for the  
mentally unsound. Your mind, it is already well on the way to going."

"What kind of a prediction is that?" Meowth snapped. "This woman is nothing but  
a fraud! I don't think that anything she says is even true."

"A lot of people are unwilling to believe me at first," the woman said in a calm  
voice. "But then they realise I was right and end up feeling sorry that they did  
not believe me in the first place. I know everything." She looked at Jessie.  
"Your mother disappeared when you were a child." She looked toward James. "You  
have a fiancée into BDSM whom you fear greatly." Then she looked at Meowth. "You  
were rejected by another Meowth even after you learned to walk and talk for  
her."

Jessie, James and Meowth clung together, feeling creeped out again.

"Now then." The woman sat back in her chair. "You came into my shop because you  
were hoping you might find a way to deal with some pesky people you refer to as  
twerps, and I have just the thing for that."

"You do?" James asked hopefully.

"Excellent!" Jessie clasped her hands and smiled. "Now we're talking!"

The woman held out a small bottle containing a viscous pink liquid. "This is a  
transformation potion. It has the power to turn a human into a Pokémon. Use it  
wisely and perhaps you will find yourself some success."

"A transformation potion?" Meowth looked up at it as Jessie took it from the  
woman. The three of them stared at it in wonder. "So, I guess maybe we could try  
turning one of the twerps into a Pokémon then? How much does it cost anyway?"

"Do not worry about the cost," the woman said. "I will let you take it for free.  
In your troubled times, you clearly need to have a break once in a while. Go on  
and put it to good use. Oh, and beware of falling water when you leave."

Jessie, James and Meowth looked at her oddly then stepped out of the shop. A  
woman in the apartment above promptly emptied her tub over their heads, causing  
them to scream and run for it. Once they were out of danger, they returned to  
their balloon and went to look for the twerps.

Eventually, they came across Ash, May, Dawn and Brock, who were currently  
hanging out with some Character of the Day for some absurd reason. It was  
probably just because of some completely trivial problem the Character of the  
Day had that they felt was worth wasting their time over.

Suddenly, things exploded and they looked up in shock to see Jessie, James and  
Meowth in their balloon.

"Team Rocket!" Ash shouted.

"You guys are planning to steal Lyle's Bidoof, aren't you?" Dawn guessed.

"What Bidoof?" Meowth asked.

"That Bidoof!" May pointed at the Bidoof that the Character of the Day, whose  
name was Lyle, was holding in his arms.

"Please don't steal my Bidoof!" Lyle snivelled. "It is very unwell and I'm  
making these nice people help me find some Oran Berries to make it better, and  
then they are going to watch me battle with it and then it will evolve!"

"Yeah, so why don't you just wait until it evolves and then steal it?" Dawn  
asked dryly, still looking up at Team Rocket.

"Hey, wait a minute." Brock had just noticed a Pokémon Center. "There's a  
Pokémon Center right over there. Why are we helping him find Oran Berries when  
he could just take it over there?"

Everyone shot suspicious looks at Lyle, who cringed when he realised his time  
wasting ruse had been exposed. It was his duty as the designated Character of  
the Day to deliberately waste their precious time after all. Then a Starly flew  
over and crapped on his head. "Waaaaaah!" he cried in hysterics, running to the  
Pokémon Center with tears in his eyes.

"Okay, that was random." May put her hands on her hips and frowned. "So, what  
are you guys up to?" she asked, looking at the balloon.

"Is that a voice I hear?"

"It's calling to me loud and clear."

"On the wind."

"Past the stars."

"In your ear."

"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."

"Dashing hope, bringing fear in its place."

"A rose by any other name smells just as sweet."

"When everything's worse, our work is complete."

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"And Meowth, now dat's a name!"

"Putting the do-gooders in their place,"

"Team Rocket..."

"We're in your face!"

"That doesn't really answer my question." May's eyebrow twitched.

"You guys are up to something again, aren't you?" Ash shouted.

"Take this!" James threw the potion and it landed at Ash's feet. The bottle  
shattered and the liquid splashed everywhere. A massive cloud of pink smoke rose  
and engulfed Ash, making it impossible to see him. May, Dawn and Brock all  
watched on with horrified expressions, wondering just what Team Rocket had done.

When the smoke cleared, Ash was still standing, but now there was something very  
different about his appearance. He was now a Pikachu, wearing a hat, despite the  
fact he wasn't wearing any other clothes. The fur on his head stuck out in wild  
tufts where his hair would normally be and his eyes were the same.

"What's going on here?" Ash looked around in surprise. "Did you just shrink me?"

"Um... Ash... it's not that you shrunk..." Dawn said hesitantly.

"Oh man, it's happened again." Brock sighed.

"Again?" May and Dawn repeated, looking at him curiously.

"Back during our travels in Johto, a Pokémon Magician transformed Ash into a  
Pikachu for a while," Brock explained. "The spell didn't really last that long,  
so we might not need to worry."

"Well, that's a relief," May said happily, turning to look at Ash who was now  
realising his predicament and looked absolutely horrified. "So, if Ash is a  
Pikachu, then do we call him Ashachu?"

"Ashachu? I like it!" Dawn said eagerly.

"I'm a Pikachu again?" Ash stared at his paws. "I really hope this doesn't  
last."

"Pikapi!" Pikachu walked up to him, grinning. "Pikachu pika!"

"He's so cute!" May snatched up Ash and squeezed him tightly. Ash whimpered in  
complaint.

"May, I'm not really a Pikachu!" Ash gasped out as May continued to hug him.  
"Let me go!"

"Can I hold him too?" Dawn asked excitedly. Ash did not like that idea one bit,  
but May handed him over much to his chagrin and Dawn proceeded to give him a big  
hug. "He's so soft and warm!"

"Chu." Pikachu sweat dropped in disbelief. He could simply not believe the  
attention his trainer was getting, all because he had been transformed into a  
Pikachu.

"Brock, help me!" Ash waved his arms helplessly.

"Okay, girls, that's enough," Brock said finally, taking Ash away from Dawn,  
much to his relief. "So, Ash, are you looking forward to trying some of my  
Pokémon food?" Ash gave him a horrified look. "Relax, I was kidding."

"Uh, hello?" Jessie called out, reminding them of Team Rocket's presence.

"Hey, what do we do now that we turned the twerp into a Pokémon?" James  
frantically whispered.

"Think about it!" Meowth grinned. "The boss will be so fascinated by a human  
that turned into a Pokémon, he will surely be happy with this unique Pikachu.  
And with those eyes, it's quite obvious he's no ordinary Pikachu."

"Why don't we just take both Pikachu while we're at it?" Jessie asked.

Now that their hushed conversation was over, Team Rocket threw a volley of  
explosives at the twerps to distract them then deployed a small machine with two  
grabbing hands attached that wrapped themselves around Ash, who had flown out of  
Brock's arms, and Pikachu. When the smoke cleared, Dawn, May and Brock looked up  
in surprise to see Ash and Pikachu in the clutches of Team Rocket and the  
balloon itself was moving away fast.

"Now we got ourselves two Pikachu!" Meowth had wasted no time in trapping Ash  
and Pikachu inside glass containers with lightbulbs on the top. Pikachu tried to  
shock its way out, but only ended up illuminating the attached bulb.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Ash yelled, slamming his paws against the side of  
the glass. "Let us go now!"

"No way!" Jessie said. "We're going to take both you and Pikachu to our boss,  
then we can get a promotion."

"Why would you want to take me?" Ash looked up at them in confusion.

"Why not?" James retaliated. "The boss will be amazed when he sees a Pokémon  
that used to be a human. How many Pokémon out there used to be humans anyway?  
Mystery Dungeon doesn't count, obviously."

Ash gritted his teeth in frustration, looking at Pikachu who was desperately  
pressing his paws against the glass and looking anxious. Obviously, an electric  
attack wouldn't work so he would just have to think of something else. "Pikachu,  
use Iron Tail to break the glass!"

"What the?" Meowth watched in shock as Pikachu began slamming its glowing  
tail against the glass. Cracks appeared on the surface. "Hey, quit it!" Pikachu,  
of course, did not do as he said and promptly broke through the glass. He  
proceeded to run over and break the glass surrounding Ash as well.

"Oh, crap," James and Jessie said in unison.

"Now you're in for it!" Ash said, standing next to Pikachu as they faced Team  
Rocket with annoyed expressions. "Pikachu, use Thunderbolt now!"

"Are you nuts?" Meowth asked in disbelief. "You'll blast off too!"

"Yeah, well, it's better than being captured," Ash replied.

"Pikachuuuu!" Pikachu let off a fierce thunderbolt that caused something to blow  
up and then the entire balloon exploded. Ash barely managed to grab Pikachu and  
hold on as they went flying into the air. Jessie, James and Meowth went flying  
into the opposite direction.

"Team Rocket's blasting off again!" Team Rocket screamed, vanishing in a flash  
of light.

Ash and Pikachu continued to sail through the air, eventually coming down and  
having a safe landing in a nice patch of grass. However, they both landed on  
their heads and ended up getting knocked unconscious from it. Eventually, they  
both awoke and sat up, groggily rubbing their heads and looking around in  
confusion.

"Pikachu, pika," Pikachu muttered, looking dazed. As usual, his trainer was a  
complete idiot, but he really hadn't had any choice but to follow his orders  
then, especially where escaping from Team Rocket was concerned. It was just pure  
misfortune that there was nobody to catch them when they fell.

"Argh, my head really hurts." Ash complained. "I didn't realise we'd got so far  
away from the others already. I was hoping they would be around to catch us. So  
where did we even get to?"

"Pikachu." Pikachu shook its head, looking clueless.

"Well, I guess we might as well take a look around," said Ash. "Hopefully we'll  
find the others soon." He scampered off with Pikachu in pursuit.

Meanwhile, Jessie, James and Meowth had landed in a nearby pond. They dragged  
themselves out and wringed the water out of their clothes miserably. Except for  
Meowth, who just shook himself dry of course. When they had recovered from that  
blasting off, they huddled together to discuss whatever it was they were  
supposed to do now.

"Obviously, capturing the twerp and Pikachu together wasn't the best idea,"  
Jessie pointed out. "The twerp can still order Pikachu around and figure his way  
out of the situation."

"The twerp himself probably can't do anything a Pikachu can," James said  
wonderingly. "Like using electric attacks. That would be just crazy and make no  
sense. Then again, the twerp becoming a Pikachu doesn't even make sense in the  
first place."

"So let's just capture the twerp and not Pikachu!" Meowth declared.

"But the boss isn't going to want a freak human turned Pokémon that can't even  
use attacks, is he?" James realised the flaw in their plan. "What if he just got  
angry at us and sent the twerp back?"

"Hey, come on, where's your spirit?" Meowth waved his arms over his head  
furiously. "The boss would absolutely love to have a human Pikachu hybrid! He  
could..." He broke off, struggling to think of something. "Perhaps... when he's  
feeling lonely and wants a conversation..."

"The twerp isn't going to want to have a conversation with our boss!" Jessie  
interrupted, punching Meowth in the head for his incompetence. "In fact, the  
twerp's probably just going to badmouth him until the boss gets fed up and  
throws him out of a window or something."

"He could just gag him then?" Meowth asked tentatively. "Wait, I got an idea...  
he could have a freak show and have the twerp as the main feature?"

"Maybe we should be putting you in a freak show," Jessie muttered under her  
breath, as James stared incredulously at Meowth and wondered just what he was  
on.

"Why don't we go back to the shop and tell the woman her potion was no good?"  
James asked. "Maybe she would be nice enough to give us something else."

Since Team Rocket couldn't think of anything else to do, they walked back into  
the town and returned to the place where they had seen the shop before, only to  
stop still in the street and stare in shock at the empty space between two  
buildings.

"It was here, wasn't it?" James asked in confusion, looking around  
doubtfully. This area did look familiar and he recognised the window the guy  
with the nice ass had been staring into.

"Where did that shop go?" Jessie exclaimed in frustration, also looking around  
as if maybe she expected the shop to have moved to a completely different  
location. "This doesn't make any sense. Nobody could even take down a shop that  
fast, let alone make it disappear completely."

"Yeah, that is pretty darn weird." Meowth shivered. It was much too creepy for  
his liking. First the creepy woman with her vast knowledge and now the  
disappearance of the shop. "There definitely wasn't something right about that  
woman, mind you."

"So now what do we do?" Jessie put her hands on her hips. "We haven't got any  
machines and we can't get any more magic stuff. How are we supposed to go and  
grab Pikachu or the twerp like this?"

"Why don't we go to a sushi bar?" James was pointing at a nearby sushi bar. "I  
really fancy some sushi right now." Jessie and Meowth decided they also wouldn't  
mind eating some sushi and they had a little money to afford food with, so  
forgetting about twerps for the moment, they chose to head over to the bar and  
start eating some delicious sushi instead.

Ash and Pikachu had been having no luck so far in finding the others. They were  
wandering along a side street, looking positively bored. Ash was trying to  
figure out just where his clothes, Pokédex, bag and Pokéballs had gone (he would  
really have appreciated being able to send out Staravia to search for everyone)  
and also wondering how come his hat was the only thing that hadn't disappeared.  
None of it made any sense and it made his head hurt like hell.

"You would think if I turned into a Pikachu, I would actually look like a  
Pikachu," Ash muttered, catching sight of himself in the side of a very shiny  
car. "Seriously, what's with my hair and eyes? I look like some kind of freaky  
mutant Pikachu."

"Pika, pikachu," Pikachu agreed with a nod.

"Gee, thanks, Pikachu." Ash hung his head. Now he felt ashamed to be walking  
around in public looking like this and hoped that nobody would see him. This  
situation was just entirely ridiculous. "I hope it isn't going to be too long  
before I turn back."

"Zomg!" A shrill female voice split the air. Ash and Pikachu looked up in  
surprise to see a young girl with dark hair in pigtails and sparkly blue eyes  
staring at them in rapture. "Dat Pikachu is so kawaii omg!" she screamed, waving  
her arms.

"Pika?" Pikachu tilted his head in confusion.

"Bwuh?" Ash blinked slowly.

"I'm definitely gonna catch you!" the girl squealed, taking out a Poké Ball.  
"Go, Clefairy!" she called out, throwing it. A pink pixie Pokémon appeared,  
speaking its name and smiling.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Ash shouted. "You can't catch Pikachu!"

"Pika, pika!" Pikachu nodded.

"Not that Pikachu, silly!" The girl froze, her eyes widening. "You can talk too,  
omg! This is so sugoi! Clefairy, use Metronome on that kawaii Pikachu with the  
hat, now!" she ordered, pointing at Ash.

"Eh?" Ash's jaw dropped. "But... I'm not... really... a Pikachu?"

Pikachu looked from the girl to Ash and back to the girl, wondering if he was  
supposed to do something. Though, since Ash hadn't yet said anything, he figured  
that he didn't need to. Clefairy was waving its arms back and forth, its fingers  
starting to glow white.

"Wait a minute... the Clefairy's using Metronome on... GAH!" Ash yelled as he  
finally realised what was happening. It was too late to even react as Clefairy  
used Earthquake. Unfortunately for him, the magnitude was 9 and he was sent  
flying into the air and crashing into the ground. "Ow..."

Pikachu was very confused, but he soon realised he needed to protect his  
trainer. "Pikachu!" he snapped, looking at the Clefairy with an annoyed  
expression. "Chu, pika!"

"Ignore it, Clefairy!" the girl said with a giggle. "I want that other Pikachu.  
Use Meteor Mash!"

Pikachu watched in shock as Clefairy leaped into the air and lunged toward Ash  
with a glowing fist. He ran forward and narrowly jumped in the way of the blow,  
taking the full force of the attack and flying back, crashing into the ground. "Pika..."  
he muttered weakly, struggling to his feet. That had been a pretty hard blow and  
taking the whole force of it didn't help matters.

"Pikachu!" Ash exclaimed in horror. He stood up, looking at the girl and  
Clefairy with an angry expression. "Will you cut it out already? I'm not even a  
real Pokémon, so just give it up!"

The girl, however, was not listening to him. "Ganbatte, Clefairy!" she squeaked,  
apparently enjoying her use of annoying fangirl Japanese. "Now use your  
Metronome attack once more!"

"Pikachu, hit it with the biggest Thunder you can!" Ash ordered. "I won't get  
mad if you hit the girl as well."

Pikachu pretended not to hear the last sentence and unleashed a massive Thunder  
attack that struck the Clefairy, frying it. The Clefairy fell over on its back,  
eyes swirling madly.

"Oh no, my kawaii Clefairy!" the girl wailed in horror. She pulled out its Poké  
Ball and recalled it, looking close to tears. "Gomen, Clefairy, I didn't think  
we would have such a hard time. I'm going to become a better Pokémon trainer, I  
swear!" She turned around and ran off.

Ash and Pikachu collapsed against each other, sighing in relief as the nuisance  
was finally driven off.

"That sure wasn't much fun, huh?" Ash shook his head. "I really didn't expect  
someone to try and catch me. Is it even possible for me to go into a Poké Ball?  
Not that I really want to find out though."

"Pika." Pikachu nodded emphatically. As far he was concerned, going inside a  
Poké Ball was worse than facing a life or death situation and picking death.  


They couldn't sit there forever doing nothing so they set off in search of  
Brock, May and Dawn again. However, their search was soon interrupted when they  
ran across a familiar person who was absolutely not stalking Ash. Not at all.

Paul was just standing in the street for no reason, though he might have been  
hoping to see a certain person he somehow knew was in this town, and minding his  
own business when he heard a familiar voice calling out his name. He  
automatically looked annoyed and turned around, his annoyance turning to  
confusion when he didn't see Ash.

"I'm down here!" Ash waved his arms. Why was he trying to get Paul's attention  
when he looked like a freaky human Pikachu hybrid? Even he wasn't sure why.

Paul stared at the strange being known as Ashachu to many with a disbelieving  
expression. He was seeing things, wasn't he? How could that annoying trainer  
have possibly turned into a Pikachu? Humans turning into Pokémon didn't even  
seem possible in the least. Believing that he was simply hallucinating for some  
bizarre reason, Paul sharply turned around and walked off, looking positively  
disturbed.

"Aww, he completely ignored me." Ash turned to Pikachu, looking disappointed.  
"He's such a jerk."

"Pi." Pikachu let out a mushroom shaped sigh in exasperation. What kind of  
reaction had he even been expecting to get out of his rival anyway?

Eventually, they found May, Dawn and Brock, who were quite relieved to be  
reunited with them.

"So, how long are you going to be like this anyway?" Dawn asked, kneeling in  
front of Ash. It actually was rather weird seeing her friend as a Pikachu, even  
if he was so cute.

"I don't know, but I do know if I don't turn back soon, I won't be happy." Ash  
pouted, about as well as a Pikachu could pout anyway. "Some crazy girl sicked a  
Clefairy on me earlier so that she could beat me up and then try to catch me. If  
it hadn't been for Pikachu, then who knows, I might even have been caught."

"How did Team Rocket even manage to get a hold of something like that anyway?"  
May asked, looking thoughtful. "It was some kind of a potion, wasn't it? I  
didn't think things like that would even exist, but apparently they do. How did  
you become a Pikachu the first time, Ash?"

"Some witch was casting a spell that would let someone talk to Pokémon," Ash  
replied. "Except, you know, she kind of screwed up and turned me into a Pikachu.  
Does the fact my hat remained and my clothes and everything else disappeared  
make any kind of sense to you guys?"

"Nope," Brock replied. "If the hat wasn't a completely different hat, I'd  
suggest you had some kind of magical spell resistant hat, but considering that  
isn't even the same hat you wore back then, I really don't know. Don't worry,  
you'll probably turn back soon like last time."

Since nobody had any idea of what to do next, they walked to the Pokémon Center  
and stayed there for the night. In the morning, Ash soon turned back to normal  
much to his relief. The group set off from the filler town, aiming to reach  
their next destination, which was Snowpoint City. Since Ash had the badge from  
Canalave Gym now, Snowpoint City was obviously the next place to go so that he  
could get his seventh badge and finally take another step closer to the Sinnoh  
League.

Jessie, James and Meowth never did find the strange spell shop again so they  
gave up and went back to doing what they always did, stalking the twerps and  
coming up with diabolical plots that involved stealing Pokémon and would  
inevitably end up failing horribly. Of course, knowing they would fail horribly  
never deterred them from their never ending quest to steal Pokémon.


	7. The trip to Snowpoint City wasn

  
The trip to Snowpoint City wasn't going quite as smoothly as everyone had hoped  
it would. For some reason, Dialga and Palkia had started bickering again and  
they just happened to be bickering right on the route that would take everyone  
to Snowpoint City. Ash, Dawn, May and Brock kept having to duck as various  
attacks flew past, crashing into the ground around them.

"You guys don't look so surprised to see something like this," May observed,  
shielding her eyes from the blistering snowfall that engulfed them. How could  
Dialga and Palkia even enjoy battling with the furious hail falling and hurting  
them all the while anyway? "Or is it just my imagination?"

"This isn't the first time that we've seen them acting like this," Dawn told  
her, pursing her lips in annoyance as she looked up at the Time and Space  
deities. "We've seen them battle before in a place called Alamos Town. I just  
hope they don't suck this place into another dimension and cause it to destroy  
itself." May turned pale at the thought. "Yeah, that's what happened in Alamos  
Town. We were lucky we were able to stop the battle before it was too late."

"Hey, Dialga, Palkia!" Ash yelled, even though it didn't make any difference  
whatsoever. He just had to try it anyway. "Will you two just quit it? Go to  
another dimension or something, we want to go to Snowpoint City, preferably  
without getting hurt!"

"Where's a giant tower that plays music when you need it, huh?" Brock shook his  
head and sighed. Just why were Dialga and Palkia wasting their time like this  
anyway? "Maybe we should just leave and come back another time. They might get  
fed up and go somewhere else if we're lucky."

"No way!" Ash exclaimed in frustration. "I have to go to Snowpoint City and get  
my next badge. I'm not going to let some squabbling Pok魯n stop me now. Pikachu,  
get out there and try hitting one of them with Thunderbolt!" Pikachu gave him an  
incredulous look. "What? You can handle it, can't you?"

Dialga turned its head to look at the four human beings standing down below and  
watching their battle. It realised that they wanted to try and put a stop to  
their fighting for some reason and since it apparently hated Palkia so much and  
Palkia hated it too and they wanted to keep fighting, it would rather that they  
didn't attempt to stop it. So it immediately opened up a swirling vortex behind  
them. Ash, May, Dawn and Brock turned around to look at the vortex in surprise,  
wondering what it was. Dialga flew forwards and whacked them with its tail,  
sending them all flying into the vortex and screaming all the while. A moment  
later, the vortex closed up and Dialga and Palkia went back to fighting for no  
actual reason.

Ash, May, Dawn and Brock fell through the strange, swirling vortex for a while.  
They had grown bored of screaming and were now wondering just where they were  
even going. After all, they weren't used to falling through strange vortexes.

"I wonder if Dialga sent us somewhere?" May asked in a worried tone. "Which one  
was the Space Deity and which one was the Time Deity again?"

"What is with all this ridiculous Deity nonsense?" Dawn looked positively  
frustrated at the repetition of the word deity. "G, O, D. God, people. Just say  
God! You aren't all going to die horrible, violent deaths while writhing in  
agony if you say God!" Ash, Brock and May stared at her in stunned silence. She  
giggled awkwardly. "Sorry, I kind of lost it there. Maybe because we're flying  
through a vortex. Doesn't happen every day, does it?"

"Uh... anyway, May, Palkia rules over space and Dialga rules over time," Brock  
explained for her. "Hmm, since it was Dialga, then I'm pretty sure we're not  
being sent into another dimension." Now he sounded quite nervous.

"You mean we're being sent to another time?" Ash exclaimed in horror, his eyes  
widening. That would not do! They simply could not be travelling in time! But  
Dialga sending them through time did make sense. That meant right now this  
strange vortex could actually be sending them to another time period. "Oh geez,"  
he moaned, clutching his head in frustration. "So much for getting to Snowpoint  
City."

"Yeah, well, if you had just listened to Brock and we had turned back instead of  
trying to stop them fighting so that we could get to Snowpoint City, we wouldn't  
be in this situation," Dawn said in a snappish voice. "Geez, Ash, did you really  
think you could stop them?"

"It could have been worse," Brock said, trying to reason with her. "Dialga and  
Palkia could have both turned around and thrown their most powerful attacks at  
us, then we would have been toast. I'm sure we can try to figure a way out of  
this situation if we ever get to the end of this vortex. Why is it even taking  
so long?"

"I've gone back in time before," said May. They stared at her in confusion.  
"Remember when my Eevee hatched from its egg? I had just come back from a  
journey into the past where I saved that Pokémon paediatrician from later dying.  
It was really weird. This pendant had just been lying on the side of a train  
track for years without anyone ever finding it and then somehow, when I picked  
it up, it sent me back into the past, then when I did what I was supposed to do,  
it just sent me back at the right time. The train station was actually running  
again too, which was weird."

"Uh... okay then." Ash looked very confused. "So... you don't still have that  
time travelling pendant, do you?"

"No. Anyway, how does a pendant take people through time?" May folded her arms,  
frowning. "It makes about as much sense as a person turning into a Pokémon.  
Great, now we're talking about even more things that don't make sense. I'm  
getting tired of this."

Suddenly, a point of light appeared at the end of the vortex, growing even  
larger until it swallowed them all up and then they were out of the vortex,  
flying through the air and hitting the ground. Luckily for them, the impact was  
cushioned by the soft snow beneath them. Snow was falling gently down around  
them.

"Huh?" Ash sat up, looking astonished. "We must still be near Snowpoint City. I  
guess Dialga and Palkia just wanted us gone for a little while and left before  
we came back."

"Really?" Dawn looked doubtful. "You don't think that maybe..."

"Let's go!" Ash got to his feet, smiling. "I've got another Gym Badge to get  
after all."

"But..." May broke off, realising it was no use. Maybe Ash was right, they had  
only gone forward in time for like an hour. Dialga couldn't really have done  
something so extreme as sending them far into the past or future just to get  
them out of the way, could it?

"I sure hope Ash is right," Brock said as the group started walking toward  
Snowpoint City. "Let's just ask someone what the date is once we get there to be  
extra sure though. Nobody wants to be doing the League or Grand Festival in the  
wrong time period, do they?"

Eventually, they arrived at Snowpoint City. Ash wanted to go straight to the gym  
as usual, but everyone else was adamant on going to the Pokémon Center first and  
making absolutely sure they were in the right time. They hurried into the center  
and walked over to the counter where Nurse Joy was standing on duty.

"Welcome!" Nurse Joy said cheerfully. "What can I do for you?" Brock wanted to  
flirt with her, but the thought of them being in the wrong time put him off. For  
all he knew, this same Nurse Joy was dead, not yet born, only a child or even an  
old woman, a possibility that put him off considerably.

"Nurse Joy, do you remember me?" May asked. "I came here once and asked you to  
call up the Pokémon Centers to look for my friend, who is standing here right  
now actually. My name is May."

"Um, I'm sorry?" Nurse Joy smiled awkwardly. "I can't remember every single  
person who comes in here."

"Well, it wasn't that long ago... I think." May bit her lower lip anxiously.  
"Okay, what about the Wallace Cup? Do you remember when the Wallace Cup  
happened?"

"Come on!" Dawn yelled, startling her. "We're not going to find out anything  
like this!" She stormed over to the nearby phones, scowling and picking up a  
receiver. "I'm going to call Mom."

"Good idea, I'll call my family as well," May said, hurrying over to pick up  
another phone.

"Then I'll call Professor Oak," Ash said eagerly, rushing to the last phone and  
picking it up. Calling his own mother hadn't occurred to him for some odd  
reason.

Brock stared at them, a sweat drop rolling down his head. He looked at Nurse  
Joy, who seemed completely bewildered at their behaviour. "I guess they must  
just be feeling a little homesick," he said lamely.

Dawn listened to the phone ringing and ringing, until finally she just gave up  
and put the receiver down in disappointment. "I guess Mom just isn't home right  
now," she said in an awkward voice, not really wishing to think of the other  
possible reasons.

Ash's call soon went through and he found himself looking at a slightly younger  
Professor Oak. His mouth dropped. "Professor Oak? You look kind of different,"  
he blurted out.

"Huh? Who are you?" Professor Oak leaned forward, scrutinising him with his  
gaze. "You look like... no, you couldn't possibly be." He waved a hand. "And I  
don't know what you mean by looking different."

May's call was eventually answered and the screen flickered into life. A much  
younger girl with the same brown hair and blue eyes was holding the phone on the  
other end, grinning widely as she looked at the screen. A younger boy with dark  
hair and oversized glasses was standing next to her.

"Aah!" May yelped as she realised that she was looking at her younger selves.  
"What is this?"

"Hold on a minute, Professor Oak," Ash said quickly, putting the phone aside and  
walking over to look at the video screen of May's phone curiously. Brock and  
Dawn were also looking, amazed at the sight of young May and Max.

"Hi!" Young May enthusiastically greeted them in a high pitched voice. Max was  
quiet, staring at them with wide eyed curiosity and sucking his thumb.

"Wow, how old are you?" Dawn asked. "You look about four or five there."

"You sure were a cute kid," Ash commented, causing May to blush deeply.

"Um, I think I should hang up now," May said in a nervous voice. "I don't want  
to... well, mess anything up, you know? Talking to myself is pretty different to  
saving some random person's life."

"May, are you playing with the phone again?" Norman's voice came from off  
screen. May yelped, dropping the phone with a loud clatter, and hastily moved  
out of sight of the video screen. The last thing she wanted was to mess with her  
parents' minds.

"The phone was ringing, Daddy," little May explained as Norman came over to see  
who she was speaking to. "I picked it up!"

"Well, come and find me or your mother next time, will you?" Norman asked,  
ruffling her hair. "I don't want you speaking to strange people on the phone."  
He looked at Ash, Dawn and Brock. "Hello. What can I do for you?"

"Um, sorry, it looks like we dialled the wrong number," Ash said, picking up the  
phone. "Sorry to bother you." He quickly hung up and went back to where  
Professor Oak was patiently waiting. Dawn, May and Brock clustered around him.

"What is going on?" Professor Oak asked, a little impatiently. "I don't have  
time to play games."

"Don't you recognise me, Professor Oak?" Ash enquired.

"Uh, well..." Professor Oak stared at him. "You do look a lot like someone I  
know, but considering that someone is five years old, I really don't think  
you..."

"But I am!" Ash exclaimed. "You see, I got into a little incident with a Pokémon  
that rules over time..." He trailed off, letting Professor Oak figure it out for  
himself.

"Oh." Professor Oak was no stranger to time travel. He faintly remembered an  
incident with a Celebi when he was ten years old, though he didn't really  
remember it all that well. He just knew he had once gone to the future. "I see.  
So you really are Ash then. For some reason, I can't say that I'm surprised."

"What, you mean Ash has always been an idiot?" Dawn cut in.

"Hey!" Ash exclaimed, sounding injured. "That wasn't a very nice thing to say."

"You're the reason we got thrown into the past!" Dawn exclaimed, shutting him  
up. Ash turned back to look at Professor Oak with a glum expression.

"So, you called me up to see if I could help?" Professor Oak guessed. "Why don't  
you drop by Pallet Town and we can talk there? I figure since you're at least  
five years in the past, you have plenty of free time to come over from wherever  
you are."

"Isn't that the truth?" Brock said dryly. "I hope we can figure out how to get  
back to the future soon."

"This is just so weird," May commented, shaking her head. "Everyone I know is  
five years younger. I guess I never really thought about how weird time travel  
was, but it is, isn't it?"

"We'll come over to Pallet Town as soon as we can," Ash said. "See you soon,  
Professor." He hung up the phone. "Well then, we'd better figure out a way to  
get to Kanto as quickly as possible. I don't want to spend too long in the past  
after all. Hey, do you think if I got a gym badge now, it would count in the  
future?" Dawn shot him a venomous look and he shivered nervously. "Heh, I was  
just kidding."

"Try and relax a bit, Dawn." May put a hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be  
fine. We won't be trapped in the past forever."

"Eh... I guess I'm just worried." Dawn sighed. "What if we can't get back?"

"Let's not think about that just yet," Brock advised. "We'll see if Professor  
Oak can help us first. Who knows, we might even meet a Celebi somewhere." Even  
that didn't seem so likely, but they had seen Celebi before, so why not?

Luckily, the ship for Johto was leaving Snowpoint City that evening and they  
boarded it. The ship arrived at Olivine City the next morning. Immediately after  
that, they were able to take the S.S. Aqua over to Vermilion City in Kanto. From  
Vermilion City, it took the rest of the day to reach Viridan City. Since it was  
night by the time they arrived, they stayed at the Pokémon Center.

"Remember this place, Pikachu?" Ash asked. "In five years, we'll be blowing it  
up." May and Dawn gave him strange looks. Brock didn't, since he already knew  
about it. Ash wisely decided not to tell Nurse Joy about it. If Nurse Joy  
remembered and kicked him right out of the Pokémon Center without taking so much  
as one look as Pikachu, that would have been pretty bad. Not that he really  
thought Nurse Joy would do such a thing, but it was better to stay on the safe  
side of things.

The next morning, they headed over to Pallet Town and met Professor Oak at the  
laboratory. He ushered them into the living room and they sat down on the couch.

"So, you came here to the past because of a Pokémon that... what was it you  
said, rules over time?" Professor Oak asked, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I  
suppose you aren't talking about Celebi, are you?"

"No, it definitely wasn't Celebi," May replied. "Though if we could find a  
Celebi to help us, then that would be great since the chances of finding the  
same Pokémon that sent us here seem awfully slim."

"You know about the Sinnoh region, don't you, Professor?" Ash asked. "You must  
also know about Johto and Hoenn as well, right?"

"Well, yeah," Professor Oak said, coughing and looking shifty. "Except I'm not  
allowed to tell anyone about them until a certain time, for some reason. It's  
like these regions suddenly just pop out of nowhere, isn't it? And then there  
are people who somehow knew about them the whole time. Isn't that just weird? I  
haven't even seen a single Pokémon from those regions in Kanto yet."

"That is really strange, isn't it?" Ash crossed his arms and sat back, frowning  
slightly.

"Uh, hello?" Brock decided to remind them about the problem at hand. "We still  
have a time travel problem to talk about, remember?"

"There are two Pokémon in Sinnoh," Dawn started explaining. "Palkia is the  
Pokémon that rules over space and Dialga is the Pokémon that rules over time. We  
had a run in with them when they were battling somewhere in Sinnoh and then  
Dialga sent us into a time warp and we ended up here. I don't think it's going  
to be very easy finding Dialga again, there only seems to be one of it."

"Sent back in time by the Pokémon known as Dialga," Professor Oak said  
thoughtfully. "Well, isn't that interesting. I really think that your best  
chance would be to try and find a Celebi somewhere. Even that might be difficult  
considering they aren't exactly common but you don't really seem to have much  
choice."

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Professor Oak excused himself for a moment and went  
to answer the door. Ash, May, Dawn and Brock were able to hear what was going on  
at the front door from where they were.

"Oh, good morning, Delia," Professor Oak said. He looked at the young boy  
holding onto his mother's hand. "You brought Ash along with you too, I see."

"Not only that but I brought some cookies," Delia produced a basket from behind  
her back. "You're going to be a good boy and go and play with Gary, aren't you,  
Ash? Mommy wants to have some alone time with the nice Professor."

Inside the living room, Ash, Brock, Dawn and May had realised the situation was  
starting to get a little out of hand. Brock quickly acted, pulling the slow  
thinking Ash off the sofa and dragging him over to the other door, pushing him  
through and closing it.

"Hey!" Ash banged on the door in complaint. "Why are you shutting me in here?"

"Just avoiding a catastrophe," Brock said casually, leaning against the door.  
"Now you be quiet."

"Oh, have you got some guests over?" Delia walked into the living room, little  
Ash following behind her, and saw the three Pokémon trainers present. "Sorry, I  
didn't realise that you were busy."

"No, it's okay, really," Professor Oak assured her. "After all, I'm never too  
busy for some time with you, Delia."

"Hi!" The younger Ash walked up to May and Dawn with a big grin, clasping his  
hands behind his back. "I'm Ash and I'm gonna be a Pokémon Master one day."

"Aren't you cute?" May kneeled before Ash with a smile. "I'm sure you are going  
to be a great Pokémon trainer."

"Just make sure you don't go messing around with powerful Pokémon and getting  
yourself and your friends thrown back in time, huh?" Dawn asked loudly, ruffling  
his hair.

"I heard that," older Ash muttered, throwing a glare at the door. Pikachu, who  
was sitting on his shoulder, chuckled in amusement.

"What are your names?" little Ash asked curiously.

"I'm May," May started, suddenly clapping a hand to her mouth, her eyes  
widening.

"Mabel," Dawn jumped in quickly. "Her name's Mabel." May nodded gratefully,  
looking sheepish. It wasn't likely he was going to remember any of this, but  
there was no harm in being careful. "I'm... er, Donna. Nice to meet you."

"Ash, why don't you go out the back now?" Delia asked patiently. "Go and play  
with Gary."

"Okay!" Ash turned around and started running, only to crash into the table  
which he had forgotten was even there in his excitement. A loud wail split the  
air.

"Oh, geez." Older Ash winced at the sound. "I was such a klutz when I was  
younger. That sounded painful."

"Pika, pikachu," Pikachu said in a bored tone. He wanted to be out there joining  
in the fun. "Chu."

"Let's just take a little look. It can't hurt." Ash pulled the door open a  
crack, peering out into the room. Pikachu looked as well.

"He ran right into the table?" May said quietly in a disbelieving tone as Delia  
hurried over to comfort the crying child. "Wow, I feel sorry for him."

"He certainly seems excitable," Dawn commented.

"No kidding," Brock said. "Up until we started travelling in Hoenn, he was  
always acting a little... well, hyper, I suppose."

"Geez, what is all that noise for?" The five year old version of Gary walked  
into the room. He looked condescendingly over at the young Ash, who was  
sniffling and rubbing his head. "What did he go and do now?"

"For the love of..." Ash backed away and leaned against the wall, slapping his  
head in frustration. Now that Gary had decided to make his entrance, things were  
just going to take even longer. His younger self wasn't helping either much to  
his chagrin. Weren't they supposed to be going out and looking for Celebi?

"Ah!" Dawn exclaimed as she saw the small, redheaded child. "It's little Gary!"  
Of course, she thought he was adorable. "He's even cuter than Ash!"

"No way!" May argued, looking at her with a shocked expression. "Ash is much  
cuter!"

"I think I am getting a migraine," Professor Oak announced.

"This is quite crazy, isn't it?" Brock leaned against the door again, not  
realising that Ash had already opened it. He let out a yell and fell on his  
back, pushing the door open all the way. Ash stood over him, blinking stupidly  
and then looking up at the room. Everyone was now silent, looking at them in  
astonishment.

"Yeah, so much for being careful, huh?" Ash said in a defeated tone. Brock  
resisted the urge to get up and yell in his face. Instead, he calmly got to his  
feet and shook his head in exasperation.

"Um... hey, Ash, Gary, I've got really rare Pokémon," May said, hoping to get  
the children's attention. She looked at Dawn. "And so does she. Would you like  
to see them?"

"Yeah!" Little Gary and Ash exclaimed in unison.

"Then let's go outside so that we can show you them," May added, hastily taking  
Dawn by the arm and leading her out of the room. Somehow she remembered the way  
out to the reserve. The children excitedly followed them, eager to see their so  
called rare Pokémon, which were technically rare in Kanto after all.

"The wonders of time travel, huh?" Brock walked back into the room with Ash.

"Yeah... hi, Mom." Ash raised a hand in greeting.

Delia stared at Ash in disbelief, then looked questioningly at Professor Oak,  
her mouth hanging open.

"They had a mishap with a time travelling Pokémon and I thought I could help  
them," Professor Oak explained. "They got here shortly before you arrived."

"We were sent five years into the past," Brock added. "It's crazy, but obviously  
it's true."

"Wow, I just don't believe it!" Delia exclaimed, walking over and putting her  
hands on Ash's shoulders, looking at him with amazement. "You look even more  
like your father at this age. So, you went on a Pokémon journey and got your  
first Pokémon, didn't you? What Pokémon was it?"

"Uh, I don't think it's a good idea to say," Brock interrupted before Ash could  
speak. "We can't say anything that might affect the future."

"Oh, yeah, I guess that wouldn't be so good." Ash shrugged, smiling  
apologetically. "Sorry, Mom, you'll just have to wait and see, but I'm going to  
be a great Pokémon trainer and I'll make you real proud."

"I don't doubt that you will." Delia stepped back with a smile, looking down at  
Pikachu. "Oh, this Pokémon is Pikachu, right? It's kind of funny looking."

Ash face faulted in shock. He was pretty sure that was almost the same thing she  
had said about Pikachu the day he had embarked on his Pokémon journey. At least  
Pikachu didn't proceed to shock the entire room, he simply settled for a mildly  
offended expression.

"We really need to find a Celebi," Ash said, sounding slightly impatient. He was  
starting to get a little tired of the time wasting, which was rather ironic  
considering all the time he had wasted with Characters of the Day and filler  
plots in the past. "If we don't get back to our time... well, I'm pretty sure it  
wouldn't be good."

"I know, why don't you just spend the next five years drumming into Ash's head  
that messing with Pokémon who control space and time is a bad idea?" Brock  
asked, looking at Delia, though he was really half joking about it.

"That's not fair, Brock." Ash pouted and crossed his arms. "It's not like I told  
Dialga to push us into a vortex and send us travelling through time. I just  
wanted to go and get my next badge. What's wrong with that?"

"Of course you need to look for Celebi. I'm not really sure where you can find  
one, but I believe they can usually be found in forests," Professor Oak said.  
"That's about all I can really help you with, I'm afraid. You're on your own  
when it comes to actually finding Celebi."

"Gee, that's a bummer." Ash sighed. "Well, I guess we shouldn't waste any more  
time. We better go and get May and Dawn."

"Yes, let's get a move on," Brock agreed. "None of us want to stay in the past  
for too long."

Ash, Brock, Professor Oak and Delia walked out to the back where they saw May  
and Dawn showing off their Pokémon to the younger Ash and Gary. The two children  
looked positively delighted as they looked at the strange Pokémon that they had  
never seen before.

"Pikachu!" Pikachu ran over, wanting to join in the fun.

"Hey, Pikachu, this is no time for playing!" Ash complained, but Pikachu just  
ignored him. "Great, I hope meeting Pikachu several years early isn't going to  
mess with my mind."

"Don't worry about it, Ash. Your past self is so young right now, I doubt you  
could even remember this day later," Brock said. "Unless you're suddenly getting  
some memories you never had before. Are you?"

"No." Ash looked at him blankly. "How would I know if they were new anyway?"

"Well... I don't know..." Brock trailed off. "Never mind."

"The children are having so much fun, aren't they?" Delia clasped her hands,  
smiling as she watched them. "It was very nice of your friends to do this. They  
came to the past too, right?"

"All four of them are from the future," Professor Oak spoke. "This has  
definitely been a memorable occasion. I sure won't be forgetting about it  
anytime soon."

"Whee!" Little Gary was riding around on Blastoise, while it patiently walked  
around and occasionally threw a mildly exasperated look at its trainer. "This is  
so cool. I want to have a Blastoise of my own one day!"

"He sure likes the big Pokémon, huh?" May sweat dropped slightly with an awkward  
grin. She looked over at young Ash, who was curiously poking Munchlax's stomach.  
Munchlax didn't seem to be too bothered by the attention. "Well, they certainly  
are having fun."

"Your Pokémon are getting all the attention." Dawn sat down on the grass with a  
sigh. Apparently Gary and Ash didn't have much interest in cute and small  
Pokémon at their age. "They don't even seem to be interested in mine."

"Hey, Pikachu, did you come to play as well?" May asked as the yellow mouse  
Pokémon came walking over to them. She looked up to see the others standing  
outside the lab. "Oh, I guess they must be getting a little impatient already.  
This is so fun though, I don't want it to be over."

"The fact that we're five years in the past is a pretty good reason to get  
moving though," Dawn pointed out. "You're right though, this is fun. It almost  
made me forget about the trouble we're in." She watched Pikachu walk over to  
little Ash and Munchlax. "Pikachu wants to have fun too, huh?"

"Pikapi!" Pikachu said cheerfully, waving one arm and smiling. Young Ash turned  
his attention from Munchlax to Pikachu and grinned, walking over and taking hold  
of Pikachu in excitement. Pikachu was promptly exposed to a painful experience  
involving much prodding, poking and quite a bit of cheek pulling. When it  
started to get painful, sparks started emitting from his cheeks.

"Uh oh." Dawn and May scrambled back, their eyes widening as they realised what  
was about to happen.

"Ah! Pikachu!" Ash exclaimed as he saw his younger self be shocked senselessly  
by his own Pokémon. Pikachu sat on the ground, blinking and looked at the  
twitching heap that was little Ash in consternation. He smiled sheepishly and  
rubbed the back of his head. "Thanks for trying to give me traumatic childhood  
memories," he murmured, hanging his head.

"Now that is just weird," Brock observed. "The first time that Pikachu ever  
shocked you, it wasn't the first time you were shocked by Pikachu." Ash looked  
at him with an extremely confused expression. This whole time travel thing was  
just really confusing for him.

"Pikachu pikapi." Pikachu returned to Ash, looking apologetic.

"Ah, it's alright, Pikachu," Ash said, picking him up and hugging him. "Don't  
feel bad. It was his... uh, I mean, my fault anyway... uh, my younger self that  
is... ugh, my head is starting to hurt thinking about it."

"Are we leaving now?" Dawn asked as she and May came over, having recalled their  
Pokémon. Little Gary was laughing at little Ash, who was still looking a little  
shocked at his experience.

"Yeah," Brock replied. "The sooner we go and look for Celebi, the better."

"We were having so much fun," May said with a smile. "The kids are really  
adorable and they really enjoyed playing with my Pokémon."

Eventually, the group had said their farewells and set off from Professor Oak's  
laboratory, wondering just where they were supposed to go next. Searching every  
single forest in the world didn't exactly sound like a plausible tactic.  
Obviously, they were just going to have to rely on luck when it came to finding  
a Celebi. Ash was well aware of the fact that he had only ever seen two Celebi  
during his travels, in two different regions as well.

"There was this forest near the Cycling Road," Ash recalled. "We met a Celebi in  
that forest. It's worth a try, right?"

Anything was worth a try considering their situation, so they spent the day and  
the next travelling to the Cycling Road. When they got there, they searched for  
the forest and soon managed to find it. Ash, May, Dawn and Brock then wandered  
through the trees, seeing various types of Pokémon but no small fairy Pokémon.  
Still, they kept on searching, not willing to give up so soon.

Obviously, at this point, they needed some kind of insane luck to happen and  
then it did. Ash and Pikachu had wandered off along a path, separating from the  
others, when a panicking Celebi flew out of nowhere and right into Ash. This  
only made it even more freaked out and it activated its self defence method,  
which was time travel. Pikachu watched on in shock as his trainer disappeared in  
a flash of light. "Pikapi!" he cried out.

"Pikachu, what's wrong?" May asked as she came running over with Dawn and Brock.  
"Huh, where did Ash go?" They looked at the empty spot where Pikachu was  
pointing in consternation. Clearly, he had just disappeared right in front of  
Pikachu's eyes, but they had no idea why.

Ash was now sitting in the middle of the forest, looking very bewildered. "Did I  
just see a Celebi?" he muttered, getting to his feet. "Did you see where it  
went, Pikachu... huh, Pikachu?" Ash turned around, realising that Pikachu wasn't  
there. He walked back down the path, looking worried. "Pikachu! May! Dawn!  
Brock! Where are you guys?"

It eventually occurred to him that he was entirely alone in the forest.  
Obviously, this was not a good sign. Ash managed to find his way out of the  
forest and found his way back to the Cycling Road. He still hadn't seen anyone  
he was looking for.

"Great," Ash said, looking frustrated and pacing back and forth in annoyance.  
"That Celebi must have taken me to another time. Why do I keep getting myself  
into these kind of things? First Dialga, now Celebi... this is getting really  
annoying."

Talking to himself wasn't going to help matters, he realised, so he took off for  
the nearest city instead and soon reached Celadon City. Ash went into the  
Pokémon Center and thought about what to do next. He could either make Nurse Joy  
think he was insane or use the phone again. Since using the phone seemed to work  
so well, he figured he could try it again.

Again, he called Professor Oak's laboratory. The thought that he could be fifty  
years in the past or future never occurred to him. Ash patiently waited for the  
phone to be picked up and eventually it was. As the video screen flickered on,  
he found himself not looking at the Professor Oak he was so familiar with.

"Gary?" Ash exclaimed. Of course, there was nothing wrong with Gary being at his  
own grandfather's laboratory. It did make sense for him to be standing there  
wearing a lab coat since he was supposed to be a Pokémon Researcher and  
apparently sometimes they wore lab coats. No, what was wrong here was the fact  
that Gary was looking a good ten years older.

Gary just stared at him with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open in shock. In  
fact, he looked like he had just seen a ghost. His face was growing rather pale  
as well. "A... Ash?" he stuttered.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Ash asked. It bothered him how Gary  
was giving him such a strange look. Had the concept of time travel never  
occurred to him? Though that probably wasn't going to be his first thought when  
he got a strange call like this. "Sorry, but I can't really talk to you right  
now. Where's Professor Oak?"

"If you mean my grandfather, he's in retirement," Gary said in a shaky voice.  
"But... I don't understand... you're supposed to be dead!"

Ash just stared at him, the words slowly sinking in. If this was supposed to be  
a joke, it wasn't a terribly funny one, but the look on Gary's face told him  
that this was certainly no joke. "I'm... dead?" he whispered. "What are you  
talking about?"

Gary seemed to be lost for words. He just kept staring at Ash, wondering if this  
was supposed to be some kind of bizarre dream. How could Ash be on the other end  
of the phone, especially ten years younger than he was supposed to be at that  
particular time?

"What's the matter? Why are you staring at the video like that?" An older  
version of Dawn came into view. Ash gaped in astonishment at the sight of her.  
"Huh... no way!" Dawn's mouth hung open as she saw Ash.

"What are you doing there, Dawn?" Ash stopped and shook his head. There were  
more important things to be discussing than why Dawn was there. "I mean... I got  
into a time travelling incident again. A Celebi came out of nowhere and threw me  
into the future!"

Dawn slowly blinked at him. Gary looked positively stupefied.

"You remember the Dialga and Palkia incident, right?" Ash asked. "When we were  
going to Snowpoint City and we ended up getting sent into the past."

"But we didn't get sent into the past, Ash," Dawn told him. "Don't you remember,  
when you called Professor Oak, he warned you about an incident with Dialga that  
was going to happen if we went to Snowpoint City and we put off going there for  
a week until we were sure it was safe to go."

"Really?" Ash's mouth dropped in astonishment. If everything had turned out fine  
and they hadn't gone time travelling, then why were they even lost in time in  
the first place? "Well, uh, I still had a little incident with a Celebi and now  
I'm ten years in the future and Gary thinks I'm dead."

"You are dead," Dawn said flatly. "So, you were on the way to Snowpoint City,  
weren't you?" She bit her lower lip, pondering how exactly she should put it.  
"That means you don't have very long left," she added quietly.

"No way..." Ash shook his head in disbelief. "You're kidding, aren't you? This  
is a crazy joke, it has to be. I'm not ready to die yet!"

"It's no joke," Gary said seriously, giving him a sharp look. "We wouldn't kid  
about something like this."

"Alright, listen carefully," Dawn said. "It happened in Snowpoint City, just  
after you had beaten the gym."

"How do I win it?" Ash couldn't help asking.

"Darn it, Ash! I'm trying to tell you how to save your life, not win a gym  
battle!" Dawn snapped. "Can't you be more serious about this?" Ash quivered at  
her temper and furiously nodded, looking shameful. "We had just come out and  
then this hooded man came out of nowhere and... he stabbed you without warning.  
There wasn't anything we could do."

"I see." Ash lowered his head, swallowing a lump. How could his life be ending  
so soon? It just seemed inconceivable. "Do you know who did it?"

"Yeah." Dawn nodded. "It was Rudy. Apparently he managed to escape from jail and  
he came seeking revenge." Her eyes filled with tears. "You didn't even stand a  
chance."

"Geez." Ash let out a heavy sigh. "Well, if I ever get back to the future... I  
mean, the past, or well, my time anyway, I'm definitely not going to let that  
jerk kill me."

"I sure hope you can." Dawn looked at him sadly. "I really missed you, Ash."

"You had better make sure of it," Gary said. "That's an order."

"Yeah. Don't worry." Ash managed to smile, though it didn't look entirely  
convincing. "It will be okay." He hung up and left the Pokémon Center in rather  
low spirits. The thought that Rudy had come back and actually murdered him was  
extremely sobering. If he didn't manage to put it right, well, he didn't want to  
think about it. Dying young was just too horrifying a thought to dwell on.

Suddenly, Celebi came out of nowhere, flittering up to him anxiously and giving  
him an intent look as if trying to figure something out.

"Huh? Celebi... wait, aren't you the same Celebi that crashed into me earlier?"  
Ash asked.

"Bi." Celebi nodded sheepishly. It looked quite ashamed to have accidentally  
sent him to another time without any warning.

"So you came to look for me when you realised what happened?" Celebi nodded  
again. "Well, I'm glad I found you. I really need your help, Celebi," Ash spoke.  
"You have to take me back to my time... not the time you warped me from. Hmm,  
what was the date?" He paused, thinking about it, then remembered and told  
Celebi the date that they had gone into Dialga's time warp.

From that date, there should be plenty of time to get to Snowpoint City and  
prevent Rudy from killing him. At least, he certainly hoped so.

Celebi nodded and then took hold of him, pulling him into a time warp. They soon  
ended up in the Celadon City of ten years before. Finally, Ash was back in his  
proper timeline and feeling quite thankful for it. He bid farewell to the green  
fairy Pokémon and then left, aiming to reach Vermilion City as soon as he could.  
From there, he planned to take the ship to Olivine City and travel from there to  
Snowpoint City.

Getting to his destination took a little longer than expected, due to random  
unforeseen circumstances, but eventually he managed to make it to Snowpoint  
City, and ended up seeing himself, May, Dawn and Brock going into the Snowpoint  
City Gym.

"Geez, I sure left it close," Ash muttered, watching from a distance. Well, it  
wasn't really his fault that random ship maintenance had been happening and  
maybe he had accidentally overslept on one day, missing the ship to Sinnoh,  
which was technically his fault. But at least he had made it just in time. Now  
how was he supposed to save himself from dying? "Rudy must be around here  
somewhere."

It sure was tempting to go up to one of those windows and peek into the gym, Ash  
thought, as he walked through the city, throwing a longing glance at the  
building. How did it even make sense that he could be existing twice in the same  
time anyway? Was he still co-existing because there was something left to do? If  
that was to save his own life, then it made sense to him.

After some time had passed, he returned to the front of the gym and caught sight  
of a hooded figure lurking around nearby. "Hey!" Ash exclaimed, hurrying over.  
The figure looked up in alarm. "So, you managed to escape from jail, huh, Rudy?"

Rudy threw back his hood and looked at Ash with a surprised expression. "Just  
how did you know who I was?"

"Let's just say I've been through some pretty interesting experiences." Ash  
clenched his fists. "I know why you came all the way here. You want to get  
revenge, don't you?"

Rudy threw back his head and laughed mockingly. "Hah. You think that I would  
resort to something so petty as revenge just because you stopped me from  
achieving my goals and I ended up in jail?"

"Well... yeah," Ash said, looking at him blankly.

"Then you were right." Rudy smirked. He suddenly pulled a long blade out of his  
pocket and lunged forward, thrusting his arm forward.

Ash gasped as the blade hit him square in the chest, his eyes widening. "Oh, for  
Mew's sake..." he gasped out, staggering backward and falling to his knees. He  
looked down and stared in shock at the puddle of blood that was forming on the  
snow, his body quivering. "I was supposed to prevent my death, not die!"

"So, this is how your life comes to an end," Rudy gloated. "At my hands." He  
started laughing again, his chest heaving in amusement.

Ash groaned and slumped over on his side, his eyes closing shut as he waited for  
his fate. He just hoped that Rudy wouldn't succeed in killing his other self as  
well. Maybe, just maybe, he had been successful in his goal in saving himself.

Rudy broke off his laughter eventually and looked back down to see a large, red  
stain on the snow. Ash was gone, along with the knife. "What?" he exclaimed, his  
eyes widening. "Where did he go?"

The door to the gym opened at that moment and the gym leader, Candice, stepped  
out, along with Ash, May, Dawn and Brock. She was holding a box in her hands,  
which contained the badge she was about to give him. It seemed that every gym  
leader in Sinnoh liked to give Ash the badge outside of their gyms for some odd  
reason.

"Rudy!" Dawn yelled, pointing at the Trovita Island gym leader in shock.

"What is that?" May exclaimed, staring at the puddle of blood with wide eyes.

"How the hell did you do that?" Rudy yelled, looking at Ash with a stunned  
expression. "I just stabbed you... but... you're not even... I don't  
understand!"

"You stabbed me?" Ash blinked in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You came here intending to kill him?" Brock shouted at Rudy. "How did you even  
get out of jail?"

"Oh, crap..." Rudy tried to turn around and run, but the snow made it quite  
difficult for him to do so and he ended up falling onto his knees. "I won't lose  
here!" he cried out desperately.

"You've already lost!" May threw a Poké Ball. "Let's take him down while we  
still have the chance! Blaziken, use Flamethrower!"

"Piplup, Bubblebeam!" Dawn ordered.

"Pikachu, Thunderbolt!" Ash commanded.

Rudy got fried, drenched and shocked all at the same time and somehow the  
attacks caused an explosion. When it was over, he was lying unconscious.

"Uh..." Candice smiled nervously. "Can I give you the badge now?"

Candice gave Ash the badge and he proudly announced his receiving of the Icicle  
Badge. Rudy was tied up and put somewhere he would have difficulty escaping.  
With the trouble over for the most part, everyone was able to relax. May still  
had a couple of weeks left before the Johto Grand Festival, so they decided to  
spend a little longer in Snowpoint City. Apparently there was an interesting  
temple they could check out if they wanted to.


	8. New Page 1

  
"So, this is the Snowpoint Temple, huh?" Dawn looked up at the building in  
curiosity. "It looks quite impressive, doesn't it?" she commented, turning to  
look at her companions.

"Yeah, it sure does," Ash agreed, raising a fist. "I bet there must be some rare  
Pok魯n in there. Let's hurry and check it out!"

"NOOOOO!" said a very loud voice from behind them. Ash, May and Brock recognised  
that cry. Dawn, on the other hand, didn't. The four young Pokémon trainers  
turned around in consternation to see who it was and saw Pyramid King Brandon  
standing there.

"Eh?" Ash stared at the grey haired man in astonishment. What was a Frontier  
Brain from Kanto even doing in Sinnoh in the first place? "Why are you here,  
Brandon?" he asked in curiosity.

"I heard a rumour that Regigigas, the sleeping giant that can only be awoken by  
the power of the three Regis, Regice, Regirock and Registeel, dwells within that  
temple," Brandon explained. "As I, myself, have all three of them, it is only  
logical that I would go in there to claim Regigigas."

"Whoah, really?" Ash blinked. That certainly was interesting information. "Well,  
when you get that Regigigas, can I battle it?" Brandon gave him an exasperated  
look in response. "Huh, what's with that look? I could totally beat a Regigigas.  
Right, guys?" He looked to his friends for confirmation, but they were more  
interested in staring at Brandon than telling Ash he was capable of beating a  
Regigigas. Either that, or they didn't think he was but didn't want to hurt his  
feelings by saying so.

"Huh, you look kind of like somebody," Dawn said thoughtfully, her eyes  
narrowing. "Hey, are you maybe related to some guy named Paul from Veilstone  
City?"

"What, people can't just simply reuse character designs for no particular  
reason?" Brandon asked. "Just because some guy looks like me, it doesn't mean  
we're related. You people and your crazy conspiracy theories," he muttered,  
shaking his head.

"It's also very strange that his brother got all the Frontier Symbols except  
yours," Brock added. "You are obviously a tough guy to beat, but why did he only  
fail to beat you in particular? I can't help but think maybe there was some kind  
of meaning behind it."

"You are all completely deluded," Brandon said gruffly, walking past them and  
into the temple. He looked over his shoulder at them with a stern gaze. "If you  
kids know what's good for you, you won't be messing in the temple and getting  
into trouble. Especially you." His eyes turned toward Ash.

"Why, is there an evil spirit sealed inside a stone ball in there?" Ash asked  
sarcastically. Brandon just made a disgusted noise and disappeared into the  
darkness. "Sheesh, what is his problem anyway? What's the worst that could  
possibly happen if we go in there?"

"Great. Now that you asked that question, we can't go in there." May folded her  
arms and frowned. "Could it really be dangerous in there? I heard that not many  
people even enter that temple in the first place."

"It should be alright as long as we all stick together and don't let Ash go off  
on his own," Brock assured her. Ash shot him an annoyed look, but he ignored it.  
"Candice said we could go and have a look in the temple, so why don't we?"

"Yeah, I think it will be worth taking a look," Dawn said eagerly, holding up  
her fists and looking excited. "Since we're staying in this city for a while, we  
need to spend our time doing something." There wasn't really a lot to do in this  
place so they were quite eager to take a look around the Snowpoint Temple.

Meanwhile, Team Rocket were watching from the bushes as usual. They didn't  
really have a good plan at the moment and were content to simply watch the  
twerps like they always did without even bothering to do anything.

"Should we check out that temple?" James asked.

"I've got a better idea," Jessie said. "Let's go and do something at the Pokémon  
Center while they aren't looking. Who's with me?" She looked at James and Meowth  
expectantly.

"I get the feeling that you aren't going to take no for an answer," Meowth said  
tiredly. "Sure, why not? So, are we going to try and actually steal Pokémon even  
though we don't have anything to steal them with?"

"Not exactly. We've been watching the twerps very closely the past few days,"  
Jessie recalled. Very closely was a mild way of putting it. They had constantly  
been peeping into windows and watching everything that the twerps did like three  
very creepy stalkers. "I think the twerps must have some kind of secret. Did you  
know that the Pokémon Center has a basement? At least I think it's the  
basement."

"You mean that room where they looked like they were going down the stairs?"  
Meowth asked. "Yeah, what's so interesting about that anyway?"

"Apart from the fact that Nurse Joy and the twerps were the only ones we ever  
saw going down there?" James asked. "It was pretty weird. So you think that the  
twerps are actually hiding something in the basement and Nurse Joy is the only  
other person who knows about it?"

"Exactly!" Jessie raised a fist triumphantly and smiled. "Perhaps it's an  
extremely rare Pokémon that they don't want anyone to know about, in which case  
we'll just steal it and send it to the boss. Won't the boss be happy when we  
send him a rare Pokémon?"

"I just don't understand how the twerps could get something like that and why  
they would hide it in the basement," Meowth said doubtfully. "But who really  
knows what they are thinking? Let's go and check out that basement then!" The  
three of them shared conspirational smiles and walked over to the Pokémon Center,  
heading inside. Nurse Joy was not at all bothered to see two people in Team  
Rocket uniform and a cat walking on hind legs.

"Can I help you?" Nurse Joy asked pleasantly, putting on a cheery smile.

"Oh, yes, our Meowth is not feeling very well!" Jessie picked up Meowth, who  
looked astonished for a second. However, he had no choice but to go along with  
her ruse and immediately pretended to faint. "Oh dear, I think he's getting  
worse," she said anxiously, hurrying to the counter. "Please can you help Meowth?"  
Tears rained down her cheeks. "I don't know what I would do if anything happened  
to him."

"Here we go again," James muttered, sighing and shaking his head. As usual,  
Jessie was overdoing it with the dramatics and running the risk of screwing  
things up. They didn't want to make Nurse Joy suspicious as that would quite  
obviously hamper their plan.

"Really?" Nurse Joy looked doubtful as she took hold of Meowth. For a supposedly  
fainted Pokémon, he didn't feel very limp and she could have sworn he looked  
perfectly fine a few seconds ago. "Then I'll check up on him right away." She  
walked away with Meowth in her arms, wondering what exactly they thought was  
wrong with him in the first place.

Jessie and James grinned and quickly darted over to the door that led to the  
basement. It wasn't locked for some reason. Obviously, someone was being rather  
sloppy about security. Anyway, it was convenient for Team Rocket and they  
quickly entered, closing the door behind them. James found the light switch that  
turned the light on, illuminating the room, and the two walked down the steps,  
looking around the basement in curiosity.

The basement was filled with assorted junk, like a few boxes and crates of food.  
There was a cabinet as well. It didn't look very interesting and seemed to just  
be a place to dump useless stuff that was in the way. However, there was  
something interesting in here and it certainly wasn't what they had been  
expecting. In fact, a tied up human would rank as one of the least expected  
things ever.

"Huh?" James walked over to the tied up man, who was obviously Rudy, and pulled  
off the sticky tape that was keeping his mouth shut. "Does Nurse Joy know that  
you are tied up in here?"

"That's really strange," Jessie observed, walking over to stand next to James.  
They had no idea who he even was as they hadn't really done much on Trovita  
Island, apart from getting into a little trouble with the whirlpools. "This  
couldn't be what the twerps was hiding, could it?"

"Did you two come to rescue me?" Rudy looked up at them hopefully. "You must  
untie these bonds, for I yearn to be with my love, Misty, and these vile ropes  
are preventing me from going over to be by her side. However, before I do return  
to her, I must deal with that annoying brat who keeps getting in my way."

"Misty?" Jessie blinked in consternation, tapping her chin and looking  
thoughtful. "That name does sound familiar. James, do we know anyone named  
Misty?"

"She was one of the twerpettes, remember?" James reminded her. "Red hair, really  
scrawny, had a very bad temper. Got replaced by the brunette, who in turn got  
replaced by the current twerpette. It's getting hard to keep track of them,  
isn't it?"

"Right, I remember now... wait a minute!" Jessie looked at Rudy in disbelief.  
"You are in love with that scrawny ten year old? What is the matter with you?"  
She slapped him around the face, looking furious. "Go out and look for a real  
woman! I am a shining example of one." She leaned back and put one arm behind  
her head, adding a dazzling smile for effect.

"Are you kidding me?" Rudy looked at her with a disgusted expression. "Misty is  
the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. She radiates an aura of beauty  
and elegance. The lovely Misty is the only one for me. Every other woman in the  
world cannot even begin to compare to her. Compared to her, you look like a  
witch."

James automatically winced as Jessie launched a fist right into Rudy's face.  
"Okay, Jessie, that's enough," he said quickly, grabbing her arm before she  
could punch him again. "It would probably be best if we keep him alive for the  
moment. Okay, so what are you doing in the basement anyway?"

"I was kidnapped and tied up, even gagged and left in here to suffer!" Rudy put  
on a piteous expression that he hoped would make them feel sympathetic toward  
him. "The ones responsible for having me put here was none other than that  
accursed brat Ash Ketchum and his friends! They had Nurse Joy keep me in the  
basement and I've been suffering in silence ever since. Only the thought of  
seeing Misty again keeps me alive through the torment!" He faked a few loud  
sobs.

"Huh? So what you're saying is that the twerp put you down here?" Jessie raised  
an eyebrow, turning her head to look at James who seemed equally clueless. "Does  
that sound like something the twerp would do, James?"

"This is the same twerp who blasts us off on a daily basis. I don't think he  
would resort to tying us up and having us shut in a basement though," James  
said. He turned his gaze toward Rudy. "So what did you do then, try to steal his  
Pokémon?"

"Steal his Pokémon? As if I would do such a thing!" Rudy feigned offence at  
being asked such a question. "The very thought of committing such a barbaric act  
would never even cross my mind. You see, it is because I am in love with Misty  
that he has been treating me in this vile manner. It is merely an act of  
jealousy on his part, not wanting me to be anywhere near her."

"You seriously expect us to believe this bullcrap?" Jessie asked, sounding  
disgusted. "The twerp is so clueless and all he ever thinks about are Pokémon. I  
doubt he would be wasting his time on girl troubles."

"I agree. Who would be locking people in the basement over something as silly as  
women?" James put his hands on his hips. "Or flat chested preteen girls, in your  
case."

"And, even if that was true, why would the other twerps and Nurse Joy go along  
with it?" Jessie enquired, looking dubious.

Rudy stared at them with wide eyes, beads of sweat trickling down his face. He  
hadn't realised that these people knew Ash well enough to know he was lying and  
now he had obviously screwed up. "Uh, well, how about I make a deal with you?"

"A deal?" James repeated. Suddenly, he and Jessie looked quite interested to  
hear more, even from a rambling liar. "We're listening."

"I am a gym leader. I assure you, I am speaking the truth this time," Rudy said  
insistently. "From Trovita Island in the Orange Islands. You know what that  
means? I have really powerful Pokémon, because all gym leaders must have  
powerful Pokémon, right? If you let me go, I'll give you my most powerful one."

Obviously, this was a deliberate lie, as who would even hand over their most  
powerful Pokémon to a couple of Pokémon thieves? But these Pokémon thieves were  
never the sharpest crayons in the box and they fell for Rudy's lie, hook, line  
and sinker. Already, they were thinking about what kind of Pokémon it might be  
and how much Giovanni would pay them when they sent it to him.

"Brilliant!" Jessie exclaimed. "This is the best deal ever! All we have to do is  
let him go and he'll give us his most powerful Pokémon!"

"I never thought the day would come that we would actually get a really powerful  
Pokémon with no trouble." James wept in happiness, wiping his eyes. "Of course  
we'll let you go."

"This means so much to me," Rudy said as they swiftly untied the ropes around  
his hands and legs. "You honestly have no idea. I thought that I would be  
trapped in this vile basement for the rest of my days until you two came and  
rescued me."

"Glad to help!" Jessie and James chorused in unison, stepping back with big  
grins on their face. Now they were waiting for him to hand over his most  
powerful Pokémon to them.

"Go, Tyranitar," Rudy said, sending out Tyranitar. "Now use Hyper Beam on them."  
Tyranitar opened its mouth and shot out a large beam of energy that send the  
screaming duo crashing into the wall and collapsing into a tangled heap. "Heh,  
you two are just gullible idiots," he commented, recalling his Pokémon. "Like I  
would give you my most powerful Pokémon for nothing." Rudy then took off up the  
stairs, laughing at his victory.

Nurse Joy returned with Meowth, who she had declared one hundred percent healthy  
and had no idea why he even fainted in the first place, when she caught sight of  
Rudy running out the doors. "Huh?" she exclaimed, almost dropping Meowth in her  
surprise. "Oh no, how did he even get out?"

"Huh? Who is that guy?" Meowth asked in confusion, looking toward the open  
basement door. Nurse Joy saw it as well and rushed to the basement, releasing  
Meowth who followed her in anyway. They found Jessie and James lying in a heap  
on the floor and looking very confused.

"Did you two let that man out?" Nurse Joy asked in a stern voice, putting her  
hands on her hips and looking down at them suspiciously.

"Yeah, well, you had him tied up," James said weakly. "Doesn't really seem like  
something a good person would do, does it?"

"Maybe we were looking for the dining area but opened the wrong door, came down  
here to look anyway and rescued your hostage." Jessie rubbed an aching spot on  
her body, wincing. "You've got a lot of explaining to do."

"Eh?" Meowth blinked in confusion. "There was a man tied up down here? What's up  
with that?"

"You don't understand!" Nurse Joy exclaimed, biting her lower lip in worry.  
"That man is highly dangerous. He has kidnapped a girl in the past and even  
attempted murder of some young Pokémon trainers. They are still somewhere in  
this city. You have put them in terrible danger!"

"Murder?" Jessie, James and Meowth repeated loudly in astonishment.

"If the twerp gets murdered, then it's all our fault!" James looked at Jessie  
with a horrified expression. "The twerp may be a nuisance, but he doesn't  
deserve something as nasty as that."

"That man didn't tell us he was going to murder the twerps if we let him go,"  
Jessie said huffily. "He told us he would give us his most powerful Pokémon if  
we let him go. Instead he had his Tyranitar use Hyper Beam on us and ran for  
it."

"How could you two fall for something like that?" Meowth asked. "I can't believe  
you really thought he would do that. Man, no wonder the twerps were keeping him  
down here. If someone was out for my life, I'd want to have them tied up in a  
secret place and keep an eye on them too."

"Why were you two down here anyway?" Nurse Joy put her hands on her hips,  
leaning forward.

"Uh, gotta go!" Jessie said, as she, James and Meowth suddenly ran for it. Nurse  
Joy watched them run up the stairs and sighed.

"And I thought the police were idiots for letting that man escape from jail,"  
Nurse Joy said wearily. "Now how do I go about trying to warn those kids before  
he gets to them?"

Meanwhile, in Snowpoint Temple, Ash, May, Dawn and Brock were taking a break  
from exploring. Brock was sitting and watching while Ash, May and Dawn enjoyed  
sliding around on the super slippery ice and taking care not to go crashing into  
the rocks.

"It's just like ice skating, except I don't even need to wear ice skates for  
it," May said happily, doing a little twirl and spreading her arms out  
gracefully. "Imagine Brandon sliding across the ice. It's too bad we didn't get  
to see him doing it."

"Yeah, he got way ahead of us pretty fast." Dawn stopped to rest against a rock,  
looking around and picking out the best route to slide along next. "Maybe he's  
already found that Regigigas by now. Wonder if it's as big as that one we saw  
before, you know, during that whole stuff with Shaymin. That one was huge."

"Hey, why don't we send out our Pokémon and let them join in the fun as well?"  
Ash tried to stop, but ended up skidding furiously on the ice and slipping onto  
his face, sliding right into a rock. "Ouch. I still can't get the hang of  
stopping."

"Just use the rocks, Ash," Dawn said patiently. She looked at Piplup, who was  
twirling on the ice and starting to look a little dizzy. Suddenly, he fell over  
on his side. "Whoops. Overdid it a little, didn't you?"

"Pika!" Pikachu was sliding fast along the ice, using its Iron Tail to control  
its movements and neatly circling around the rocks.

Ash pulled himself up, using the rock for support, and threw his Poké Balls into  
the air. "Okay, everyone, come out!" Buizel, Gliscor, Grotle, Staravia and  
Chimchar all appeared. Brock, Dawn and May followed suit, sending out Sudowoodo,  
Happiny, Croagunk, Ambipom, Pachirisu, Swinub, Buneary, Blaziken, Blastoise,  
Venusaur, Skitty, Munchlax and Glaceon.

Brandon soon entered the room, happy with his new Regigigas. He stared in  
disbelief at the trainers and their Pokémon playing on the ice. "The Snowpoint  
Temple is not supposed to be a playground or an ice skating rink," he said in a  
stern voice. "What do you think you are doing?"

"We were just having fun," Ash protested, narrowly stopping himself from  
crashing into a rock by grabbing it just in time. He managed to steady himself  
and stood straight. "It's not causing anybody any harm, is it? So did you manage  
to get a Regigigas?"

"I certainly did. Now will all of you please recall your Pokémon?" Brandon  
asked. "You don't need to leave if you don't want to, but you could at least  
treat this place with respect. I doubt you were allowed in here so that you  
could have fun."

"He's got a point," Dawn said, looking sheepish. "We came in here to explore and  
maybe see if there were rare Pokémon, not play."

All the Pokémon except Pikachu and Piplup naturally were recalled in their Poké  
Balls. Brandon nodded in satisfaction, then made his way out. Ash, Dawn, Brock  
and May soon left the temple, greeted with the heavy snow that fell on Snowpoint  
City almost every day.

"Hey, why don't we make snowmen?" May suggested. "Let's see who can build the  
biggest snowman in the least amount of time."

"I guess we could do that." Dawn was happy to try anything at the moment.  
Anything to save herself from dying of boredom at any rate. "Alright then! I bet  
I can build an even bigger snowman than you!"

Ash and Brock just watched as they ran off to start building snowmen somewhere.  
They weren't really so interested in building snowmen for some reason. Brock  
soon noticed an attractive woman wandering around and ran off to flirt with her.  
Ash was feeling bored so he wandered over to the Pokémon Center for no real  
reason.

"Oh, Ash!" Nurse Joy exclaimed as she caught sight of him walking into the  
center. "Thank goodness you came over, I was starting to get worried about you."

"Huh?" Ash came over to the counter, looking confused. "Why were you worried,  
Nurse Joy?"

"Well, you know how I was keeping that nasty man hostage in the basement?" Nurse  
Joy smiled nervously. "See, some man and woman came here with a Meowth and they  
wanted me to take a look at it. While I was checking on the Meowth, the man and  
woman were checking out the basement and they let the man go. I was afraid that  
he might have gone and hurt you."

"Oh man." Ash groaned in exasperation. "I bet it was Team Rocket, it had to be  
them. So they went and let Rudy go?" He looked toward the doors of the Pokémon  
Center. "I guess I'll just have to go and find him, then bring him back here.  
That guy's crazy, he can't be allowed to be loose."

"But, Ash, it's dangerous!" Nurse Joy exclaimed. However, Ash was already  
rushing to the doors and was outside within seconds. She hung her head, letting  
out a heavy groan. "Great. Now he's gone and put himself in danger. Maybe I  
shouldn't even have told him."

Ash was quite unfazed by the fact that there was a deranged potential killer out  
to take his life. He rushed through the city, which wasn't hard to do  
considering it was so small anyway and was probably more of a town than a city,  
but didn't find Rudy anyway. So, of course, he decided it was a good idea to  
look in the surrounding woods.

"Where are you?" Ash yelled, walking through the trees and looking around. "I  
know you're hiding somewhere, Rudy!" He figured Rudy would come out sooner or  
later. In fact, he was starting to get a little sick of the guy and wished he  
would just disappear already. How had he even managed to escape from jail in the  
first place anyway? The police had to be really incompetent to let a dangerous  
person get away. "You can't hide forever!"

"Pikachu," Pikachu said tiredly, walking alongside him. What was the point in  
searching for a maniac killer anyway? Wouldn't it be even better if they never  
found him and he remained far away where he couldn't get to them so easily? That  
was what he thought anyway.

"Ugh, where did that guy go? I wonder if he's hiding somewhere," Ash said in  
frustration, hurrying off through the trees. Pikachu was about to follow, but  
heard a sound from behind that startled him. He froze, turning around only for  
someone to suddenly emerge and pick him up, sealing him in a sack and throwing  
him into a nearby bush.

"Heh, that was easy," the mysterious person, who probably wasn't all that  
mysterious anyway, commented, looking at the flailing sack he had managed to tie  
up with a piece of string. "Now to go and deal with that brat." He smirked and  
headed after Ash.

Ash was still looking within the trees. He was starting to grow tired of this  
pretty fast. Maybe Rudy really decided to run off, in which case it would be  
much harder to find him, but he didn't want to give up so soon. If that crazy  
guy was out for his blood, then he didn't feel so comfortable not knowing where  
Rudy was, in which case it was important that he find him as soon as possible.

The sound of a twig snapping somewhere from behind alerted him and Ash turned  
around to see a certain person approaching from behind him. "So, you finally  
decided to show up, huh?" he asked, watching Rudy with a cautious gaze. After  
all, who knew what Rudy would try next?

"I have decided to repent for my ways," Rudy said in a serious tone, throwing  
Ash off his guard in confusion. "I admit, I was wrong to try such drastic  
methods in my attempt to gain true love. Please, can you find it in yourself to  
forgive me for the trouble that I have caused Misty, you and everyone else?"

"Eh?" Ash raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Of all the things he had been  
expecting Rudy to say, this was right at the bottom of them.

"I was seized by such madness that I forgot what was truly important to me,"  
Rudy said with wild hand gestures. "My gym, my little sister, my home, those  
matter so much more to me than some girl. While I was sitting in that basement  
tied up, I was able to truly repent for my sins. I wronged so many people that  
it saddens me so." He hung his head, looking as sad as he possibly could.

"So... basically, you're sorry for everything you did?" Ash asked, sounding  
quite confused.

"I'm sorry for everything that I did." Rudy walked over, placing his hands on  
Ash's shoulders. "I swear that I will never commit any bad acts again for as  
long as I live. Please, can you find it in your heart to forgive me for  
everything?"

"Um..." Ash thought about it, though it didn't take that long considering how  
trusting he was in every living thing that came across his path. "Well, I'm glad  
you've changed your mind, Rudy. I forgive you." Suddenly, he was pushed back and  
slammed into a tree. "Hey, what was that for?"

"Is everyone in this world a gullible idiot or something?" Rudy laughed  
insanely, his hands moving toward Ash's neck. "Prepare to die, you miserable  
brat."

"We won't let you do that!" A female voice yelled.

"Yeah, so you get away from the twerp!" added a male voice.

Rudy stepped back and turned around to look at Team Rocket in dismay. "You  
turned up already? I thought Tyranitar's Hyper Beam would have put you out for a  
bit longer."

"Hey, I think this belongs to you." Meowth threw a wriggling sack at Ash, who  
quickly opened it up and pulled Pikachu out.

"Pikachu? How did you get in there?" Ash looked at Pikachu in confusion. Pikachu  
just sighed and shook his head. He looked at Team Rocket in consternation. "Did  
they seriously just stop Rudy from trying to kill me?" For some reason, it  
seemed unbelievable to him.

"You said that you would give us your most powerful Pokémon!" Jessie yelled,  
pointing accusingly at Rudy. "That just wasn't fair! We wouldn't have untied you  
otherwise!"

"So you give us your Pokémon or else!" James added, trying to sound threatening.  
However, he was about as threatening as a fluffy bunny, but Rudy didn't know  
that.

"Hah! Like I would do that!" Rudy sneered at them. "What business is it of yours  
anyway if I kill him or not?"

"Well, see, we kind of prefer the twerp to be alive," Jessie told him. "If he  
was dead, we couldn't stalk him anymore."

"This guy is so annoying," Ash sighed. "I wish there was some way we could get  
rid of him forever."

Suddenly, Regigigas came out of nowhere and squished Rudy into a pulp, killing  
him instantly. Brandon came after Regigigas, looking at the bloody mess left  
behind in surprise.

"Guess I should be more careful about where I take Regigigas for a walk,"  
Brandon said finally, recalling the giant Pokémon into its Poké Ball.

"That's okay," Ash assured him. "The guy was a crazy killer who wouldn't give up  
trying anyway, so it's good that Regigigas got rid of him."

"Oh, I see." Brandon smiled in relief. "Well then, I'll just be on my way now."  
He then wandered off into the forest, not even seeming bothered by the fact that  
his own Regigigas had squished some random person into a pulp, but it was for  
the better anyway.

"Um... anyway..." James looked at Ash nervously. "Uh, take care, twerp?"

"We'll be seeing ya later!" Meowth added, before he, James and Jessie rushed  
off.

"Huh, what is with those guys anyway?" Ash placed his hands on his hips,  
frowning slightly. "I don't even understand them sometimes. Still, it was good  
that they turned up when they did. I almost got into some trouble there." He  
looked down at Pikachu. "Let's go and see how May and Dawn are doing with the  
snowman building, shall we?"

"Pika!" Pikachu nodded in agreement.

So Ash and Pikachu walked out of the woods, returning to the city itself and  
found May and Dawn furiously building snowmen. Neither of them was particularly  
good at it though and in the end they ended up coming to a tie, though it was  
kind of difficult to judge. Brock later limped over to see their craftwork,  
feeling a little pained after a few Poison Jabs from Croagunk.


	9. Much later

  
Much later, the travels in Sinnoh had almost come to an end. May had gone back  
to Johto and lost in the Grand Festival. Rather than angsting around in Johto,  
she had returned to Sinnoh to hang out with Ash and the others some more since  
it was much more interesting than pissing around Johto and meeting dull  
Characters of the Day with extremely trivial problems. Ash had recently got his  
eighth badge from Volkner in Sunyshore City and Dawn had managed to get five  
ribbons for herself. Now, with the impending Sinnoh League and the Sinnoh Grand  
Festival, things were certainly looking to get exciting.

However, there was no time for that, considering a bunch of stuff was suddenly  
happening. J had randomly popped up over the three lakes and stolen Uxie,  
Mesprit and Azelf for some reason. The only reason they knew this was because of  
Professor Rowan and his assistants conveniently checking stuff out. Lake Valor  
getting blown to heck was kind of a clue that some stuff was going on anyway.

So, right now, Ash, Dawn, May and Brock were standing by the blown up lake and  
staring at it in disbelief. J must have been feeling a little annoyed toward  
lakes or something. She did tend to go to extremes when someone or something  
annoyed her enough.

"I wonder why J stole those Pok魯n?" Dawn mused, looking thoughtful. "Hey, how  
do we even know it was J anyway?"

"Because people saw her ship around the lakes or something," Brock replied.  
"Someone must have hired her to steal those Pokémon, in which case we need to  
figure out who it was that asked her to steal them."

"This is just so horrible." May clasped her hands together, looking sadly at the  
lake. A ton of Magikarp were all flopping about helplessly and not doing much at  
the bottom of the lake. "Look at those Magikarp, they can't even move around."

"This is just unforgivable!" Ash exclaimed, looking angry and clenching a fist.  
"Stealing those Pokémon, taking them away from their homes, I won't forgive her  
for this! And whoever was responsible for asking her to take them in the first  
place, we'll just have to find them and try to rescue Mesprit, Azelf and Uxie."

"But do we have any clues as to who it even was?" Dawn wondered.

"Actually, I do remember now that there was some suspicious activity around this  
lake," said an Officer Jenny, popping out of nowhere and startling them. "There  
were some people hanging around, who all looked the same. They had green hair  
and odd looking uniforms."

"Odd looking uniforms?" Dawn repeated. She gasped, her eyes widening. "Do you  
know if those uniforms had a symbol on them that looked like a G?"

"Uh... now that I think about it, maybe they did," Officer Jenny said, though  
she honestly didn't seem to be all that sure. "You know, I do remember one of my  
relatives talking about some evil gang that wore strange uniforms, but I wasn't  
really paying attention at the time. Man, I'm getting really hungry. I'll just  
leave you kids to keep staring at this blown up lake while I go and eat some  
donuts." With that, she walked off.

"Wait, Officer Jenny!" Brock ran after her, stopping her in her tracks and  
grabbing her hands. His eyes turned into hearts. "I would put my crullet in your  
donut any time." He stopped, wondering what he had just said. "Uh... did what I  
say make any sense? Wah! I... feel... numb." He collapsed and the chuckling  
Croagunk pulled him away.

Officer Jenny blinked, raising an eyebrow, then went off and tried to forget  
about that bizarre situation she had just found herself in. All she wanted to do  
was go and eat some delicious donuts after all.

"An evil gang, huh?" May looked at Dawn and Ash. "But what does the strange  
looking uniform mean?"

"I guess it can't be Team Rocket, though it definitely seems like their work,"  
Ash said with a frown.

"Seems like their work?" Dawn asked in exasperation. "Team Rocket doesn't go to  
the trouble of hiring Pokémon hunters, they do the work themselves. This  
obviously has to be the work of Team Galactic. Weren't you paying any attention  
at all?"

"Huh? But what does Team Galactic want with the three Lake Pokémon?" Ash asked,  
blinking in confusion. It was quite hard for him to keep up with their dealings  
so naturally he was feeling a little clueless. So far, he had seen them try to  
steal a bunch of rocks, then steal some shiny orbs. Why they went to the trouble  
of stealing the Adamant and Lustrous Orb in the first place, he wasn't exactly  
sure, he just knew they wanted a new world. "Hey... could this be something to  
do with that new world stuff?"

"Team Galactic's dealings do seem to be connected to the Sinnoh Space Time  
Legend," Brock said, startling them as he had managed to recover from Croagunk's  
Poison Jab impressively fast. "Dialga, Palkia... it seems to have something to  
do with those Pokémon. I suppose Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf must all be connected  
too. Remember how we saw them on that plaque in Celestic Town?"

"Team Galactic might be getting even closer to creating their new world," Dawn  
said in a worried tone. "What if they do manage to create it? What would happen  
to us all?"

"Hi, I don't understand a thing you're talking about but that's okay, keep on  
talking while I just stand here and pretend to know what you're talking about,"  
May said with a big smile. "Really, I don't feel completely out of the loop or  
anything."

"I'd like to explain it all, but..." Ash rubbed the back of his head, smiling  
sheepishly. "Maybe Brock and Dawn could explain it better."

"Sheesh, Ash, are you starting to forget things already?" Dawn placed her hands  
on her hips and let out an exasperated sigh. "We're dealing with an evil gang  
that's trying to eradicate our world and make a new one. It's not the kind of  
thing we should take lightly."

"But it's all so weird and I don't even understand anything!" Ash protested.  
"Why would they even want to make a new world? What's wrong with our one?"

Eventually, May was brought up to speed on what exactly was going on with Team  
Galactic and what they had been up to. Now that that was out of the way, they  
were wondering how they were supposed to go and find Team Galactic. Someone had  
to look for them, because someone as incompetent as Officer Jenny would never be  
able to find them no matter how hard she looked.

Luckily for them, someone in Team Galactic was already quite keen on meeting  
them again which would make their job much easier. The people of Veilstone City  
had no idea that Team Galactic was operating right under their noses in their  
super secret base right in the city itself. Right now, the leader of Team  
Galactic, a man known as Cyrus, was pacing around a room while his commanders  
were watching on.

"Uxie, the Being of Knowledge. Mesprit, the Being of Emotion. Azelf, the Being  
of Willpower." Cyrus folded his hands behind his back and turned to look at a  
woman with purple hair tied back in a neat bun. "I take it that these Pokémon  
have been successfully brought to us, Jupiter?"

"Yes, sir," Jupiter replied, nodding. "The Pokémon Hunter J was able to capture  
them all without any difficulty. They are currently being contained and so far,  
there have been no problems."

"Excellent." Cyrus paced over to where the Adamant and Lustrous Orbs were being  
held, with the Spear Key between them. "Mars." The red haired woman looked up.  
"Saturn." The third commander, a blue haired man, did the same. "Jupiter. You  
have all done very well. We have the Lustrous Orb, the Adamant Orb, the Key to  
the Spear, and now the three Lake Pokémon. Creating the Red Chain should be no  
problem now. And then... Dialga, Palkia." He waved his arms in the air and  
laughed. "The new world shall soon be born!"

Mars, Jupiter and Saturn all remained perfectly still, staring at him. If Cyrus  
suddenly decided to go off on one of his lengthy rants, then they would  
dutifully listen like the loyal commanders they were. None of them were even  
bothered by the idea of a so called new world and were happy to help their boss  
utterly eradicate the world they had all grown up in for some bizarre reason.

"However." Cyrus suddenly turned around to face them with a serious expression.  
"There is something that has been bothering me ever since I learned about it.  
Mesprit and Azelf have shown themselves to two children. The girl saw Mesprit at  
Lake Verity, and the boy saw Azelf at Lake Valor. Why those two in particular? I  
wish to learn more about this. Perhaps their presence would even help us in  
reaching our goal."

"So, do you want us to kidnap them?" Mars asked.

"Kidnap? You make it sound like something barbaric." Cyrus closed his eyes and  
shook his head. "No, I merely wish for them to be present at the Spear Pillar  
during the ritual. In fact, I do not just wish for it, I demand that they be  
there."

"So what exactly would you like us to do?" Jupiter enquired.

"Here." Cyrus took out some pictures of Ash and Dawn and handed them over to the  
commanders. "Just in case you forgot what they looked like. Luckily, these two  
are travelling together, so it will be possible for you to, ahem, take them at  
the same time. Be sure to escort them here promptly and make sure they can't  
leave. When we are ready for the ritual, they will come with us to the Spear  
Pillar. I am sure it will be quite an honour for them."

With that, Saturn, Jupiter and Mars left him to his fantasies of the new world.  
They thought the idea of actually going so far as to kidnap children was pushing  
things a bit, but since Cyrus had given them an order, they had to do as he  
said. Now the operation to capture Ash and Dawn was about to begin.

The next day, Ash, Dawn, Brock and May were hanging out in a park at some random  
filler town. The league and Grand Festival weren't actually happening for a  
while so they were free to go about doing nothing. No Characters of the Day had  
popped out of nowhere with some random problem yet either.

Then a van drove up in front of them. Saturn came out of the van, except he was  
disguised as an ice cream man with a white hat and a striped apron. The van  
didn't really look like an ice cream van, but he figured they wouldn't pay any  
attention to that insignificant detail. Ash, May, Dawn and Brock curiously  
watched as he opened the back of the van.

"Greetings!" Saturn walked up, rubbing his hands and smiling at them.  
"Congratulations," he said, looking at Ash and Dawn. "You two have been randomly  
selected to have some of the free ice cream I am keeping in the back of my van.  
Please, go and help yourself to some cartons of our delicious ice cream. You can  
share them with your two friends here if you like."

"Ice cream?" May cried out in excitement, jumping to her feet and running to the  
back of the van.

"No, wait!" Saturn exclaimed. He had been about to say that only Ash and Dawn  
were allowed to go in there, but it was too late as May jumped right into the  
van and saw for herself an empty van, save for two people in strange uniform  
staring blankly at her.

"There's no ice cream in here!" May cried out in disbelief, looking out of the  
van. "But there are two people wearing some strange uni-" A hand clamped around  
her mouth and she was yanked back into the van, the doors slamming shut on her.

"Uh, bye!" Saturn ran and jumped into the driver's seat. A moment later, the  
van's engine revved into life and it sped away.

"May..." Ash blinked, trying to comprehend what had just happened. So far, he  
understood that there wasn't any ice cream in the van but there had been two  
people in there and it looked a lot like May had just got kidnapped. "Ah!" he  
exclaimed in shock. "They kidnapped her!"

"What was that she said before they grabbed her? Something about strange uni...  
uniform?" Dawn's eyes widened as she came to a realisation. "That must have been  
Team Galactic!"

"It looked like they were actually trying to capture you two," Brock said in  
alarm. "That man was specifically talking to you both, but then May messed up  
his plan by running into the van and he tried to stop her then, but since she  
busted them, they just drove off with her."

"This is Saturn," Saturn spoke into a communication device as he drove the van  
out of the town. "I found those children and I tried to capture them, I really  
did, but then something unexpected happened and I had to get away with their  
friend instead."

"So, you want me to try next?" Mars asked. "Honestly, Saturn, how could you have  
been so stupid? I can't believe you even thought the ice cream van trick would  
work."

"Well, if you think you can do so much better than me, then why don't you try  
it?" Saturn asked sarcastically. "No, really, do go ahead and try. I've got to  
figure out what I'm supposed to do with this tied up girl in my van. I didn't  
think she would so crazy over ice cream. Anyway, Saturn out."

Mars was in a helicopter with some Galactic grunts. She landed the helicopter  
just out of sight near the park, changed into a disguise and walked over to the  
panicking trio who were contemplating how possible it was to track down a van  
using a bird or whether they would be better off contacting the police.

Suddenly, Brock caught sight of the disguised woman whom he did not even  
recognise and rushed over to her with hearts in his eyes. "Hey girl, whats up?  
Guess what? Its your lucky day. Out of all the girls here, I picked you to talk  
to." He stopped, frowning. "Hold on... there's something odd about this  
woman..."

Mars flinched, her eyes widening in surprise. Had her disguise not worked so  
well after all? But she had a hat to hide her weird hair. How could it not have  
worked?

"All women have an aura about them. Many auras are pure and good, but yours just  
screams evil to me." Brock rubbed his chin. "My radar's pretty good at this kind  
of thing."

"Eh? She's evil?" Ash and Dawn exclaimed in unison. Obviously, if the woman was  
evil, that meant she had to be in Team Rocket or Team Galactic.

"Are you from Team Rocket or Team Galactic?" Ash asked accusingly.

"Rats." Mars fished a smoke bomb from her pocket and threw it at Ash and Dawn's  
feet. It exploded, surrounding them in smoke. While they couldn't see, she  
knocked Brock unconscious and dragged him off to the helicopter, tossing him in.  
"Tie this guy up," she ordered her grunts. "He's a nuisance. Then let's fly the  
hell out of here."

As Mars sat in the helicopter, she took out her communicator and contacted  
Jupiter. "Jupiter, this is Mars, I had a little problem in capturing our  
targets. However, they are alone with each other right now and there is nobody  
to get in the way, so maybe you will have better luck than Saturn and I did.  
They are in the park right now."

"Is that so?" Jupiter looked toward the town with a faint smirk. "Well then, I  
definitely won't fail. Cyrus is counting on us after all." She broke off the  
link and looked at her grunts. "Alright, it's our turn now, so let's hurry and  
capture those brats. Here's our plan. We just use these." With that, she held up  
a cylinder labelled SLEEPING GAS.

"So we're just going to walk right up to them and gas them?" asked a grunt.  
"What if they attack us first?"

"They won't. Not if we take them by surprise," Jupiter replied. "Let's go and do  
it."

Ash and Dawn were walking around the park, calling out for Brock and wondering  
where he was. It was starting to become apparent that the strange woman had  
disappeared with him, which meant they now had two kidnapped companions to worry  
about. They were just walking by a row of hedges when suddenly Jupiter and a  
bunch of Team Galactic grunts jumped out from behind the hedges. Ash and Dawn  
were so surprised by their sudden appearance that they just stood there,  
blinking stupidly. That was all the time Team Galactic needed to spray a ton of  
sleeping gas in their faces and send them into a deep sleep. As the two slept,  
they were dragged off and stuffed in a helicopter, which flew away.

"Mission successful," Jupiter said into her communicator. "Returning to the base  
now. Jupiter out."

Cyrus was only mildly impressed when Saturn, Mars and Jupiter came back with  
their new hostages. He was glad to see that Ash and Dawn had been safely  
captured, but not quite so happy about the fact that their friends had come  
along for the ride. After all, he had only really been interested in the two who  
saw Azelf and Mesprit, not their tag along companions.

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it." Cyrus shook his head as he looked at  
the row of captives lined up against the wall. "If we let them go, they would  
just go and alert the police, and I don't feel like keeping them in my base.  
We'll just have to take them all up to the Spear Pillar."

"Spear Pillar? But it got blown up," May spoke. "Some crazy guy loaded  
explosives all over Mt. Coronet and blew it up. Can I have some ice cream now?"

"Are you serious?" Cyrus looked stunned. "Spear Pillar was blown up?"

"That's right," Brock said. "What she just said is true. We were there ourselves  
and almost ended up getting taken out in the explosion. If it hadn't been for  
her Munchlax, we probably wouldn't even be alive right now."

"How am I supposed to carry out the ritual now?" Cyrus shook his head. "No, it  
probably can't be too bad. I'll just send out some grunts to check." So he sent  
some grunts out to take a look at Spear Pillar and report back to him on how bad  
it was.

"I can't believe you were the leader of Team Galactic," Ash said with a  
horrified expression. "I thought that you were a good person. Cynthia and her  
grandmother thought so too."

"Mind you, he did act a little crazy sometimes and make frightening faces," Dawn  
recalled. "But I just assumed he was a little insane. I didn't think he was the  
leader of some evil gang."

"A little insane?" Cyrus held his forehead and laughed. "If I am dissatisfied  
with the world and I dream of making a new one, then yes, perhaps that does make  
me insane. After all, what sane person would think to eradicate the world in  
which they live and then put a new one in its place?"

"Why don't you like this world? What's so bad about it?" Ash asked. "I just  
don't see why you would want to go to the trouble of making a new one. Can't you  
be happy with the one we have?"

"This world, it is hopeless." Cyrus spread his arms and slowly shook his head.  
"I am tired of this world and I wish for a better one, a brand new world with me  
in charge. I would have the power to shape the world as I see fit and bend it to  
my will. I plan to reshape the universe in my image and become its god!"

"I don't think he's just a little insane." Ash looked at Cyrus with a despairing  
expression. "He's completely nuts. And I thought that Meowth was weird."

The Team Galactic grunts soon came back and reported to Cyrus that about half of  
Mt. Coronet was nothing more than a pile of misshapen rubble and they couldn't  
even find Spear Pillar no thanks to the lunatic who had gone and blown it all  
up.

"Well, great. I guess we'll just have to work on rebuilding Mt. Coronet and  
Spear Pillar, then we'll do the darn ritual." Cyrus clenched a fist. "I swear,  
if I ever find that maniac..."

"He's already dead," Ash cut in. "Got flattened by a Regigigas."

"Oh, well, that's one less thing to do," Cyrus said, folding his arms behind his  
back. He turned to the commanders. "Okay, since the reconstruction project will  
take a long time, there is no point in keeping these children here. Just drug  
them and take them back to that park. So long as they are asleep, they won't  
even be able to tell where our base is."

"Do we have to be drugged?" Dawn groaned. "Well, better than being kept in  
captivity, I suppose."

"So, what, you're just going to kidnap us again in a few years time or  
something?" Ash asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Cyrus replied. "We would very much like the two of you to be there after  
all, since you saw Azelf and Mesprit. I have a feeling about you both, you may  
be very important to the ritual. So, we will be seeing you again some time in  
the future." He walked to the door, glancing at the commanders. "Okay, start  
drugging them now and take them all back safely."

Some time later, Ash, Dawn, Brock and May all woke up in the middle of the park,  
as well as the two Pokémon who hadn't been in their Poké Balls. They looked  
around in confusion, realising that they were indeed in the same park where the  
whole trouble had started.

"I really want some ice cream. Let's go and find an ice cream shop now," May  
suggested. "Or we could go out for noodles. I'm already getting a bit hungry."  
She rubbed her stomach, smiling sheepishly.

"Team Galactic..." Ash stared into the distance with a serious expression. "It  
looks like their project has been put off for now, but they will surely try  
again, and when they do, I'm going to make sure that I stop them. I won't let  
this new world happen."


	10. A random Manaphy was swimming ar

  
A random Manaphy was swimming around in the sea and doing absolutely nothing.  
Meanwhile, Ash, Dawn, Brock and May had returned to Sunyshore City. Dawn had  
just participated in the Grand Festival and lost of course, because it seemed no  
main character could ever actually accomplish their dream. Ash still had a long  
way to go before he ever became a Pok魯n Master, May and Dawn were certainly  
not top co-ordinators yet and it was doubtful whether Brock would ever actually  
become the world's best breeder or not. Anyway, the Sinnoh League would soon be  
impending and it would be a simple trip from Sunyshore City to get to the island  
where the League itself was located.

The random Manaphy poked its head through the surface of the sea, looking toward  
Sunyshore City's coast with a happy smile. It caught sight of four young Pokémon  
trainers just standing there on the beach and looking out to sea. The Manaphy  
realised how bored it was starting to get and naturally it just wanted to have  
fun. Who better to play with than the quartet over there minding their own  
business?

"Mana!" Manaphy ducked under the water, a conspirational smirk spreading over  
its face, and then it moved through the sea, coming even closer to the beach.  
Ash, Dawn, May and Brock saw some strange tendrils reaching through the air  
toward them. There was no time to be freaked out as they got caught by Manaphy's  
Heart Swap and then some very bizarre stuff happened. As they all looked around  
in confusion then yelled and pointed at each other, Manaphy turned and swam off,  
giggling.

"Why am I looking at myself?" Dawn shrieked, staring at her body with wide eyes.  
It was almost like looking into a mirror. She looked down at herself and let out  
another shriek of horror. "What is this? Why am I inside Brock's body?"

"I'm Dawn?" Brock looked positively chagrined. "Why is this happening? I don't  
understand this at all." He looked at Ash and May, who were still pointing at  
each other with stunned expressions.

"Ash...?" May stared at herself, her mouth hanging open.

"May..." Ash blinked. "Geez, it looks like we just all swapped bodies." He  
stared down at May's prominent chest and let out a sigh. "Man, I don't believe  
this."

"I don't want to be like this forever!" Dawn wailed. "What are we going to do  
now?"

"Hold on, we've seen something like this happen before," Brock said, looking at  
Ash and May. "You remember that time with Manaphy and it used Heart Swap in  
order to switch people between bodies? It might be possible that it happened  
again. In that case, we shouldn't be like this for too long, I hope."

"Are you saying a Manaphy just came out of nowhere and swapped our bodies for no  
real reason?" May asked, sounding somewhat frustrated. "Why would it do that?  
What are we supposed to do now anyway?"

"I guess we just... wait," Ash said in a reluctant tone. "I don't think we have  
very many options right now. Let's just go back into the city and find something  
to do, pass the time and hope we turn back soon."

"Here you go." Brock lifted the penguin that was sitting on his head, otherwise  
known as Piplup the forced mascot, and handed it over to Dawn. "How do you  
manage to walk around with it on your head like that all the time anyway?"

Dawn would have blinked, except Brock didn't even have any apparent eyes in the  
first place. Instead she just took Piplup, looking nonplussed. "I don't know  
what you're talking about. Carrying Piplup is easy." She tried to put Piplup on  
her head, but since it was Brock's head, Piplup didn't much appreciate it. It  
just wasn't as comfortable without Dawn's hat. "Okay, I'll just carry you in my  
arms then."

"Man, this is so weird," Ash muttered as they began walking back into the city.  
He stared at his new chest and then curiously poked at the breasts.

"Ash!" May screamed, her face turning red as she saw what he was doing. "Don't  
touch my boobs!" She slapped his hand away, looking annoyed.

"Oh, and walking around with them is any better?" Ash retorted. "It feels weird.  
Can I at least take off that weird thing..." He felt May's body, his hands  
moving toward the bra strap at the back. "Whatever it is wrapped around there."

"No, you can't," May replied, sounding frustrated. "Just try not to touch  
anything, okay? It's embarrassing."

"Then you had better not touch anything either," Ash ordered.

"Believe me, I won't," May said dryly. "Not like you even have much to touch in  
the first place." The horrifying thought of what would happen if she needed to  
pee hadn't even occurred to her.

Suddenly, the ground gave way beneath Ash, May, Dawn and Brock and they fell  
into a pitfall trap, letting out cries of shock. Team Rocket's favourite trap  
had managed to befall them again. As they came to their senses and figured out  
what was happening, Team Rocket's motto could be heard overhead.

"Is that a voice I hear?"

"It's calling to me loud and clear."

"On the wind."

"Past the stars."

"In your ear."

"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."

"Dashing hope, bringing fear in its place."

"A rose by any other name smells just as sweet."

"When everything's worse, our work is complete."

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"And Meowth, now dat's a name!"

"Putting the do-gooders in their place,"

"Team Rocket..."

"We're in your face!"

Once the shamelessly copy and pasted motto was over, Ash, Dawn, Brock and May  
began their clumsy attempt to get out of the hole and looked toward Team Rocket,  
who were just standing there with devious smiles on their face. Whatever their  
plan was, it wasn't apparent yet, but they probably did have some random plan  
set up that involved stealing Pokémon. Eventually the quartet had managed to  
escape the hole and were now facing Team Rocket, all of them looking quite  
annoyed at having been interrupted like this.

"Team Rocket!" Ash shouted at them. "What are you doing now?"

"Isn't it obvious? They want to try and steal our Pokémon," May said loudly. "We  
won't let you guys do that!"

"Let's deal with these guys quickly," Dawn said, setting down Piplup. "I'm  
really not in a good mood right now and I don't want to have to put up with  
this."

"Huh, that's weird." Meowth had noticed that Piplup was being held by the tall  
twerp and Pikachu, for some reason, was on the brown haired twerpette's  
shoulder. He didn't realise why this was of course. "Are you guys a little  
confused or something?"

"We're going to make sure that we last for as long as possible before we go  
blasting off, so don't be too quick to dispatch us!" Jessie threw a Poké Ball  
into the air. "Prepare yourselves, twerps. Seviper, use Poison Tail!" Seviper  
appeared in the air.

"Ugh, then I'll send out..." Ash felt his waist and slapped his forehead as he  
remembered that he wasn't in his body in the first place. "Um, May, could you  
grab one of my balls?"

"What? I'm not going to do that!" May shrieked. Ash looked at her with a mix of  
surprise and confusion and she realised that she had got the wrong idea. "Oh.  
Right. Poké Ball." Giggling awkwardly, she picked one at random and threw it  
into the air. Buizel appeared in a flash of white light.

"Okay, Buizel, I choose you!" Ash said. Buizel looked at him with a surprised  
stare. "Just go with it, okay? Now use Aqua Jet on Seviper!"

"Why is she ordering around his Pokémon?" James blinked in confusion. "Well,  
whatever. I choose you, Carnivine!" He threw out a Poké Ball and Carnivine  
appeared, turning around and promptly chomping down on his head. "Hey, get off!"  
he exclaimed, trying to pull Carnivine off his head. "Attack them, not me!"

"Well, Piplup, I'm just going to use you like I always do," Dawn told her  
Pokémon, who nodded in understanding. "I want you to use Peck on Carnivine."

"Carnivine, go!" James said, once he had managed to get Carnivine off himself.  
"Use Bullet Seed!"

Carnivine let out a hail of bullets as Piplup ran toward him. Piplup narrowly  
managed to dodge the bullets, its beak glowing white. It leaped into the air and  
slammed into Carnivine with the full force of its Peck attack, causing damage to  
the grass type Pokémon.

Seviper had unsuccessfully attempted to hit Buizel with a glowing purple tail,  
as Buizel had managed to jump out of the way in time and was now zooming toward  
it in a jet of water. It slammed straight into Seviper, knocking it into the  
ground. Seviper went flying back, along with Carnivine, and they landed at the  
feet of Jessie and James, who looked down at their defeated Pokémon in horror.

"We're not finished yet!" Jessie snapped, reaching out for another Poké Ball. "I  
choose you, Yanmega!"

"I guess I have no choice," James said. He still had yet to get a third Pokémon.  
"Go, Mime Jr!" He threw its Poké Ball and Mime Jr appeared in a flash of white  
light, smiling happily. "Now use Teeter Dance!"

"Yanmega, use SonicBoom!" Jessie ordered.

"Buizel, you use SonicBoom as well!" Ash shouted.

"Piplup, Bubble Beam!" Dawn called out.

However, Piplup was unable to get an attack in edgeways as it began dancing and  
therefore was rendered useless. Buizel and Yanmega sent sweeping SonicBooms  
through the air, that collided together and somehow managed to explode. Buizel  
and Yanmega were sent flying back by the resulting explosions and crashed into  
the ground. Buizel got to its feet, not yet down, but Yanmega seemed to be much  
worse off.

"Okay, let's finish this!" Ash decided. "Pikachu, use Thunderbolt attack now!"

"Why is the twerpette telling Pikachu to use Thunderbolt?" James exclaimed in  
surprise. "That makes no sense."

Pikachu leaped into the air, letting off a giant bolt of electricity that hit  
Team Rocket and their Pokémon, frying them with ten thousand volts of  
electricity. A small explosion occurred beneath their feet and they all went  
flying into the air.

"We're blasting off again!" Jessie, James and Meowth yelled in defeat.

"That wasn't so bad," May said, holding out Buizel's Poké Ball and recalling it,  
then putting it back. "I think we really confused those guys, huh?"

"Well, at least there's no one else around we know," Dawn said. "Thank goodness  
for that."

"Pathetic," said a voice out of nowhere.

"Don't look at me," Dawn protested as Ash gave her an accusing look. "I didn't  
know he was going to come out of nowhere, did I?"

"And what exactly was so pathetic anyway?" Brock asked. "Or do you just really  
like using that word?"

"Falling into a pitfall trap is pathetic," Paul replied, walking over with the  
same stony expression on his face. "I saw it a mile off."

"Well, geez, thanks for warning us!" Ash exclaimed sarcastically. "Were you  
watching us from somewhere or something?"

Paul gave the brunette a dismissive glance, then looked at the person who he  
thought was Ash. "Having your girlfriend order your Pokémon around for you is  
really pathetic too. Are you suddenly so much of a loser you can't even control  
your own Pokémon? Useless as always." He made a disgusted noise.

"Useless? Who are you calling useless?" May shouted in his face furiously.

"Uh... me?" Ash reminded her of their predicament. "I was controlling my own  
Pokémon just fine, thank you very much. I could even show you in a battle right  
now if you like!"

"Who are you?" Paul still didn't realise what exactly was going on with them.  
"Great, I guess the useless trainer added another annoying girl to his group."

"Another annoying girl?" Dawn stepped forward, frowning. "What is that supposed  
to mean? Are you calling me an annoying girl? You're a total jerk!"

Paul turned to stare at the tall male person, raising an eyebrow. "Okay. One,  
you are not a girl, and two, I thought you were supposed to be the calm one." He  
couldn't remember the tall guy yelling at him before anyway, while the other two  
would get angry and yell at him at a moment's notice. Brock usually had to step  
in and stop them from maiming him sometimes.

"Uh, that would be me," Brock said, smiling awkwardly.

"You?" Paul stared at him in Dawn's body incredulously. "Calm?" He still  
remembered how that annoying girl had reacted to him not knowing her, whoever  
she was. Her name wasn't really worth remembering to him.

"What's with that look?" Dawn clenched her fists. "I can be calm, thank you very  
much!" She pouted in annoyance.

"Seriously, did you all land on your heads?" Paul shook his head. He was better  
off staying away from them. What if weirdness was contagious? "I'm out of here."

"Wait, Paul!" Ash yelled. "I want to battle you, right now!"

"Ash, why don't we wait until we're back in our own bodies before we do it?" May  
asked quickly. "It's kind of confusing like this, isn't it?"

"I guess so." Ash stared at Paul's back as he walked away with an annoyed  
expression. "I swear I'm going to beat that guy in a battle one day."

"Hey!" May exclaimed suddenly. Ash, Dawn and Brock turned to see her gawping at  
a restaurant window. There was a sign in the window declaring an All You Can Eat  
Buffet for a rather low price. Naturally, this had not failed to get her  
immediate attention. "Let's go and eat at the buffet!" she said excitedly,  
turning around to look at her friends hopefully.

"Well, I am feeling pretty hungry." Ash could feel his, or rather, May's  
stomach, growling rather fiercely. It actually surprised him how hungry he was  
feeling. May really did have an impressive appetite. "Alright, let's go and eat  
lots of food!"

"Sure, why not? I feel like I could eat a lot." Dawn agreed. She suddenly  
realised Brock wasn't with them and turned around in confusion, wondering where  
he had got to. Her jaw dropped when she caught sight of him and saw what he was  
doing.

Some poor woman was currently staring in disbelief as who looked to be a ten  
year old girl held onto her hand and started pouring out a profession of love.  
Then she got another shock as who she thought was a very angry looking older boy  
marched over, seized her by the arm and yanked her away, walking off with her.

"Ouch!" Brock yelled as Dawn held on tight to her own arm. "Dawn, watch it!  
You're bruising yourself!"

Dawn angrily turned around, face flushed red with embarrassment. "What's the  
matter with you? You can't go flirting with girls while you're in my body! Can't  
you imagine what that woman must have been thinking? She probably thought you  
were some kind of demented lesbian! Geez, this is so embarassing," she moaned.

"Sorry, I kind of forgot," Brock said sheepishly. "I won't do that again, I  
swear."

"Can we go in and eat now already?" May asked in an impatient tone.

Eventually, everyone went in and helped themselves to the buffet. May managed to  
down a whopping ten bowls of ramen. Evidently, being in Ash's body didn't affect  
her appetite. Ash also managed to eat quite an impressive amount of food. Once  
they had all finished eating, they sat back in their chairs and sighed  
contentedly, rubbing their full stomachs in satisfaction.

Unfortunately, a disaster happened. Well, it wasn't much of a disaster to tell  
the truth, but for Ash and May, it might as well have been. Somehow, at the same  
time, they were both seized with the sudden urge to pee. Drinking so much soda  
while eating probably hadn't really helped.

"I need to pee," Ash groaned, crossing May's legs and looking pained.

"Me too," May whimpered.

Ash and May looked at each other in horror. If they did go, that meant they  
would most certainly be seeing things they weren't even thinking about seeing  
yet. Their relationship definitely had not reached that point. They were surely  
doomed.

"Just go to the toilet," Dawn said wearily. "If you need to go, you need to go.  
Unless you would rather hold it in and risk embarassment."

"Yes, really, I think you should," Brock added. "You shouldn't have drank so  
much soda if you didn't want to go to the toilet anyway."

Ash and May reluctantly headed to the toilet area. May actually had to stop Ash  
from walking into the men's section of the toilets.

"Ash, you're in my body," May hissed. "You've got to use the girl's room."

"Oh... right..." Ash walked toward the other door, biting his lower lip. He was  
not looking forward to this one bit. It was downright embarrassing to even think  
about it.

"Oh, and Ash?" May was about to open the door to the men's. Ash looked at her  
questioningly over his shoulder. "You have to sit down when you pee."

A few minutes later, Ash and May returned to the table, barely able to even look  
at each other. Instead, they stared uncomfortably at their empty plates, their  
faces burning bright red.

"You did wash your hands, right?" May asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Of course I did," Ash mumbled.

"Why are you making such a big deal about it anyway?" Dawn asked with a grin. "I  
thought you two were going out with each other now."

"Yeah, but we weren't ready to... you know," May said uncomfortably. "It's the  
first time I've ever..." She broke off, shaking her head. "Uh... it's just kind  
of weird."

"I really hope we are going to turn back soon." Ash folded his arms and sat  
back, frowning. "I don't want to spend another day like this. It's really too  
weird."

"I'm not really enjoying being in Dawn's body either," Brock said, resting his  
chin in one hand. "I can't go off and flirt with women, plus wearing this short  
skirt feels really awkward. It's so draughty."

"Really?" Dawn looked at him in surprise. "I find it quite comfortable. But I  
guess you wouldn't be used to wearing skirts anyway." She looked at Ash, or  
rather May. "Remember when you wore that maid outfit?"

"Huh?" May blinked. "I wore a maid outfit?" She looked at Ash. "Wait, you mean  
Ash actually wore a maid outfit once?"

"They didn't have any outfits for males," Ash protested awkwardly. "And I wanted  
to help out, so I didn't really have much choice."

"I thought you looked pretty good in the maid outfit." Dawn smirked. "It's  
strange how wearing a dress can suit you."

"I got him to cross dress as well once," May recalled. Ash shot her an  
embarrassed look. "It wasn't really fair though, I asked him if he would do us a  
favour and he said yes."

"Yeah, and then you told me to wanted to dress up as that girl so that we could  
help the guy practice." Ash pouted. "Then Brock came on to me."

"Well, you were doing such a good job of dressing up as her," Brock said  
sheepishly. "And she was quite attractive." Ash just looked at him in annoyance.  
"You know, that wasn't the first time he ever dressed up as a girl," he said to  
May and Dawn.

"Brock!" Ash whined in complaint. He didn't see the point in them relaying all  
the times he had put on a dress. Were they just doing this for their own sick  
amusement? It didn't seem all that funny to him.

"See, we were in Celadon City and went to this perfume shop," Brock explained.  
"Ash insulted the perfume and got kicked out. Turns out one of the women in the  
shop was also the Celadon City Gym Leader and she wouldn't let Ash come in after  
what he did."

"That's kind of silly, refusing to let someone battle you for a badge just  
because they don't like perfume," Dawn commented, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I don't think Ash being rude about it helped," Brock said. Ash stared at  
the floor, chewing his lower lip and looking guilty. "So he dressed up as a girl  
named Ashley to get in, except Pikachu ended up blowing his cover."

"Pika!" Pikachu nodded, smiling.

"Okay, are we done now?" Ash asked, looking at May and Dawn who were staring at  
him with smirks on their faces. "I'm never going to wear a dress again if I can  
help it."

Since they had all finished eating, they walked out of the restaurant and  
decided to just walk through the city in the hopes of something random happening  
that would waste even more time before they hopefully reverted to their normal  
bodies at some point.

Just then, Palkia came out of nowhere, having just escaped from Dialga who was  
trying to pick on it again. In the process, it ripped open a giant void into  
another dimension, just in case it needed to go somewhere else. Unfortunately  
for Ash and co, this giant void was right beneath their feet. Palkia was being  
really careless in its distress. Ash, Dawn, May and Brock fell screaming into  
the dimensional void, seeing Unown flying around them in random patterns. Then  
they hit the ground. Luckily for them, the landing was quite soft. Also, the  
shift between dimensions had somehow restored themselves to their normal bodies,  
but they had more important things to think about right now.

"Ugh, what's going on?" May looked around in confusion. "Now what happened?"

"Did I just see random letters of the alphabet flying around?" Dawn asked.

"Those were the Unown," Brock explained. "They usually live in a dimension  
separate to ours. The fact we saw them means we probably ended up going  
somewhere out of our own world."

"Palkia did that, huh?" Ash looked around. "Eh? What the...?" They were sitting  
on a fluffy cloud and there was land, right above their heads, except it was  
upside down. He peered over the side of the cloud, seeing the sun shining down  
on them.

"Okay, this is really weird," Dawn observed. "Are we upside down?"

Suddenly, everything rotated and they found themselves falling off the bottom of  
the cloud and onto the land below, in a messy pile. As they sat up and got their  
bearings, a line of dancing rice balls marched past them. Ash, Brock and Dawn  
stared in astonishment at the moving rice balls. May, on the other hand, was  
seized with hunger and ran forward, sinking her teeth into one of the rice  
balls.

The rice ball let out a scream of pain, causing May to sit back in  
astonishment as the rice ball ran away.

"Pika?" Pikachu walked up and poked another rice ball, sniffing curiously at  
it. The rice ball ran away as well, so did all the others. "Pikachu?" Pikachu  
tilted his head in confusion. Rice balls weren't supposed to dance, were they?

"I thought they looked good to eat," May said in a guilty voice. "It did  
taste good when I bit into it."

"I really don't understand." Dawn scratched her head, blinking rapidly. "Were  
those rice balls alive?"

"We should keep going," Ash said urgently. "We really need to get back to our  
own dimension before something happens. I don't want to stay in this weird  
place." He looked around doubtfully. Who really knew what could happen if they  
stayed here any longer?

"Right, we should keep moving," Brock agreed.

Ash, Brock, May and Dawn soon found themselves walking through a forest. The  
sky was tinged a strange shade of pink and the same pink hue covered the entire  
forest. As they kept going, they started seeing other people walking around in  
the forest and to their shock, they realised they knew these people.

"Hey, Ash," Richie said, coming up to Ash with a big grin. "I am your clone.  
Your perfect, annoying clone whom everybody hates." Then he morphed into a giant  
smiling face, much to everyone's consternation. The face started trying to eat  
everyone.

"Pikachu, use your thunderbolt attack!" Ash shouted. Pikachu did so and the  
smiling face dissipated in a shower of dust. "What was all that about anyway?"

There was no time to ponder on this subject as Harley approached them next,  
strutting over and swaying his hips while giving them a very innocent smile.  
"Well, if it isn't dear May," he trilled, clasping his hands. "I have never  
forgiven you for insulting my beloved cookies. I've always sworn that one day I  
will get my revenge and today is that day. Take this, cookie hater!"

"Pikachu, thunderbolt again," Ash said as another face tried to eat them.  
"This is really weird."

"Cookies?" May blinked, frowning slightly. "I don't get it. Sure, he let me  
have a cookie when he met, but it wasn't bad or anything."

"Nothing here makes sense." Dawn looked distressed. "Let's get out of this  
freaky place already."

"Huh, I wonder what's in here?" Brock opened up a mailbox and peered inside.  
The mailbox let out an unearthly scream and he hurriedly slammed it shut,  
backing away and feeling shaken after hearing that terrible sound. "I don't  
think we should open any more mailboxes. They look kinda scary."

"Oh!" Dawn was now staring in amazement at a nearby hot spring. "It looks  
good to bathe in. May, why don't we check out this hot spring together and the  
boys can go and do something else?"

"Pip?" Piplup looked at the hot spring in astonishment, then shook its head  
furiously. "Piplup, pip!" it said frantically, waving its arms.

"Pika!" Pikachu could also see something wasn't right about the hot spring.  
In fact, to Pikachu, it looked more like a bubbling pool of purple sludge. "Pikachu,  
pika," he said in a warning voice.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Dawn sighed. "We do have to get out of this  
freaky place after all."

"I'm scared," May whispered, looking creeped out. "This just isn't right at  
all."

Eventually, Ash, May, Brock and Dawn managed to find their way out of the  
forest and discovered that they were now standing in a barren wasteland. The sky  
was dark and they could hear the faint rumble of thunder in the distance. There  
was an ominous feeling about this place that they didn't like.

"What do we do?" May asked in a worried voice, looking around. "This really  
doesn't look good."

"I guess we just start walking," Ash said nervously. "It doesn't look like we  
have much choice."

So, they walked on, past a river of what looked like gushing blood. The sight of  
it made them feel rather spooked and they walked a little quicker, soon arriving  
at a long flight of steps built into a tall stone building. The group proceeded  
along the steps, eventually reaching the top of the building and finding a  
flight of steps leading down. The only thing to do was go down the steps in this  
situation, but as they started going down the steps, they morphed into a slide  
and the group slid on down, screaming in terror as they plunged through the  
darkness, trying not to fall off.

At the bottom of the slide was a whirling vortex. Ash, Dawn, May and Brock slid  
right through it, falling into a new room. The entire room was built of bricks.  
There were Unown moving around inside the room. They all stopped and turned  
their eyes toward the group of four who had suddenly intruded on their little  
party.

"Uh... can you send us back to our dimension please?" Ash asked, smiling  
awkwardly.

The Unown started swirling around and making strange noises as they did so. The  
four Pokémon trainers huddled together, feeling a little afraid at the sight of  
them all moving around so quickly. Suddenly, one of the walls morphed into a  
view of Sunyshore City.

"That's... Sunyshore City, isn't it?" Brock asked.

"Maybe that's the way back!" Dawn said excitedly. "Let's go!"

Ash, Dawn, May and Brock quickly got up and ran through the portal. People in  
the street stared in surprise as four people appeared out of nowhere. They  
looked around the city, satisfied to see that they were apparently back safely  
in the city. Being back in their own bodies was definitely a plus as well, which  
had actually happened when they went into the other dimension, but they had been  
too distracted to really notice until this point.

"Everything's back to normal now," May said happily. "But what was up with that  
random Pokémon appearing out of nowhere like that? It sure was weird."

"Yeah. Dialga and Palkia sure seem to enjoy causing trouble for everyone," Dawn  
said with a sigh, shaking her head. Not only had their fighting almost destroyed  
a town, but because of said fighting, they had managed to majorly piss off  
another legendary Pokémon. Ash, Brock and Dawn all had a horrible feeling that  
their fighting still wasn't over and they would someday be off on another  
adventure involving bickering legendaries.

"Well then!" Ash clenched his fists and smiled. "There's no time to waste, guys,  
we've got to get the ship to the island where the Sinnoh League is. I'm  
definitely going to win this one!" He raised a fist and walked off toward the  
beach, smiling confidently, while everyone else followed him.

Meanwhile, Jessie, James and Meowth were hard at work, having already recovered  
from their blasting off, and now they were building a submarine. This was no  
ordinary submarine however. If they wanted a regular submarine, they had the  
Magikarp one after all. This one was specifically designed to suck up Water  
Pokémon and store them inside a special container within the submarine, then  
Team Rocket would pick out the best ones and send them off to the boss. They  
really were pretty low on ideas right now.

When the submarine was ready, they took it into the sea and started sucking in  
Water Pokémon. Unfortunately for them, some people noticed what they were doing  
and made a scene, which attracted the twerps. Team Rocket had to pop out and  
make their presence known, reciting the motto yet again. One quick Thunderbolt  
was enough to dispose of them and they went blasting off for the second time  
that day, having accomplished nothing more than being there for pure filler.

Ash, Dawn, May and Brock soon went off to the island where the Sinnoh League was  
located. Ash unfortunately felt compelled to befriend someone while they were  
there and ended up with a disappointing loss to that very person. The curse that  
had over him ever since the Kanto days evidently was not gone yet. At least he  
was able to experience the sheer joy of finally beating Paul in a battle.

With a new region appearing out of nowhere and about a hundred new Pokémon just  
suddenly popping into existence as if they had always been there, Ash could look  
forward to someday going to that new region with new Pokémon nobody had ever  
heard of before for some reason, Brock would stalk him all the way to that  
region because he never had anything better to do like becoming a top breeder  
for example, and they would end up travelling with some ten year old girl  
starting out on her Pokémon journey who, quite coincidentally, wanted to be a  
Pokémon co-ordinator just like May and Dawn.

Team Rocket were getting a little tired of this silly act, but life just  
wouldn't be the same if they stopped stalking the twerp and attempting to steal  
his Pikachu, so they kept going on as they always had.

And thus, came the conclusion to a horrible mess of filler plots and random  
nonsense.


End file.
